Where is the support when it's needed?

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NoMoreAt3
NoMoreAt3 Posts: 34
in Health and Weight Loss
Topic: anyone else?
clutter

Anyone else actually trying to gain a tad and then maintain?
NoMoreAt3

Hi clutter and Welcome!
Most of the people on here are trying to lose weight, but I am sure there are a few who are just like you. This site is excellent for either, wether you need to lose a few OR gain a few. Best of luck and keep working hard at it! : )
cmriverside

yeah, eat for us.
cardgrl

I wish I had to "gain a few".... Geesh! Good luck anyhow! We are here for you regardless! :noway:
NoMoreAt3

I came back to check this post only because it was interesting to me...I have a cousin who is also underweight (due in part, to a medical condition) and it surprises me to see the responses your post has gotton so far. Odd, that should a person lose 5 or 10 pounds, replies flourish with congratulations and support, but there's not any of that here....I wonder why not? Am I mistaken that this site is about being healthy and fit? Granted, its unusual to have a post such as this, but should it be treated this way? I talked at length with my cousin one day, and was interested to find out that she "wished" for some of the exact same things I do...she wished she could climb a flight of stairs and not get winded, she wished she could play for a long time with her son outside, and not get tired. She can't do those things because she is too skinny, and UNHEALTHY. I can't do those things because I am too fat, and UNHEALTHY. I think the basis of this site IS to be fit and healthy, regardless if your starting point is too large, or too small. I hope you are getting the kind of support you need, clutter, and I for one am willing to listen, er, read whatever it is you need to say (type). You have my support and very best wishes.

Replies

  • NoMoreAt3
    NoMoreAt3 Posts: 34
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    Topic: anyone else?
    clutter

    Anyone else actually trying to gain a tad and then maintain?
    NoMoreAt3

    Hi clutter and Welcome!
    Most of the people on here are trying to lose weight, but I am sure there are a few who are just like you. This site is excellent for either, wether you need to lose a few OR gain a few. Best of luck and keep working hard at it! : )
    cmriverside

    yeah, eat for us.
    cardgrl

    I wish I had to "gain a few".... Geesh! Good luck anyhow! We are here for you regardless! :noway:
    NoMoreAt3

    I came back to check this post only because it was interesting to me...I have a cousin who is also underweight (due in part, to a medical condition) and it surprises me to see the responses your post has gotton so far. Odd, that should a person lose 5 or 10 pounds, replies flourish with congratulations and support, but there's not any of that here....I wonder why not? Am I mistaken that this site is about being healthy and fit? Granted, its unusual to have a post such as this, but should it be treated this way? I talked at length with my cousin one day, and was interested to find out that she "wished" for some of the exact same things I do...she wished she could climb a flight of stairs and not get winded, she wished she could play for a long time with her son outside, and not get tired. She can't do those things because she is too skinny, and UNHEALTHY. I can't do those things because I am too fat, and UNHEALTHY. I think the basis of this site IS to be fit and healthy, regardless if your starting point is too large, or too small. I hope you are getting the kind of support you need, clutter, and I for one am willing to listen, er, read whatever it is you need to say (type). You have my support and very best wishes.
  • tdroseler
    tdroseler Posts: 165
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    I have read and reread this message many times. At this point i am probly half of the 11 viewers.

    Clutter: it must be incredibly difficult for you to find the support you need. Speaking only for myself...i don't have a clue what to say. For some reason there is a "blockage" that prevents me from giving you advice.
    Oh sure, i know how to gain weight...wouldn't be this heavy if i didn't...but that doesn't mean i could tell you how to gain weight in a healthy manner.
    I do think you are brave and courageous to see you have a difficulty and you want to get better...in that respect, yes we are all here for one another.
    For one thing, we are all fooled into believing that someone slender, is healthy and fit...truely an illusion. What is also an illusion is that eating right and exercising is exclusive for getting and staying healthy...for an overweight person.
    My mother was all of 80lbs...soaking wet in a leather suit...she fought to be healthy from the same perspective as you. It probly took me till i was 30 to realize how she struggled...just as much as i did to not be the weight i am.
    The emotioins are likely the same...the dymanics of it all. But where we differ is in the physical. While we, larger people are trying to train ourselves to choose better foods and smaller amounts...you need to eat more and perhaps even foods we restrict ourselves on.
    In that respect i think the mentality of it all changes. Not that it makes it right...it just is.
    I do hope that clutter is still around, and using this web site to his/her advantage. I think that like all of us here, that is the main purpose.
    I would suggest that advice come from a dietician or nutritionalist. Only becasue to those of us wanting to loose weight...this is something we may not be able to advise on.
    As for Support...i for one will respond to any threads i see the name attached to because we all need someone that can listen...you are right there, NoMore...and as someone struggling with thier weight...they are not alone.
  • finkkm
    finkkm Posts: 27 Member
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    Load up on nuts, they are full of fats, but are still healthy, and offer a lot of protein so that you can gain or maintain muscle! :) Good luck!
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 33,979 Member
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    I am clueless on gaining weight in a healthy way. Let us know how you are doing, clutter. How about meal supplements drinks, where you get a balanced vitamin & mineral boost....

    ~cm :frown:
  • banks1850
    banks1850 Posts: 3,475 Member
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    Finally, something I know something about. :)

    NoMoreAt3, for some reason I missed this post until now. I truely understand this problem
    as in high school I was 6 foot 1 inch and all of 160 lbs, and weighing in at a scary, 2% body
    fat (which is borderline dangerous). My trainer in football would scream at me to eat. Finally in college I learned how.

    There are some simple things you can do to increase weight in a healthy way, it's tricky though, eating when you aren't hungry can become a habbit, fine when your body is thin and starving for fuel, but if your metabolism slows down, you can balloon up easilly, you must keep track of this behavior and be consious of when you approach your goal or you can easilly overshoot it.

    1st, eat more protien, find out what someone your size and age and sex should be eating for protien and add 25% to that, spread it out throughout the day. Forget the carbs, they will add fat, add protien, and your caloric intake must be higher then your output.

    This can be done easilly using the site. Add the extra protien to your diet, add enough calories to be over your daily intake by 200 to 400 calories a day. It's a slow burn gaining weight, I will state this now and forever DON'T TRY TO GAIN TO QUICKLY!!! It should take you 6 months to put on 15 - 20 lbs. Any faster and your body doesn't react well to the weight, give your heart and major muscle groups time to figure out how your new body works. Also make sure you do some (light) weight training exercises, I would keep the cardio to a minimum (you can do it, just remember, it burns a lot of calories, just try to do enough to maintain fitness, say 2 times a week). The idea is to build muscle, follow this plan and you will have gained 10 lbs of muscle in 6 months. Making you stronger, faster, and look healthier.
  • julieofthewolves
    julieofthewolves Posts: 339 Member
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    Hi Clutter -
    I can only remember what it was like to be in my late teens and early twenties when people used to think I was anorexic - which I certainly wasn't, just could not gain weight. It did bother me quite a bit, especially the crap I got from my family, who are all a lot larger than I am. That weight situation went away into my late 30's and now the 40's.

    I also have two very close friends that have the same issue and they tire of the questions about whether they have an eating disorder, about the looks they get because they are so skinny and no one thinks its an issue. One of them had a baby two years ago and it was a seriously scary situation because everyone worried about the baby getting enough nutrition.

    Your situation is different than many of ours, but it is still about the same thing - this is about being healthy and comfortable in our own skin.

    I never saw this thread until today. Please stay with us and I know we will be here for you. Hugs, Juile
  • Eve23
    Eve23 Posts: 2,352 Member
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    My brother in law after getting sick began to have this problem. Finding out he had Graves disease. It speeds your thyroid up and you lose a lot of weight. Make sure you don't have a similiar problem. I know that he was drinking several protein shakes per day as well as eating large heavy meals.

    I am at the opposite side of the spectrum and not at all sure what to tell you.

    Good Luck:flowerforyou:
  • tdroseler
    tdroseler Posts: 165
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    It is really good to see other people leaving messages with this thread....
  • denmother46
    denmother46 Posts: 272 Member
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    My mother had this issue for most of her life. She was 5' 5" and was lucky to weigh 95 lbs - and that was after having 4 kids!! Unfortunately all of us kids took after my dads side of the family. I remember playing dress up in a cocktail dress that my mom had from when she was 6 months pregnant with my younger sister - I couldnt zip it up - and I was 10 years old.

    My mom had no medical problems whatsoever. Doctors would go crazy trying to find something wrong, but never did. She just never gained weight. She would eat and drink all these protein shakes and bars and rarely gained.I think most of us wish we had this problem, but she was constantly being asked if she was sick ( by total strangers) and had a really difficult time buying clothes that fit. She had to have most of her shoes custom made because her feet were so thin (AAAA).
  • NoMoreAt3
    NoMoreAt3 Posts: 34
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    WOW....I KNEW I was right about this site! It seems like the over abundance of support and concern is the REAL THING here! I so, so, so hope clutter sees this thread....
    I am so blessed to have found this site! Gee whiz, I am reading through these replies and I actually feel a little teary! The wonderful response has been such a boost to me, and hopefully to clutter too. Clutter, please know this....I have been on several "weight support" sites, some good, some very off the mark. THIS SITE IS THE REAL DEAL!! The people on here are 100% real, and 100% willing to help. Thanks for all the great advice guys! Especially to you Banks...that is obviously expert advice from someone whos been there. Well, so long and Happy Holloween!
  • sturge161
    sturge161 Posts: 37 Member
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    My husband is 5'9 130lbs and he gets the anorexic talk every time he goes to the doctor. He eats a lot but it is just in his genes. Keep trying and in the meantime stay healthy which is the most important thing.
  • Loretta_Jo
    Loretta_Jo Posts: 609 Member
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    I can tell you how to gain weight the unhealthy way but that is not the thing you want to do. It sounds to me like banks has got his finger on the best way to gain healthy weight.
    I come from a family of big people. We have never had anyone that needed to gain weight. Not only were they big they were tall. I am 5’7” tall and I'm the short one of the family. My mother flat footed stood 6 foot tall.
    I did go to school with a girl that wanted to gain really badly. I also knew a girl in school that would stand there and eat candy bar after candy bar every day and never gain an ounce. Me on the other hand I would gain just watching her it seemed.
    I hope you can gain the healthy weight you want and need to.
    Good luck we are here for you.
    Loretta

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