Have you been in this situation?

Options
xYumzx
xYumzx Posts: 953 Member
in Motivation and Support
I wasn't really sure how to title this...

Both my parents are overweight/obese and I know they want to lose weight but they just dont seem to have it in them to take that first step. My father gets defensive when I suggest healthier foods and my mom gets emotional when I suggest I work with her to make it work. I really dont know what to do, but I dont want to lose my parents to something that can be prevented... Has anyone been in this situation?

My mother I know wants to lose weight but she feels like she physically cant do anything because shes always tired, and my dad has a gym member ship but has stopped going because he saw no progress...

Replies

  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
    Options
    Baby steps.
    First, start to slowly change over to a healthier eating habit.
    Then, when shopping or whatever, park far away from the store.
    When going out to dinner, convince them to skip the dessert.
  • bigdogc23
    bigdogc23 Posts: 66
    Options
    Wow that is a tough one. You have a lot of convincing to do. Sounds like you are going to have to get creative on this one. If you feel so passionatly about it, don't let you father defensive nature or your mothers emotions get in the way. That is their way of blocking you out. You have to get around that barrier, otherrwise they will keep making excuses for themselves, as does most other humans...

    If I were you, I would do some research and get some literature. I am not sure how old your parents are but get literature in line with their age and in line with their gender. Stuff on what can happen if you are obese, what it takes to lose weight, success stories etc. Then leave it everywhere, and I mean everywhere. Put it on the kitchen table, the pantry, on the refrigerator, in the refrigerator, in their car, on your dads work bench, your mom hobby table, post it on the t.v., in the recliner, everywhere they are going to find it. Tuck it in their book they are reading, or the magazine whatever. Of course they will get upset but so what.

    Also, if your dad has a gym membership then find out what groups they have for men. He needs to get in a group that will motivate him. I dont' care if it's a spinning class, aerobics class, swimming class, weight lifting, walking, running, whatever so long as it is male centric. He needs to get around other males that can express their success to him and tell him how hard it was for them to loose weight or get in shape. Once he gets in a group, he will feel more obligated to go, to be there for the other guys kinda thing. Same with your mother. Find out where she can go in a womens group that is more or less low geared. she is going to have to take baby steps if she feels like she can't do it. She needs to be around females somewhere around her age so that she can see that she is not the only one that struggles.

    If you can get them to eat right and workout for 3 weeks you are more likely to succeed. And don't be affraid to give them a hard time. Use tact, but be tough.


    It's a big job, but it can be done..... good luck...
  • va_va_voom
    va_va_voom Posts: 467 Member
    Options
    I have never been able to convince my dad that it's about a lifestyle change and not a diet (I hate that 4 letter word). I've said it to him as plainly as I can, but he just refuses to get it. My mom blames her weight issues on her thyroid and my dad. She will only diet if he is dieting and he yo-yo's all the time. Her thyroid is under control and she shouldn't use someone else as her reason for not eating healthy. My husband puts a ton of junk food into his body on a regular basis, so I know what it's like to live with someone who eats whatever they want (darn my husband's metabolism! I know I'm healthier than he is, though ;) ).

    All you can really do is lead by example and hope/pray that they will eventually get on board. Just don't hold your breath. :-/ My grandpa is 84 and has had open heart surgery, along with 21 stents - but he still deep fries everything.
  • amymarie8709
    amymarie8709 Posts: 329 Member
    Options
    Wow that is a tough one. You have a lot of convincing to do. Sounds like you are going to have to get creative on this one. If you feel so passionatly about it, don't let you father defensive nature or your mothers emotions get in the way. That is their way of blocking you out. You have to get around that barrier, otherrwise they will keep making excuses for themselves, as does most other humans...

    If I were you, I would do some research and get some literature. I am not sure how old your parents are but get literature in line with their age and in line with their gender. Stuff on what can happen if you are obese, what it takes to lose weight, success stories etc. Then leave it everywhere, and I mean everywhere. Put it on the kitchen table, the pantry, on the refrigerator, in the refrigerator, in their car, on your dads work bench, your mom hobby table, post it on the t.v., in the recliner, everywhere they are going to find it. Tuck it in their book they are reading, or the magazine whatever. Of course they will get upset but so what.

    Also, if your dad has a gym membership then find out what groups they have for men. He needs to get in a group that will motivate him. I dont' care if it's a spinning class, aerobics class, swimming class, weight lifting, walking, running, whatever so long as it is male centric. He needs to get around other males that can express their success to him and tell him how hard it was for them to loose weight or get in shape. Once he gets in a group, he will feel more obligated to go, to be there for the other guys kinda thing. Same with your mother. Find out where she can go in a womens group that is more or less low geared. she is going to have to take baby steps if she feels like she can't do it. She needs to be around females somewhere around her age so that she can see that she is not the only one that struggles.

    If you can get them to eat right and workout for 3 weeks you are more likely to succeed. And don't be affraid to give them a hard time. Use tact, but be tough.


    It's a big job, but it can be done..... good luck...

    LOVE THIS^^

Categories