Just need an ear.

You look like my little cousin and I think she's beautiful, I actually had to look at your profile before I was sure that you are not her because you are the same age as her and look like her twin! Don't hate yourself, you're gorgeous!

As hard and scary as it may be you NEED to sit with your mom or someone else your trust that can help you and tell them what is going on and that you need help. I looked online and there is a program called S.A.F.E. alternatives for people who self injury. You and your mom or the other person should check it out. The first step is admitting you have a problem. The next step is getting help. I hope this information helps you.

Contact
S.A.F.E. ALTERNATIVES®
Phone: 800-DONTCUT®
800-366-8288
Fax: 888-296-7988
Email: info@selfinjury.com
Web: www.selfinjury.com

I have been where you are. I wasn't a "whiny teenager" at the time - I was in my mid 20's and in grad school - so I don't think you're being a whiny teenager at all. What you're feeling can happen to anyone - it sucks, but it's legitimate, and you need to do something to deal with it.

Seriously consider talking to a therapist - there are many who specialize in young adult stress issues, or even women's stress issues. When I was going through this, I found one through my college's psych services. Calling to make that initial appointment was one of the scariest, most difficult things I ever did in my life (I cried like an idiot on the phone and my hands were shaking so badly), but it was one of the *best* decisions of my life. In the end, I spent a year in talk therapy - one session per week, no drugs prescribed or any of that - with a "generalized anxiety disorder" diagnosis (for what it's worth, I used to cut occasionally, but mostly I suffered from panic attacks related to work/school, and I would have times when nothing was really "wrong" and I would randomly just start crying because I was so generally stressed out; I wasn't eating right, and I wasn't sleeping well, and all of that together made me feel generally "on edge")...but TALKING to somebody neutral who could help me figure out why certain things in my life were causing me so much stress was incredible and lifted such a weight off my shoulders.

A lot of people stigmatize mental healthcare, but clearly you are dealing with things that are difficult and stressful, and you shouldn't have to go through that by yourself. At the very least, having somebody outside of your family and friends who you can talk to might be very liberating and help you figure out what YOU need to be the happiest, healthiest person you can be. A professional therapist might be the best way to go, because they are *really* well-qualified to deal with the type of stress you're under. That first step is really tough, but if you choose to look for professional help, I think you'll see that it's incredibly worthwhile.

If you have questions about what therapy is like, feel free to shoot me a message. The idea of therapy may sound scary, but when I was going I actually looked forward to my sessions every week - the young woman who was my therapist was awesome and really easy to talk to. So, again, the first step is the hardest, but if you can make it past that it really does get better.

:flowerforyou:

Being a teenager is the hardest thing ever. I didn't cut (but I was close) but I battled untreated depression for years as a teen. I didn't like myself or anyone around me. I felt utterly alone. I was expected to be the perfect daughter and the perfect student and I knew I didn't measure up.
It does get better. It really does. College was a little better. If nothing else the hormones started to level off and I didn't feel quite so out of control of myself. I got more control over my life.
It keeps getting better. You can be comfortable in your own skin. I now have a husband I love, my dogs, a good job. It didn't happen overnight. I've been in therapy. I've had to learn that it's okay to ask for help. It's still hard sometimes. A good counselor made a huge difference for me.
I just wish someone would have told the teenage me that life does get better. So I'm telling you, life does get better.

I can't offer any words of advice unfortunately because I haven't solved my problems yet...but I am doing the same things to myself
I hate myself because I'm 23 and everyone I know is getting married, buying houses and living fantastic lives....and I live with my sister in an apartment my parents pay for...
I feel like an epic loser and I don't know why I feel this way about myself but you're not alone

The reason I say this to you is because I was the same. Focusing so much on what others had that I didnt and getting depressed over it. A friend pointed out that I was wasting time agonising over what I didnt have and not appreciating what I did have. I felt so sad that I was taking what I DID have for granted. Friends, family, a roof over my head, food in my tummy, a job.......so much to be grateful for

I dont understand cutting but I just wanted to say youre beautiful and have so much to look forward to. Life is so different after high school, its like a fresh start in life but more on your terms. You can do anything you want...go to school, persue your dreams, work hard....I promise its worth it. Your family loves you and want to help you...dont shut them out. Best of luck to you, hun.

It sounds to me like depression, I struggled with depression when I was like 16 years old, and I was a cutter too. Now, almost 8 years later, I deeply regret that, I have scars in my arms that had never erased and it looks horrible.

From my personal experience, I seriosly recommend you to go to a shrink, if you do have depression the doctor will give you meds, and really, take them. I was so unhappy for so long, waiting for it to go away by itself, and after taking the meds that the shrink gave me, within 2 months, I felt like myself again! the old me that was happy and enjoying activities again and stuff, and I just regret waiting for so long to asked for help, I waited almost a year, and I could have come back to the normal me much earlier!! I wasted too much time.

Really, seek professional help and give it a try. And for the love of God, don't cut yourself anymore, for the moment at least, find another escape, I would love to come back in time and never done that, to have arms without ugly scars, or just avoid the questions when somebody sees them, I don't have issues talking about it, but it is quite annoying, you know, explaining it.

Hope you take my advice, seek help with a professional. A psycologist or a shrink.

I'm 18 years old. I'm graduating in a week. Things are moving very quickly and changing a lot... more than I thought was possible. I'm okay with all of that, that isn't the issue.. I need to speak up, and I need a little support. I hope this is okay to say.

I've been a self harming for seven months. I hate myself. I am the world's ugliest, stupidest, most moronic fool and I can't stand to live in my body. I'm not fishing for compliments, I just really want to disappear. I've felt like this for the past year and a half, and waiting for it to let up isn't really very effective. I spoke to a counselor at my high school, who kind of just waved it off and told me I'd be fine if I just smiled more. I want to be happy, I want to be glad I'm alive and feel good about life. What happened to me? This isn't me.

I came to this site in January when I decided I'd rather run than cut, and I wanted to change my outlook; I got so sick of hating myself. It worked for a little while... the distraction was nice. But I feel like I'm losing it. I'm so sorry to rant to all of you and whine about my stupid teenage problems, but I'm begging for support. This community is so helpful and uplifting, I just want to be a part of it. I'm sorry if this post bothers anyone, it wasn't my intention to be offensive.

You are a bright young woman with a great future. But you need to get beyond this. You tried to talk to your counselor and they blew it off? That is wild but I won't speak to that at this point. You NEED TO TALK TO SOMEBODY AND THE SOONER THE BETTER... Talk to your doctor, a counselor, a parent... somebody you trust... If they don't take you seriously... talk to somebody else until they do take you seriously. This behavior is very dangerous and damaging. You have too much going for you in life to let this cut you short. You can get through it but you need some help with it. We are limited by distance to help you the way you need it... (No, I am NOT BY ANY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION saying that you are inferior mentally... Some VERY INTELLIGENT and brilliant people go through this sort of thing and they get through it.. but they get somebody who is knowledgeable in how to help them through it... Please, see somebody today, in the morning... as soon as you can. Be brave. Your life will be better for it....

I didn't go through with it. Things aren't really improving and it hurts and it's hard and I'm too scared to speak up. I'm doing the best I can. I'm sorry to be so whiny.

Good idea, I'm a high school guidance counselor and smiling more wont cut it, I've had a lot of cutters this year and I've got all of them into counseling and I check in on them often. they all seem to be doing a lot better. one of them has even used this site to draw strength and has used it to take control of their health be cause that helps a lot. but counseling can definatly be a good thing if it is effective. good luck

This is not just some stupid high school problem. This is soething grown men and women deal with. First I want to say go you for even admitting it. You want help. You need to find a real counselor who won't dismiss your valid feelings. I hope you find the right fit for you. You are worth it, you may not know it or feel it now but one day you'll find out how great you truly are.

First off, I am sending you a huge hug because that it was I would do if you were here with me. You're the same age as my daughter, and you've really hit me in my heart.
My daughter was also a cutter when she was 15/16. It was such a hard time for her - we had just moved, she didn't feel like fit in; she hadn't found anything that brought her joy; and she was angry. And she couldn't put her emotions into words...it was literally eating her up inside.
She finally reached out to us one night - and as hard as it was to hear, it opened up the door for her to get better. She just had to take that first step.
18 is a hard age. Society tells you that at 18 you should have life pretty much figured out - but sweetie, that is so far from the truth. At 18, you are just starting to figure out who you are as a person and what you stand for. This should be a time of self discovery, and for you to be a little bit selfish, if you want the truth. One chapter (school) is ending, and the next one is wide open. You will be making decisions that will really impact your future - and that is very scary! But here is a bit of wisdom that I learned...no matter what decisions that I made as a young adult - whether they were great or horrible - whether they were phenomenal successes or dismal failures - none of those decisions did anything but teach me life lessons that made me stronger, and made me the woman that I am today. And it's fine and perfectly OK to take your time to figure things out.
I am so thankful that my daughter opened up to me, and trusted me enough to tell me what was going on with her; and I am so proud of the young woman that she has become. We spend many late nights sitting on my bed talking about her hopes and fears, and some nights I just listen, and others I tell her what my experiences were.
Just from reading your posts, you seem to be a very articulate, insightful, caring, and generous young woman. Your picture shows a very beautiful young woman with very soulful eyes. Please, please, please take the first step and talk to an adult that you trust. If you are not ready to take that step with your Mom, talk to an Aunt, one of your Mom's close friends, a teacher that you respect, and let them know what is going on. I bet any one of them would even be willing to go with you and help you talk to your Mom. I know I would.
Sending you lots of love from Missouri.

*hugs* it does get better. For me it did, my childhood was horrible. I won't go into details, unless you want to know them. I may be 27 and happily married to my best friend now. I wasn't always so happy. I ate and ate when I was sad, getting up to a size 20 my junior year. I remember being depressed and hating myself I even tried to commit suicide twice, I failed obviously. The 1st time I was 13, I took 13 Tylenol pills and just got sick in the morning, and I let my mom just believe it was the flu. Then when I was 16 I slit my wrist, but when I saw the blood, I chickened out, and didn't cut deep enough. I talked to a councilor, that just told me to ditch my one friend, she's a bad influence on me. That just made me pissed off and even more angry.

What helped me the most during this time was writing. All my emotions and thoughts and feeling in a notebook. I was too scared of someone reading mine, so I burned every single page. I don't recommend this because I accidentally caught my bed on fire, doing so.

Please, I beg you DO NOT be a people pleaser! This was a big thing for me. I still struggle sometimes with it, but its not as severe. I'm able to tell people NO now, and I'm able to put my foot down, now when people use me as a doormat, where as before I couldn't, I just let them use me.

feel free to add me, and again *hugs*