Why do I sabotage my own success?

mollyW2012 · May 2012

So, brief history: I lost about 45 pounds prior to having my first child. Gained that back when i was pregnant, but lost it shortly after delivery. Two years later, pregnant with twins, gained 65 pounds! Have lost about 40 of it, but still have about 25 to go. My twins are almost three now, and it seems like I am gaining and losing the same ten pounds over and over again. I do well, lose ten pounds, and then my mind talks me into easing up a bit, eating more sugar than I should, or something above my calorie range, and then before I blink, I have gained back those same ten pounds it took me three months to lose! Anyone else struggle with their own success and will power? If so, what helps you break through the cycle? I have tried Weight Watchers, clean eating, and now MFP.

GinnieC100 · May 2012

Wow, this could be my story except for the twins. Have the same problem. I feel great when I eat well and have my weight under control. Why don't I realize this???? I, like you, gain and lose the same weight over and over again. At my highest I feel terrible physically, emotionally and mentally. Wish I Knew the secret of keeping it off and losing more.

JessiJean · May 2012

I do the same thing! I will work really hard and loose 5 lbs then in 1 weekend I gain it all back. I have a real problem!

yarmiah · May 2012

Congratz on having your little ones! They do grow too fast!

I've struggled with body image and weight most of my adult life. I've done Atkins, Weight Watchers and many
other plans, but none with any long term success.

This time was different. My approach was to be patient and not fixate on the scale. I was doing this to
be a much healthier person, looking good on the outside would be a secondary benefit from that primary
goal. So even though in the first few weeks I didnt see or even feel a difference, I was happy knowing I was
doing my body good. Smaller portions, better food choices and regular exercise became a habit, not so
much a chore. I threw out a number of 150lb to shoot for, based on what most charts recommended for
my age and height, but was more concerned about how I felt about the person I saw in the mirror.

I will have the occasional stumble by making the wrong food choices, and it dosnt take long to realise the
mental struggles and guilt I feel afterwards was SO not worth it(let alone how those choices will affect my
progress). We are our own worst critic and often enemy too. Be patient and trust in the progress. Make
small sustainable changes you can live with and it WILL happen for you! You Can do this!

suemoony · May 2012

Hi, I just joined this afternoon because of this very reason!.
I think we are all the same, once we start that cycle it's hard to get out of it

(
I lost loads of weight going to the gym, felt great about myself and then put it all back on again with more on top. I think I'm on a self destruct cycle, it has to be linked with our brain chemicals I'm sure.
If we know we feel better slimer and healthier why do we keep doing this to ourselves?
It helps to have a goal reminder, like something on the fridge or a screensaver on your phone or computer really works wonders.
I think we have to learn to love & accept ourselves a little bit and treat ourselves as we do our loved ones, we are their most important person, we should be ours too.

)
Every time you feel like shoving that cake in or slobbing in front of the tv, force yourself to do the opposite, no matter how hard it is, one little step at a time.
Motivation is what gets us started, habit is what keeps us going, we need to make our healthier lifestyle a habit, like cleaning our teeth. I know I feel so disappointed when I look at my 17 yr old daughter slobbing in front of the tv, I wasn't a good enough example to her & wish I could have her back little to start again
I wish you successful blessings, Sue x

neanderthin · May 2012

Research shows that some people that lose weight bear new responsibilities that they may find very difficult to cope with for one reason or another. That's just one reason mind you, but I thought it was interesting. Appaently they were talking about a lifetime of being overweight.

mollyW2012 · May 2012

Congratz on having your little ones! They do grow too fast!

I've struggled with body image and weight most of my adult life. I've done Atkins, Weight Watchers and many
other plans, but none with any long term success.

This time was different. My approach was to be patient and not fixate on the scale. I was doing this to
be a much healthier person, looking good on the outside would be a secondary benefit from that primary
goal. So even though in the first few weeks I didnt see or even feel a difference, I was happy knowing I was
doing my body good. Smaller portions, better food choices and regular exercise became a habit, not so
much a chore. I threw out a number of 150lb to shoot for, based on what most charts recommended for
my age and height, but was more concerned about how I felt about the person I saw in the mirror.

I will have the occasional stumble by making the wrong food choices, and it dosnt take long to realise the
mental struggles and guilt I feel afterwards was SO not worth it(let alone how those choices will affect my
progress). We are our own worst critic and often enemy too. Be patient and trust in the progress. Make
small sustainable changes you can live with and it WILL happen for you! You Can do this!

This is also what one of my good friends chose to do, and it has worked for her. I am trying this approach very slowly, so I can make it a habit and a lifestyle. It's hard for sure, but I really appreciate your response. I agree with you completely.

Nailrep · May 2012

If this question could be answered, most of us wouldn't need MFP!!! LOL!! I do the same thing. Tired of yo-yo'ing. Just ready to make life changes. We will see! Good luck to you!

Fit_2013 · May 2012

Well I am the same, I have been here since December 2011 and have lost only 4 lbs, makes me want to cry but no the problem lies with me. I have got a new work book called dieting a dry drunk to help me. I need to restructure the way I think .

janeite1990 · May 2012

I have 3 year old twins, too. It is ROUGH!

I say, don't make any changes that you aren't willing to keep permanently. It will take longer, but it will stick. Unless you want to do WW forever (and I think lots of people do, so that's an option), don't do it.

For example, I will probably never buy white rice again. Brown rice all the way. I'll never put creamer in my coffee again. I slip and have a Coke now and then, but not 3-4 a day. I will keep a bottle of water with me at all times, so I don't have an excuse to drink pop.

Find things that you can really live with. Diet shouldn't be termporary.

yarmiah · May 2012

If this question could be answered, most of us wouldn't need MFP!!! LOL!! I do the same thing. Tired of yo-yo'ing. Just ready to make life changes. We will see! Good luck to you!

Exactly! If it were easy, everyone would be thin and fit! :laugh:

JenniferInNY · May 2012

I do this too. Personally, I find it helpful to weigh myself every morning, log the weight in MFP, and look at the trend line (the "Reports" tab) daily. This prevents me from deceiving myself that "oh, it was just a random pound." It's true that my weight fluctuates slightly from day to day and that it may not be meaningful. However, weighing myself daily and looking at the trend helps me see if the trend is creeping slowly but steadily upward, and helps stop the self-sabotage. It doesn't help me lose weight necessarily, but helps me not re-gain what I lost.

Why do I sabotage my own success?

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