Self Conscious ...

So, I really enjoy running, but haven't done it for a couple of years.

I have wanted to start again a few times, but I am so self conscious! I always think people are staring at me, or looking at my open mouth, or the sweat running down my temples, etc.

All in all, it makes it a completely awful experience for me.

I have often thought of buying a treadmill, but they are very expensive (any one have experience of the cheaper, manual ones?).

What would you guys suggest? I used to run around the park, but we don't live near there any more.

We now live on the main road!

Replies

  • trail_rnr
    trail_rnr Posts: 337 Member
    You could always run at night if it affects you so much that you can't do it. However, running at night has its disadvantages (although I love to run at night).

    Is this a concern because of the way you judge others when you see them running? If so, why do you judge them? Is it because they are not motivating enough? Or something else? I'm not trying to be awful here; just trying to get to the root of why it affects you so deeply.

    Yes, people will see you. Will it affect your future job prospects, ability to feed and clothe yourself, raise your children, or go grocery shopping? Not likely! :tongue: If people register that you are there at all, their brain will probably say ,"Person running." Most of the time, their brains will also say,"Motivating." Focus on the POSITIVE aspects of it. Not only are you doing something for yourself, you might even serve as a motivator for someone else to get out and move.

    However, if you are out running when it's very hot or raining really hard or on a day when the air quality is very bad, person's brain might say "Crazy person running."

    Just go run for yourself if you want to. And maybe, just maybe, you'll positively affect someone else!
  • Pisc2749
    Pisc2749 Posts: 61 Member
    So, I really enjoy running, but haven't done it for a couple of years.

    I have wanted to start again a few times, but I am so self conscious! I always think people are staring at me, or looking at my open mouth, or the sweat running down my temples, etc.

    All in all, it makes it a completely awful experience for me.

    I have often thought of buying a treadmill, but they are very expensive (any one have experience of the cheaper, manual ones?).

    What would you guys suggest? I used to run around the park, but we don't live near there any more.

    We now live on the main road!

    I think you just have to get over it. People aren't looking at you as much as you think they are. I go out with no makeup and hair pulled back in a messy ponytail - who cares how I look, I'm out there to run my butt off. I never even considered being looked at. Why are you trying to hide from people seeing you exercise? Are the people looking at you running? Then you're already way ahead of them physically.

    Just be safe if it's on a main road, run against traffic so it's not at your back and take a cell phone/pepper spray for protection. Look for safe trails or paths near your home on mapmyrun.com - other people in your area surely run and might have logged some routes you can copy.
  • dawnkay1
    dawnkay1 Posts: 41
    Thanks guys. Some good running advice there.

    Loved the "crazy person running" comment!

    Perhaps I should try running in the early mornings. That is when I do most of my exercise.

    I have always been this hard on myself. I don't even like walking across a room by myself!
  • curvykim78
    curvykim78 Posts: 799 Member
    Craigslist has TONS of treadmills, some are cheap too! It's easier to run on a treadmill, because of weather, times, clothes, whatever. Its just more convenient. Don't worry about others, just do it for yourself!! Run inside or outside, just RUN. :)
  • Pisc2749
    Pisc2749 Posts: 61 Member
    Thanks guys. Some good running advice there.

    Loved the "crazy person running" comment!

    Perhaps I should try running in the early mornings. That is when I do most of my exercise.

    I have always been this hard on myself. I don't even like walking across a room by myself!

    You have stop thinking other people are better than you are - that's ridiculous. That is the core of being self conscious - you don't believe you are as good/attractive/smart,etc. as the next person. B.S.!

    I'm speaking from experience, I was painfully self conscious when I was younger, all the way up to my 30's. It's a paralyzing way to live - you miss out on SO much because you want to hide away. I regret feeling so badly about myself because there was NO reason to be that hard on myself. NONE! You have to stop worrying what other's think of you because they are NOT better than you are.
  • aswieser
    aswieser Posts: 19
    Craigslist or your local newspaper is a good place to pick up a "used" treadmill (I'm guessing they're for sale because they probably weren't actually used). We live in an area where it isn't safe to run or walk on the roads. We have very skinny roads with big logging trucks and such. I recently purchased my treadmill from Walmart. It is a Golds Gym basic one. I got it for around $300 but they have them cheaper now I think. I use it almost every morning and it's been great so far.
  • rejie1
    rejie1 Posts: 20 Member
    One of the things that I find helps me soo much? Is that I have found my music to listen to. Had gotten away from it raising children and worrying about bills, and jobs and just plain worrying. Then my husband bought me a little sansa to download music and I have been so free. Now my cell phone has a chip that I can download the music that I love to listen to. Just a suggestion.
  • lindaschultz45
    lindaschultz45 Posts: 60 Member
    I was the same way about going to the gym too when I first started. I know what I'm doing is good for me and the funny thing is there are folks there all different sizes and shape. I started going in the mornings before work at 4:00 a.m. in the mornings because I knew there wouldn't be a lot of people in there. Now I might go twice a day. Once in the morning and once in the afternoon. I don't care what people think and when I see someone or running, I just think yeah for them for doing something.

    The good thing is that there are treadmills and many machines at the gym and now I want people in there so I don't feel like I'm the only one fighting my way back to being healthly. :)
  • ktfitzgerald
    ktfitzgerald Posts: 369 Member
    When I see someone running - no matter what they look like, how sweaty they are, mouth open or closed - I am always simply impressed that they are out there doing it. Think of all the people out there like me that you could impress and inspire!
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
    Running outside is awesome, beats the dreadmill hands down!

    As for how you look, trust me, no one is paying attention to you or anyone else out there running. Just get out there and do it! :flowerforyou:
  • thinclo
    thinclo Posts: 164 Member
    You could always run at night if it affects you so much that you can't do it. However, running at night has its disadvantages (although I love to run at night).

    Is this a concern because of the way you judge others when you see them running? If so, why do you judge them? Is it because they are not motivating enough? Or something else? I'm not trying to be awful here; just trying to get to the root of why it affects you so deeply.

    Yes, people will see you. Will it affect your future job prospects, ability to feed and clothe yourself, raise your children, or go grocery shopping? Not likely! :tongue: If people register that you are there at all, their brain will probably say ,"Person running." Most of the time, their brains will also say,"Motivating." Focus on the POSITIVE aspects of it. Not only are you doing something for yourself, you might even serve as a motivator for someone else to get out and move.

    However, if you are out running when it's very hot or raining really hard or on a day when the air quality is very bad, person's brain might say "Crazy person running."

    Just go run for yourself if you want to. And maybe, just maybe, you'll positively affect someone else!

    lol that "crazy person running" thing about hot weather and rain is so true i am guilty of that thought! however as a wannabe runner and someone who takes great interest in other people who run outdoors i have nothing but repsect and admiration for people who have the confidence to do it. Go for it! im sure you will be fine :)
  • HelloSweetie4
    HelloSweetie4 Posts: 1,214 Member
    I live on a main road and I run on it. I don't let myself get bothered by the people driving by. I think about how often I actually noticed people running on the side of the road, I really don't pay attention to them, so I don't feel like people pay much attention to me.
  • tigerlily_82
    tigerlily_82 Posts: 41 Member
    If I go out it's before 5 am because there are less people out and about at that time :)
  • fittertanme
    fittertanme Posts: 259 Member
    hi there. if you enjoy running/jogging then do what you feel like doing and dont worry what others think its your body mind and soul and you are doing what you enjoy if they dont like it then they know what they can do. do you drive if so then drive to a park or long road then start from there but I would not give up if you like it do it
  • ddrumstic
    ddrumstic Posts: 15 Member
    I used to feel the same way but I just stopped thinking about it. Think about it this way, do you stare at people in the gym? No. Mostly likely, you don't. So, no one is looking at you. They are concentrating on how hard they are sweating!
  • MeMyCatsandI
    MeMyCatsandI Posts: 704 Member
    When I see someone running - no matter what they look like, how sweaty they are, mouth open or closed - I am always simply impressed that they are out there doing it. Think of all the people out there like me that you could impress and inspire!

    I agree with this, except I would add that I'm always a little EXTRA impressed with the runner when s/he is overweight (a little or a lot). Seeing them run shows they are trying to improve their health and improve their lives. I know it can be hard when you've got an inner voice telling you people are watching you and judging you, and to be honest some people will be, but just remember that you are doing it for you... not for them. And for every person judging you, there is one cheering you on with a "You GO girl!"

    PS: I don't KNOW that you are over-weight, but by your being here, I assume that to be the case.
  • xipow
    xipow Posts: 58
    People will look at you at the beginning and compare you to themselves etc. After seeing you a few times they will start admiring you for doing something hard, that they would like to have the courage to do. I believe that people who exercise are generally more highly thought of than those who don't.

    To be committed to getting fit you have to have enough motivation that you find solutions for all the problems that make your goal difficult. The desire to be healthy and confident must be so strong that it swallows the fear of what others think. In the battle to overcome ourselves, the strength of the motivation to succeed correlates to the likelihood of success. Good luck.
  • dawnkay1
    dawnkay1 Posts: 41
    hi there. if you enjoy running/jogging then do what you feel like doing and dont worry what others think its your body mind and soul and you are doing what you enjoy if they dont like it then they know what they can do. do you drive if so then drive to a park or long road then start from there but I would not give up if you like it do it

    What a brilliant suggestion! It seems so simple, but I never actually thought of it - duh! lol. That's me all over - paralysis by analysis!

    I live right near the Medway River. I will drive down their at 6am and then run alongside with the other early morning sports people.

    THANKS EVERYONE! You have all been a great help and made me feel a lot better. Now I need to gird up my motivation, and get on with it.
  • dawnkay1
    dawnkay1 Posts: 41
    Will definitely start going out early morning. Possibly work it into my current routine.
  • kimmianne89
    kimmianne89 Posts: 428 Member
    I am exactly the same, I also have a social phobia! so that makes it difficult.
    I usually drive to the fields (with my dogs) and run round the farmer fields where there is no body there. If there is someone walking their dog and you don't wanna go passed them you just turn off and go a different route hah. Plus most fields have slight hills and is a harder run so would be more effective :D
  • widetobride
    widetobride Posts: 47 Member
    Hi Dawn,

    am no expert- in fact, I am rubbish. However, I love jogging, and I now go every day. My ex used to try to train me, but it just made me really angry. I felt as though everybody was laughing at me! Then I got dogs. I had to walk them every morning before work. So at first I just walked them for half an hour and then came home. Eventually, I started putting tracksuit and trainers on, and running to a lampost, then walking to one. Now I jog very slowly, for five miles. My tips for making it more fun are:
    :flowerforyou: Get a dog, or borrow one. they are good company, love to run, and are very patient if you are rubbish.
    :flowerforyou: Get music you love. i listen to everything from New Kids, to Country, to Rock. I would recommend creating at least 5 play lists, so that you don't get bored. This distracts you from random people walking by.
    :flowerforyou: Use www.walkjogrun.net, to plan your routes. it is a fansatic site. you put in your route, and how long it took, and it tells you your speed, calories, how high the hills were- everything. It really encourages me to be faster next time. It also helps to find quiet roads, and avoid crowded areas.
    :flowerforyou: Don't worry about how you look. If it is safe, go at 0400hrs. I go really early because of my shifts, but it also feels less intimidating, because nobody sees me- even in my flourescent clothes.
    :flowerforyou: Don't expect miracles. Nobody is paying that much attention to you. They don't know if you have already done 1km or 30kms, so it doesn't matter if you are slow, or red faced, or breathless.
    :flowerforyou: On days when you cannot be bothered, or the embarassment gets to you, just put your running stuff on anyway, and go for a walk. Often, you will end up jogging anyway, but even if you don't, it will keep you in the habit of moving every day, rather than getting out of a good habit, and the longer you leave it, the harder it gets.

    Good luck and have fun xx