I give up...

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Thinsposa
Thinsposa Posts: 40 Member
in Chit-Chat
I'm fed up with my family, I try and get my mother motivated to work out and eat cleanly and she turns around, lies on the coach and channel surfs for hours on end (ice cream or lollies in hand). She's in denial about her weight and being surrounded by her and even my father at times is difficult. Next month I'm moving overseas and I want to help get them started but I don't even know where to begin. Please someone help!? What can I do?

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  • WhitneyAnnabelle
    WhitneyAnnabelle Posts: 724 Member
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    To be honest, they're only going to do what they want to do. You are the 'master of your own domain,' so to speak. You can't force them into behaviors they aren't willing to accept.
  • Thinsposa
    Thinsposa Posts: 40 Member
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    I know, it's just so frustrating. :frown:
    I hate the thought of coming back after a few months and them being even more miserable than when I left, but then again I hear what you're all saying. *Le sigh*.
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    Focus on yourself...you can't make them do what they are not motivated to do.
  • ConnieBruhn
    ConnieBruhn Posts: 4
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    Okay, if you were my daughter I'd say, sit me down and tell them how worried you are about their health. That your concern is you want them forever. You want to know that while you are gone, they are trying to do what they can to get healthy. That you are proud of them in many ways, you love them and whatever it would take to help them be motivated you will do it. If you are a daddy's girl, motivate him first. Tell them your reward to them will be calls after you are gone, or surprise them with a small reward that you can when you see them doing positive behavior. I know it's hard, our son did this with us. As we age, it just seems like we allow ourselves to get into a rut of comfort as a reward to our working days. Be bold. Just like they probably did in helping you make choices as you grew up. Family takes unity, love and rewarding each other. It's important to support them with honesty.
  • paxetamore
    paxetamore Posts: 399 Member
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    You can be there for your parents, cheering them on and offering support, when they decide to make lifestyle changes.

    Unfortunately, as you probably well know with your own weight less journey, there is no magic potion, just self-determination.

    Best wishes on your move ahead, and never give up on family!
  • Thinsposa
    Thinsposa Posts: 40 Member
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    This is great! Thanks!
  • jacqui1612
    jacqui1612 Posts: 128 Member
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    Focus on yourself. When they see or hear how happy you are, how much confidene you have gain in your new lifestyle they may want to follow your lead and make a change for themselves. Other than that, there really isn't much you can do that you probably haven't already done.
  • NeverGivesUp
    NeverGivesUp Posts: 960 Member
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    I have noticed that health is contagious. My mom finally joined, my husband has gotten in shape, his father and brother too. It is spreading like a virus. Do what you need to do for yourself and everyone will be inspired and will want some of that for themselves. Maybe not now, but eventually. Be patient, it will come. They have to be ready to make a change and you cannot make them ready, only they can do that.
  • GinaMauricio17
    GinaMauricio17 Posts: 69 Member
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    try taking them to a doctor or a meeting about being healthy. but there wont be anything you can do if they just dont want to

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