I'm worried about my 10 yo nephew

iva001
iva001 Posts: 162
edited December 19 in Food and Nutrition
He is quickly becoming overweight. I don't live with him, and I don't control what he eats. I know how hard it is to lose weight so I want him to tackle it early. I also know how mean kids are and I don't want him teased in school. I wish I was more health conscious when I was younger, but I don't think anything could have made me care at 10.

Any suggestions on how I can get him interested in his health? I don't want to make him self-conscious or feel bad about himself. But watching him eat a family size bag of Cheese-sticks and a liter of OJ makes me cringe.

Replies

  • benflando
    benflando Posts: 193
    Find a fun activity to play like basketball or something so it won't feel like exercise. For the diet, make a big liter of crystal light drink and put it in the fridge. Don't try to force upon him a strict diet right away or he'll be turned off by it. Good luck
  • peacek
    peacek Posts: 211
    Get his parents involved! Ofcourse, don't offend them by saying it directly.
    But, make it his parents responsibility to watch out for him.
    You are a very good Aunt :smile:
  • kelsully
    kelsully Posts: 1,008 Member
    I am trying to find an appropriate way to manage this with my own kids. I think the ticket is to focus on healthy choices and eating more slowly to recognize actual hunger. Also I think a rule that water needs to be consumed between snacks is a good idea. We are pushing that as a way to keep them hydrated and not about eating...but often kids eat out of boredom, thirst, just because etc and don't pay mind to what they are consuming. If I ask my daughter to slow down, have a glass of water etc before going for a second serving or another snack often times she will end up consuming less unneeded volume. These are habits we all have to learn so I am really trying to instill them now (as of the last few days...before she had what seemed a hollow leg and could out eat the house and be a lanky kid)....I want to foster healthy attitudes and healthy habits. I think she is understanding.
  • Artemis726
    Artemis726 Posts: 587 Member
    Be an active role model in his life. :) Make 'playdates' at the park, invite him for dinner at your home, and lead by example.
  • TinaDay1114
    TinaDay1114 Posts: 1,328 Member
    Maybe invite him on outings with you that are fun and active. And then maybe eat healthy while you're out with him. Get him to talk about stuff, and maybe he'll open up to you (if kids are teasing him, how he feels about himself, etc.).

    I think you can only show him by example, and by spending time with him and making him feel loved. (Heck, even us parents do more with this approach than any punishing, yelling, cajoling or bribing.) In fact, 'cause your relationship with him can be more "friend" than disciplinarian, he might take it in more coming from you.

    And hey, maybe your brother / sister is a better approach (whichever one is his parent, and your direct sibling)...although that can be sticky, too.

    Good luck! He's lucky to have someone caring about him. :flowerforyou:
  • iva001
    iva001 Posts: 162
    Well my brother responds negatively when we tell him other things about his kids I have a strong feeling he will be offended. His mom her head seems to be in the clouds. They are busy working irregular non 9-5 jobs, so they have alot of food in the house so the kids can cook for themselves, like hotpockets, pizza bagels, all that kid food. And they grab a family bucket of chicken alot of the times rather than cook.

    And yes, I will be pan-frying tilapia and making turkey taco with bean salsa for his visits :) I think I will make it more about health vs. weight loss. I was so afraid I would make him feel bad about himself. My worry is once he isn't around me he will go back to eating his fun foods without a second thought. He is 10 after all.
  • iva001
    iva001 Posts: 162
    Thanks for all the good advice everyone. I'm gonna get him to talk to me, and tell him why fitness and nutrition is so important to me. Maybe buy him a book on it.
  • jamiem1102
    jamiem1102 Posts: 1,196 Member
    Like most people have said, at this point in his life, there's not much you can do to help him make smart decisions. That's his parents' job... to provide healthy options and steer him in the right direction. Is there no way for you to discuss your concerns with his parents? If not, because I know how sensitive a topic like that can be (my sister gets VERY defensive when it comes to her children - any form of advice or suggestion is NOT appreciated), then maybe just lead by example... and take him out on fun, adventurous, and healthy play dates. I would think boys would like hiking, sports (maybe skateboarding or basketball?), laser tag... that sort of thing. Then treat him to delicious and nutritious lunches. haha At least then he gets lots of exposure to fun and healthy activities. Good luck!
  • SuffolkSally
    SuffolkSally Posts: 964 Member
    I think talk to him as you would a friend, about why you're losing weight and eating more healthily, without making it about him - he might feel talked down to and rebellious if you're too direct, and you don't want to appear critical of his parents.

    Ask him about school and his classmates - does anyone get picked on? What about? Who's popular and why are they popular?

    Talk about any family members or family friends who have health problems related to their weight, not condemning them but being sad about what's happened to them and how easily it could have very different had they only made different choices when younger.

    See as much of him as possible, get him round for cooking and eating together at every opportunity, and really encourage any active interests he has. Being open and setting an example yourself are probably the best things you can do.
  • jdploki70
    jdploki70 Posts: 343
    My son has this pattern. He bulks up, a lot, like a good 10 to 15 lbs. Then, he grows. Like a weed. This happens about once every 3-6 months. He'll be pudgy, bordering on fat, and then he'll be anorexically thin and his pants will be too short. Unless he is packing on severe weight, like well outside the norm for his age, I wouldn't mention it at all. Because my wife, my mother in law, my sister in law, and myself are all dieting, my son thinks that, by proxy, he should be on a diet too. We had an incident where he refused to eat because he was getting "too fat". He really didn't get how dangerous this was until he fainted. It's a wake up call I wouldn't recommend to any parent.

    My advice, wait until he hits puberty, at least, before you even broach the subject with his parents. If you want to help, get him off his butt and active in something fun, like sports or the like. But talking to someone that young about possible weight problems should be done by a doctor if anyone.
  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
    Well my brother responds negatively when we tell him other things about his kids I have a strong feeling he will be offended. His mom her head seems to be in the clouds. They are busy working irregular non 9-5 jobs, so they have alot of food in the house so the kids can cook for themselves, like hotpockets, pizza bagels, all that kid food. And they grab a family bucket of chicken alot of the times rather than cook.

    And yes, I will be pan-frying tilapia and making turkey taco with bean salsa for his visits :) I think I will make it more about health vs. weight loss. I was so afraid I would make him feel bad about himself. My worry is once he isn't around me he will go back to eating his fun foods without a second thought. He is 10 after all.

    Teach him to cook. Pick some healthier kid-friendly alternative 'fun-food' and teach him how to make them. If you are lucky, they'll be freezable, so he can eat some right away & take some home for a meal with his parents.
  • annew1952
    annew1952 Posts: 77 Member
    Does he have wii? There are so many fitness games you could challenge him to. We have dance central for xbox and
    we play that against our sons and their girlfriends. However you wish to help would be nice.
  • iva001
    iva001 Posts: 162
    My son has this pattern. He bulks up, a lot, like a good 10 to 15 lbs. Then, he grows. Like a weed. This happens about once every 3-6 months. He'll be pudgy, bordering on fat, and then he'll be anorexically thin and his pants will be too short. Unless he is packing on severe weight, like well outside the norm for his age, I wouldn't mention it at all. Because my wife, my mother in law, my sister in law, and myself are all dieting, my son thinks that, by proxy, he should be on a diet too. We had an incident where he refused to eat because he was getting "too fat". He really didn't get how dangerous this was until he fainted. It's a wake up call I wouldn't recommend to any parent.

    My advice, wait until he hits puberty, at least, before you even broach the subject with his parents. If you want to help, get him off his butt and active in something fun, like sports or the like. But talking to someone that young about possible weight problems should be done by a doctor if anyone.

    Hmm I didn't think that maybe it would go away with puberty...cuz to me he is still my baby :love:
    I think I will get an age appropriate book on nutrition and go through it with him, take him grocery shopping and make a healthy meal together.
  • iva001
    iva001 Posts: 162
    Does he have wii? There are so many fitness games you could challenge him to. We have dance central for xbox and
    we play that against our sons and their girlfriends. However you wish to help would be nice.

    these kids have EVERYTHING, esp cuz their dad is a techie. And that's why they don't play outside.
  • zellagrrl
    zellagrrl Posts: 439
    Does he have wii? There are so many fitness games you could challenge him to. We have dance central for xbox and
    we play that against our sons and their girlfriends. However you wish to help would be nice.

    these kids have EVERYTHING, esp cuz their dad is a techie. And that's why they don't play outside.

    Get him Dance Central or another dancing game where you guys can "battle" each other online. That would be fun and you could have some set nights with him where you're both working out.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories