Isn't it ironic?

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PhenomeNae
PhenomeNae Posts: 130 Member
in Motivation and Support
So... I've been changing my life. I've been at this (this time) for over a month now, and physically I feel fantastic. I have color in my cheeks, tons more energy, and not to be too "TMI" but I'm very "regular". It's wonderful.

Here comes the irony... All of my old ways of thinking... my self perception, self image, feelings of worthlessness come creeping in. This is usually when I blow whatever I'm doing and eat emotionally. Now, if you're my friend, you'll see in my diary, that even on my "cheat" days, I don't go way over my calorie goal, if I go over at all. I make my decadent choices fit into my day the best I can. So, when I'm feeling all emotional and anxious, and I want to eat, I swing WAY the other way and I end up feeling sick at the thought of food. I feel like if I eat ANYTHING I'll end up out of control so, I go without. Now, if you were to look at my diary, you'll see that I DO eat, but only because I think long and hard about what I'm going to eat and I try to make good choices, but it takes me a lot longer than it normally would. I sort of have to psych myself up to eat. Pep talk myself. "You need to eat... you'll end up hurting yourself if you don't". Things like that. It helps that I don't really have anything in my house that would make me totally blow my new lifestyle (yes, lifestyle, this isn't a diet) but the emotion and worry is still there.

I guess what I'm asking, or wondering is.. Do any of you, that have a lot to lose, or that have lost a lot... do you feel the same way? Also... will these feelings ever go away? I hope so. I really do...

Now, I'm putting this out there in hopes I don't get too many trolls. But, if you feel you must, I'm prepared for the worst. Either way, thank you for reading this. <3:flowerforyou:

Replies

  • cheshirequeen
    cheshirequeen Posts: 1,324 Member
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    ive lost a total of 70 pounds, 50 gained from pregnancy plus 20 more pounds. i hate saying this, but it will never go away. sometimes i am just freaked out about food looking and seeing, oh crap, i ate this much and still have dinner left to eat, or theres days where im like, i have 1000 calories left and im just not hungry at all. dont force yourself to eat at all. thats not good.it doesnt happen even weekly, but theres usually something that triggers it, and if i get it in check thats what matters. it goes down, and by a lot, but i still get it, and ive maintained for over a year. feel free to add me. i love encouraging and helping others whenever i can. good luck.:flowerforyou:
  • val_140
    val_140 Posts: 75
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    I used to be just as you explained. I thought long and hard all day about what I would eat. I would rummage through my pantry and look up nutritional information on anything. I would delay eating so long that come 4:00pm I would have eaten a measly snack. I'm sure that did some hurt on me since I got stuck on like a 3 month or so plateau. I don't know when I stopped being that way, but I'm thinking it was when I started working and was away from home. Now I eat multiple times a day. But I keep it healthy. I hope the same happens for you cause that old habit I had is not healthy. Keep up your good work and push yourself past those believes and mentality. :)
  • alvinkunju
    alvinkunju Posts: 13
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    I do the same. I used to use food to deal with my emotions. But if it happens now. I just stay away from food. And it is ironic that I still feel worthless and ashamed even after losing a significant amount. But I just try and focus on the good things in life. I used to be depressed because of a few people. I can't get rid of them. But I just ignore them now and ignore the need to indulge in some unhealthy food. :(
    Just focus on the good things about life... eat. love. pray.
    Just don't make food your enemy or your friend. it's just fuel. :)
  • kimberlee247
    kimberlee247 Posts: 2
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    I feel like you do only i don't have the will power to stay in my calorie count on emotional days with seem to be very frequent. I am doing this on my own and don't have any kind of support, but i must say i think you're doing awesome, so if have an emotional day and go over or eat alitte junk i think thats fine, I have heard it will confuse your body and it will continue to lose. keep going don't give up. i think most of us feel the way you do from time to time.

    Kimberlee247
  • PhenomeNae
    PhenomeNae Posts: 130 Member
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    ive lost a total of 70 pounds, 50 gained from pregnancy plus 20 more pounds. i hate saying this, but it will never go away. sometimes i am just freaked out about food looking and seeing, oh crap, i ate this much and still have dinner left to eat, or theres days where im like, i have 1000 calories left and im just not hungry at all. dont force yourself to eat at all. thats not good.it doesnt happen even weekly, but theres usually something that triggers it, and if i get it in check thats what matters. it goes down, and by a lot, but i still get it, and ive maintained for over a year. feel free to add me. i love encouraging and helping others whenever i can. good luck.:flowerforyou:


    thanks so much for your input! i'm glad to know i'm not the only one out there... and i will add you <3

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