"real" men and "real" women

roachhaley
roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
in Chit-Chat
Something I see a lot of is people saying stuff like "REAL men like girls with curves" or "REAL women have curves".

Now, the issue isn't with what someone might prefer in a man/woman. The issue is that the poster is implying that unless you have these traits, you are not a "real" man or "real" woman.

Let's try and remember that everyone is unique. That doesn't make them less real. If you are transgender, have had a mastectomy, are naturally slim, naturally curvy, gay, straight, tall, short, large framed, small framed, black, white, asian etc etc and you are a woman, then CONGRATULATIONS! You are a real woman!

Women shouldn't feel like they aren't good enough just because you don't prefer how they look. It's okay to have an opinion/preference, but please do not imply that anybody is less "real" than anybody else. :flowerforyou:
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Replies

  • mrs_deg1983
    mrs_deg1983 Posts: 157
    Something I see a lot of is people saying stuff like "REAL men like girls with curves" or "REAL women have curves".

    Now, the issue isn't with what someone might prefer in a man/woman. The issue is that the poster is implying that unless you have these traits, you are not a "real" man or "real" woman.

    Let's try and remember that everyone is unique. That doesn't make them less real. If you are transgender, have had a mastectomy, are naturally slim, naturally curvy, gay, straight, tall, short, large framed, small framed, black, white, asian etc etc and you are a woman, then CONGRATULATIONS! You are a real woman!

    Women shouldn't feel like they aren't good enough just because you don't prefer how they look. It's okay to have an opinion/preference, but please do not imply that anybody is less "real" than anybody else. :flowerforyou:

    agreed
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
    I not real according to people whos say that, so I agree.
    Being unreal can't be all bad though :P
  • _hi_hat3r_
    _hi_hat3r_ Posts: 423 Member
    Something I see a lot of is people saying stuff like "REAL men like girls with curves" or "REAL women have curves".

    Now, the issue isn't with what someone might prefer in a man/woman. The issue is that the poster is implying that unless you have these traits, you are not a "real" man or "real" woman.

    Let's try and remember that everyone is unique. That doesn't make them less real. If you are transgender, have had a mastectomy, are naturally slim, naturally curvy, gay, straight, tall, short, large framed, small framed, black, white, asian etc etc and you are a woman, then CONGRATULATIONS! You are a real woman!

    Women shouldn't feel like they aren't good enough just because you don't prefer how they look. It's okay to have an opinion/preference, but please do not imply that anybody is less "real" than anybody else. :flowerforyou:

    Good post! I actually agree with you!
  • fraser112
    fraser112 Posts: 405
    I thought this was going to be a thread on obese people :laugh: its the only time i see the words real before man and woman.


    No matter how much of a weirdo you are there is someone just as weird and beautiful to you :flowerforyou:
  • Escarda
    Escarda Posts: 131 Member
    *like* :flowerforyou:
  • shorty35565
    shorty35565 Posts: 1,425 Member
    I not real according to people whos say that, so I agree.
    Being unreal can't be all bad though :P

    Haha good one. Unreal is prob best anyways lol
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    Agreed.
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
    I'm not real either according to 99% of MFP users, I'm a twig. :laugh:
  • tialeanne
    tialeanne Posts: 186 Member
    REAL women mud wrestle. Just sayin.
  • unsuspectingfish
    unsuspectingfish Posts: 1,176 Member
    AMEN.
  • douglasmobbs
    douglasmobbs Posts: 563 Member
    It is only how people use words. It is blatantly obvious that other people outside the group of people they are talking about are actually real.

    There are men who like curvy woman and think that the way a woman looks is high on the list of requirements when choosing a partner, so for those men if a woman is not curvy they are not good enough for them. It is only an opinion that is not offensive just selective.
  • Siobhan69
    Siobhan69 Posts: 10
    Great post. I also think it's important that everyone remembers that the concepts of what attributes, behaviours and characteristics make someone a 'man' or a 'woman' are socially constructed. Our personal gender identity (woman, man, transgender etc) is separate from our biological sex identity (female/male) and each of us has a different idea what it means to be a man, or a woman, or something else because these are not quantitatively measurable concepts but social constructs.
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
    It is only how people use words. It is blatantly obvious that other people outside the group of people they are talking about are actually real.

    There are men who like curvy woman and think that the way a woman looks is high on the list of requirements when choosing a partner, so for those men if a woman is not curvy they are not good enough for them. It is only an opinion that is not offensive just selective.

    I said in my original post that it wasn't having a preference that bothered me. Almost all of us have some sort of preference. It's when you put other people down for not fitting your preference that it starts to bother me.
  • _hi_hat3r_
    _hi_hat3r_ Posts: 423 Member
    Real women eat cheese cake
  • Marks281172
    Marks281172 Posts: 127 Member
    Real women Squat 200lbs, Real men act like a gentleman and load the bar for them :)
  • Meg_78
    Meg_78 Posts: 998 Member
    We'll said...finally :tongue:
  • gypsybree
    gypsybree Posts: 218
    Something I see a lot of is people saying stuff like "REAL men like girls with curves" or "REAL women have curves".

    Now, the issue isn't with what someone might prefer in a man/woman. The issue is that the poster is implying that unless you have these traits, you are not a "real" man or "real" woman.

    Let's try and remember that everyone is unique. That doesn't make them less real. If you are transgender, have had a mastectomy, are naturally slim, naturally curvy, gay, straight, tall, short, large framed, small framed, black, white, asian etc etc and you are a woman, then CONGRATULATIONS! You are a real woman!

    Women shouldn't feel like they aren't good enough just because you don't prefer how they look. It's okay to have an opinion/preference, but please do not imply that anybody is less "real" than anybody else. :flowerforyou:

    You're nice and right.
    Some people just can't get curves.. like some people have a hard time losing weight others have a hard time keeping it on
  • douglasmobbs
    douglasmobbs Posts: 563 Member
    I did not see any point in your post that said people put down others who do not fit into their preferred body shape, only they champion that shape. From what you have posted it seems like you are reading beyond what is written and extrapolating that into a personal put down.
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
    I did not see any point in your post that said people put down others who do not fit into their preferred body shape, only they champion that shape. From what you have posted it seems like you are reading beyond what is written and extrapolating that into a personal put down.

    What if I said "you're not a real man because you dont have perfect abs and locks of wavy, blonde hair"? now, that may not hurt YOUR feelings, but for some people that are very insecure already, this may just make it worse. i know from personal experience that this kind of rhetoric can hurt. i have a "real girl" complex over the fact that i have short hair and not long, wavy, soft beautiful hair. you see what i mean? just because YOU aren't hurt by it doesn't make it right.
  • douglasmobbs
    douglasmobbs Posts: 563 Member
    I did not see any point in your post that said people put down others who do not fit into their preferred body shape, only they champion that shape. From what you have posted it seems like you are reading beyond what is written and extrapolating that into a personal put down.

    What if I said "you're not a real man because you dont have perfect abs and locks of wavy, blonde hair"? now, that may not hurt YOUR feelings, but for some people that are very insecure already, this may just make it worse. i know from personal experience that this kind of rhetoric can hurt. i have a "real girl" complex over the fact that i have short hair and not long, wavy, soft beautiful hair. you see what i mean? just because YOU aren't hurt by it doesn't make it right.

    My abs are awesome, and my hair is almost too wavy and blond.

    People can take offense far too easily. Are you sure that a public forum that allows people to express their opinions in the way MFP does is the right place for you if someone saying that they prefer a different body type to yours upsets you so much.

    There is a line that people should not cross, and I think that is when people say targeted spiteful things, not for using commonly used language to express a general preference.
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
    I did not see any point in your post that said people put down others who do not fit into their preferred body shape, only they champion that shape. From what you have posted it seems like you are reading beyond what is written and extrapolating that into a personal put down.

    What if I said "you're not a real man because you dont have perfect abs and locks of wavy, blonde hair"? now, that may not hurt YOUR feelings, but for some people that are very insecure already, this may just make it worse. i know from personal experience that this kind of rhetoric can hurt. i have a "real girl" complex over the fact that i have short hair and not long, wavy, soft beautiful hair. you see what i mean? just because YOU aren't hurt by it doesn't make it right.

    My abs are awesome, and my hair is almost too wavy and blond.

    People can take offense far too easily. Are you sure that a public forum that allows people to express their opinions in the way MFP does is the right place for you if someone saying that they prefer a different body type to yours upsets you so much.

    There is a line that people should not cross, and I think that is when people say targeted spiteful things, not for using commonly used language to express a general preference.

    Look, I think we can both agree that everyone has a different level of tolerance when it comes to hearing negative things about themselves or the group they belong to. Just because one gay person laughs at a gay joke doesn't make it okay to tell gay jokes. You know what I mean? It isn't about being offended, it's about damaging people or a group of people.
  • illuminatusObservor
    illuminatusObservor Posts: 104
    I'm not real either according to 99% of MFP users, I'm a twig. :laugh:

    Me too. I was accused of having an ED because I posted about thigh size o.O (took measurements for the first time, wanted to compare)
  • madamepsychosis
    madamepsychosis Posts: 472 Member
    'I like curvy girls' = stating a personal preference.

    'Real women have curves. Only dogs like bones. No man wants to date a twig.' = stating a personal preference as if it's fact and being pretty damn offensive in the process.

    Apply this formula to any other preference. It works just as well.
  • nevertoolate2
    nevertoolate2 Posts: 309 Member
    I pinched myself and felt pretty real to me. Of course I could be wrong. Happy to pinch others to make sure they are real!

    Everyone is unique, that is what makes us real. Everything else is just judgemental stereotyping and doesn't help anyone.
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
    Theres this whole trend, so to speak, on MFP deliberately bashing those of us that do not fit a certain body type. Not every female can be or would want to be a size 12-14, or whatever is considered "normal" or "acceptable". It is most certainly offensive and hurtful to be called a twig, a toothpick or a skeleton. Because of genetics, metabolism, etc some of us are considerably smaller and thinner than most. That being said, and especially in my case, thin does not equal healthy. I am here to improve my hip to waist ratio and to not be so skinny-fat. It's bad enough going through life looking like Nicole Ritchie:laugh: and come here and see so many threads dedicated to putting ones body type down.
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    If you are transgender, have had a mastectomy, are naturally slim, naturally curvy, gay, straight, tall, short, large framed, small framed, black, white, asian etc etc and you are a woman, then CONGRATULATIONS! You are a real woman!

    Sorry but I don't consider gay or transgender as a real woman. I don't discriminate them but to consider them "real women" wherein they were born with a penis without a uterus is a way off.
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
    If you are transgender, have had a mastectomy, are naturally slim, naturally curvy, gay, straight, tall, short, large framed, small framed, black, white, asian etc etc and you are a woman, then CONGRATULATIONS! You are a real woman!

    Sorry but I don't consider gay or transgender as a real woman. I don't discriminate them but to consider them "real women" wherein they were born with a penis without a uterus is a way off.

    Yes, if you're a biologist or doctor, then the gender they were born WOULD matter. But to the average person, it shouldnt matter because you are not dealing with their health or anatomy. I think you're missing my point, though.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    If you are transgender, have had a mastectomy, are naturally slim, naturally curvy, gay, straight, tall, short, large framed, small framed, black, white, asian etc etc and you are a woman, then CONGRATULATIONS! You are a real woman!

    Sorry but I don't consider gay or transgender as a real woman. I don't discriminate them but to consider them "real women" wherein they were born with a penis without a uterus is a way off.

    How the heck are gay women not real women somehow?

    As far as trans women, there is no such thing as "biologically male" or "biologically female". Having a penis does not automatically make a person a man.
    Biological sex is a combination of genotype and phenotype.
    Phenotype is way more important in social interactions than genotype. Most people never find out what their genotype is.
    With today's technology, phenotype can be changed.
    Primary sexual characteristics? Can be changed.
    Secondary sexual characteristics? Can be changed.
    Endocrine levels? Can be changed.

    Also, if your gender identity revolves solely around your genitals, I feel sorry for you.
  • _hi_hat3r_
    _hi_hat3r_ Posts: 423 Member
    If you are transgender, have had a mastectomy, are naturally slim, naturally curvy, gay, straight, tall, short, large framed, small framed, black, white, asian etc etc and you are a woman, then CONGRATULATIONS! You are a real woman!

    Sorry but I don't consider gay or transgender as a real woman. I don't discriminate them but to consider them "real women" wherein they were born with a penis without a uterus is a way off.

    How the heck are gay women not real women somehow?

    As far as trans women, there is no such thing as "biologically male" or "biologically female". Having a penis does not automatically make a person a man.
    Biological sex is a combination of genotype and phenotype.
    Phenotype is way more important in social interactions than genotype. Most people never find out what their genotype is.
    With today's technology, phenotype can be changed.
    Primary sexual characteristics? Can be changed.
    Secondary sexual characteristics? Can be changed.
    Endocrine levels? Can be changed.

    Also, if your gender identity revolves solely around your genitals, I feel sorry for you.

    I take great pride in my genitals. I should post a pic of them.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    If you are transgender, have had a mastectomy, are naturally slim, naturally curvy, gay, straight, tall, short, large framed, small framed, black, white, asian etc etc and you are a woman, then CONGRATULATIONS! You are a real woman!

    Sorry but I don't consider gay or transgender as a real woman. I don't discriminate them but to consider them "real women" wherein they were born with a penis without a uterus is a way off.

    How the heck are gay women not real women somehow?

    As far as trans women, there is no such thing as "biologically male" or "biologically female". Having a penis does not automatically make a person a man.
    Biological sex is a combination of genotype and phenotype.
    Phenotype is way more important in social interactions than genotype. Most people never find out what their genotype is.
    With today's technology, phenotype can be changed.
    Primary sexual characteristics? Can be changed.
    Secondary sexual characteristics? Can be changed.
    Endocrine levels? Can be changed.

    Also, if your gender identity revolves solely around your genitals, I feel sorry for you.

    I take great pride in my genitals. I should post a pic of them.

    You should. After all, without proof of your genitals, how are we to know if you're a REAL man or not?

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