Help me--why isn't enough enough?

aklitten
aklitten Posts: 237 Member
edited December 19 in Motivation and Support
I just ate an entire bag of stupid Oreos. I have been having binge attacks for the past few days. As a struggling binge eater who has done so well on this weight loss journey since November, I feel myself slipping....slipping into habits that got me to my highest weight when I was in college. My body is physically reacting to this distorted eating--my ankles are swelling, my body feels bloated and gross. And here I am, pouring my soul to perfect strangers. Sometimes that's easier than telling the ones you love. I want so desperately to be strong and fit but seem to be self-sabotaging...where do I go from here? Do I finally admit that I have not conquered my problems? Do I tell my GP (with whom I have an appointment in a week) that I feel stress is overtaking me and I fear depression?

Replies

  • kkmarie11
    kkmarie11 Posts: 114
    try your best to avoid binges but NEVER get down on yourself for binging its just one bad time try and move forward and learn from it don't get down on yourself or it will happen again. The best way to avoid binges is just don't by junk food and just try your best to just have fruits and veggies in the house out of sight out of mind so just dont even buy the junk. and remember its just one slip dont let it interfere with your overall weight loss you can do it you've already lost 15 pounds your doing great!
  • RLDeShazo
    RLDeShazo Posts: 356 Member
    There isn't anything you can do about it now. But you can try to head it off next time. What triggers your binges? For me, I am an emotional eater (as well as a bored eater). I am only 2 weeks in, so I'm not too far removed from by binging ways and gave in to it a few days in. On Wednesday, I was having a very emotional day, and was so wanting to eat something I was practically shaking. Instead, I removed myself from any food and hit the gym as soon as I could. Coincidently, it was my best and hardest workout to date.

    Find your trigger. Learn to anticipate it, and remove yourself from tempation. Go for a walk. And get rid of all the junk and don't bring it back in the house.
  • Treece68
    Treece68 Posts: 780 Member
    I have this problem myself and I have no answer. When I feel a binge coming on I destroy what I want to eat like the Oreo's if putting them away isn't enough poor them in the sink run water over them and smash them up.
    Do we ever conquer our problems. Or is it when we feel better about ourselves its easier to deal with them. And when we are having a bad day they come back to us 10 fold. I am having a bad day too I'm upset about something and so I keep going in for Texas sheet cake someone bought for treat day. I don't even like the stuff but it's chocolate and my crazy brain says eat it, eat it. I don't know what a GP is but if they help you out with things like this I would tell them. I don't know if this helps but at least you know you are not alone.
  • PANZERIA
    PANZERIA Posts: 471 Member
    There isn't anything you can do about it now. But you can try to head it off next time. What triggers your binges? For me, I am an emotional eater (as well as a bored eater). I am only 2 weeks in, so I'm not too far removed from by binging ways and gave in to it a few days in. On Wednesday, I was having a very emotional day, and was so wanting to eat something I was practically shaking. Instead, I removed myself from any food and hit the gym as soon as I could. Coincidently, it was my best and hardest workout to date.

    Find your trigger. Learn to anticipate it, and remove yourself from tempation. Go for a walk. And get rid of all the junk and don't bring it back in the house.

    This.

    And when it comes to triggers, think about everything and anything that is going on in your life right now. What is pushing you over the edge?

    My trigger was my family, and my binges became so bad that I got desperate and started purging. It became a TERRIBLE cycle and now, ten years later, I'm still fighting it.

    Throw everything that is bad out of your kitchen..and then relax. =) Weight can be lost. It's not the end of the world (even though I can totally understand why you feel it is). Take a day to relax and just eat normally. Don't take all of the fats or carbs out of your diet because you'll just end up craving them and binging again.

    Also, listen to your body. If you're craving sweets, have an apple or a banana. I know it sounds silly and it's completely NOT what you want, but trust me - eventually you'll just grab them without even thinking.

    Hun, I've been there. It's a tough battle, but you can definitely do it! Just take it one day at a time.
  • runfatmanrun
    runfatmanrun Posts: 1,090 Member
    try your best to avoid binges but NEVER get down on yourself for binging its just one bad time try and move forward and learn from it don't get down on yourself or it will happen again. The best way to avoid binges is just don't by junk food and just try your best to just have fruits and veggies in the house out of sight out of mind so just dont even buy the junk. and remember its just one slip dont let it interfere with your overall weight loss you can do it you've already lost 15 pounds your doing great!

    This. Don't bring junk into your house if you binge eat.
  • hiker282
    hiker282 Posts: 983 Member
    I think you'll need to really dig and find out why you're binging before you can stop it. Don't focus on the fact that you're binging, but the why behind it. It's the only way to stop; find the source and fix it.
  • SnazzyTraveller
    SnazzyTraveller Posts: 457 Member
    i feel the same. i havent seen a professional and been diagnosed as a binge eater, and maybe im not, but i do eat large amounts of crap in small periods of time. at the time i feel almost out of control but almost like "ehhh what the heck" but then five mins later im banging my head against the wall. it drives me crazy. i do so well as far as exercise and meal portions go and snacking is the thing i need to work on. mindlessly eating is what i need to chnage completely.

    something i was told that really makes sense to me is concentrate on how you are feeling when u eat. if you are feeling like "erg why do i always do this, stupid oreos are always bringing me down" imagine all that negative energy entering you body with the food you are eating. but if you are really enjoying your food, thinking "wow this is totally just what i needed... this is my favourite treat ever" then you will have postive energy. i think of this now even when im eating veggies and anything else now. if im pissed off that the dog is barking i'll deal with him then return to my food. its just not worth feeling bummed out when you are fueling your body!

    the other day i ate a box of girl guide cookies, peanut butter m&ms and mini snickers bars. ive been at this since october too and i cant believe i keep letting myself down. but i guess theres only one way to turn it around...
  • DonnaCW
    DonnaCW Posts: 24 Member
    Don't beat yourself up if you have a bad day. Just get back on track the next day. It's okay, you are human. Make sure you eat all your daily totals. If you don't , your body will go into starvation mode and hang onto your calories instead of burning them. Also, when you don't eat enough, your body thinks its starving, so it encourages binge eating. I have the same problem with sweets. I had 24 pieces of Spree candy today, but I had to satisfy the craving! Keep the junk food out of the house, you can't eat it if its not there! Good Luck!
  • jillthemom
    jillthemom Posts: 31 Member
    I do three things to avoid this.....first and foremost, keep that stuff out if the house! Second, for those situations where the food is there beyond your control, I mentally picture how I will feel mentally and physically if I give in. Usually, that is enough to avoid it. Third, there are some foods that I just cannot have one bite of and have the self control to avoid going crazy. With those foods, I seriously just avoid even one bite...its not worth it.
  • wingednotes
    wingednotes Posts: 274 Member
    I suffer from compulsive eating. I haven't figured out how to head off the binge yet. I know that having some momentum helps me (lots of binge free days.) But once that tickle is in my head, its very hard to ignore.
    My advice is for afterwards - for now. You are back, you are logging, you are doing what you are supposed to do NOW. So repeat the mantra, Fall 6 times, Get up 7. Then get up and move on.
    Not easy stuff, this food addiction. You are not alone.
  • skinnylove00
    skinnylove00 Posts: 662 Member
    i really want you to bridge the gap between your body and your mind because when you binge there is evidence that there is some sort of disconnect between the two. i am a binge eater myself...for me binge eating (talking like, a garbage bag of empty food containers) is much like a drug....i do it to feel numb. or i do it to try and feel SOMEthing. emotionally i suppose there is a hole that i know no amount of food will ever fill. living with binge eating disorder feels like masochism and its like you have a screaming toddler inside you demanding that you eat everything. its compulsion.

    my recommendation for you is to talk to someone you trust. firstly you need to practice forgiveness and self love. do you find yourself berating yourself after you binge? if yes, chances are more than likely you`ll binge again. i strongly recommend practicing yoga or taking yoga classes will help you connect your mind and body, since yoga incorporates the two. also, coloring really helps. when i feel the urge to binge when i am not hungry, i take out my crayons and coloring book and i color. its ABSURD how relaxing it is and focusing on finishing the page occupies my hands and my mind from wanting to binge eat. writing/journaling, walking outside and getting fresh air helps also.

    when you go to the kitchen make sure you have an exact plan of what you are going to eat and dont leave the kitchen with something different on your plate. when you sit down to eat (ideally, try not to eat in the kitchen), make sure there arent any distractions, and eat your food slowly concentrating on the way your thoughts change as youre eating. if you feel your mind become overly eager and your thoughts starting to race, put your fork down and take a sip of water. its important to be MINDFUL and PRESENT while you eat and attentive to the changes in your thoughts and body because you can save yourself from gorging on extra calories.

    you are 100% not alone, and you dont have to face this on your own. you have the support of those around you, the mfp community, and hopefully trusted professionals to help guide and support you as you deal and eventually conquer this issue. just forgive yourself for those oreos and remember that failure isnt fatal; it is the courage to continue which is what counts :flowerforyou:

    wish you the very and ultimate best life,
    -naomi
  • Melampus
    Melampus Posts: 95 Member
    Certainly don't give up. I think you need to know why you eating.

    Is it because dieting is making you feel hungry? If so check that you are not short of nutrients. As an example f you don't eat enough protein you are likely to feel hungry. However many calories you eat. If dieting is making you feel lethargic are you overdoing it? Obviously the idea is to create a calorie deficit to make your body use fat but if the deficit is too big your body goes into starvation mode and your metabolism slows down making weight loss very hard.

    Or are you eating for some reason other than hunger? Boredom? Stress? If there is something like this going on then you need to get yo the bottom of that.
  • wackyfunster
    wackyfunster Posts: 944 Member
    You may want to consider seeing a counselor or Psychiatrist. You sound like you may need someone to help you find less destructive strategies for dealing with whatever you are attempting to solve with your binges.
  • I keep my house junk free as well. If it is there I will eat it! Also, I allow for 1 day a week of eating anything I want, this helps me behave the rest of the week. If I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can hold off. Plus, giving myself permission makes it guilt free. I worked for it, I enjoy it, I stop at 1 day. By the end of the splurge, I am so ready to get back on track.
  • myfitnessval
    myfitnessval Posts: 687 Member
    I think you'll need to really dig and find out why you're binging before you can stop it. Don't focus on the fact that you're binging, but the why behind it. It's the only way to stop; find the source and fix it.

    this SO much. also removing yourself from the situation helps. for me i binge when i get lazy so i try to keep easy healthy foods in the apartment like cheese sticks or fruit cups that i can grab when i'm feeling lazy and hungry. it helps for me but definitely find out whats triggering this binging and try to heal and move on from it. its the only way you'll ever overcome it. <3 good luck.
  • danam82
    danam82 Posts: 30
    Talk to your doctor. Or a counselor, or someone you trust. If you're stressing, holding it in will only make things worse. And don't be so hard on yourself. We all mess up. I know it's easier said than done, but you have to forgive yourself and keep going. You can do it! :heart:
  • aklitten
    aklitten Posts: 237 Member
    Thanks for everyone's thoughts. I thought I had kicked this but my recent past shows me I haven't. Despite a binge hangover and general physical discomfort, I am feeling better today. PMS emotions, fatigue and stress all lead me down this path, but only some serious soul-searching will help me get past it. I have come to learn so much from friends and strangers alike on this site...I really do heart MFP!
  • Tickateeboo
    Tickateeboo Posts: 132 Member
    I find that if it's in the house, I'll get round to eating it eventually - make your home a binge-free zone!
  • aklitten
    aklitten Posts: 237 Member
    The worst part (or perhaps the best?) of yesterday's binge is that it happened in the car. I certainly know all that I *should* do-ask myself why I am bingeing and what feelings I have, remove myself from the food, not buy it in the first place. Fatigue, stress and PMS all sent me down this path. And now I am feeling the physical ramifications of yesterday's bad choices. Hard to forget when your body doesn't even feel like your own. But I ordered some new clothes right before this episode and they don't fit. That makes me upset, but ready to turn this around. I can't let my hard work up to now just go to waste....so many people have told me that I look great. That should be motivation to stop, right? I can do this right? I must tell myself that I can do this, that I can have the body I want. It's no longer a wish, it's a need. Only I can change this....and I have to!
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