I need help for my dad

bethany_jurries · October 2009

My dad is morbidly obese. He needs a lot of help. He has agreed to start losing weight and he needs to lose about 300lbs. I have started giving him challeges each week i.e. (no fast food this week, no candy bars next week, walk 20 mins more this week) I need some help with what tips to give him and what challenges. He has been over weight for his whole life. This has to be done carefully but with great motivation.. Any tips and help any ideas and support is much needed! I am really desperate for ideas!

I have told him to do it for me to see me walk down the aisle. To hold his grand kids one day. To live longer. I have said everything that would tug at his heart. I just do not know what to do now. Please help me and my daddy!

Mariettarose · October 2009

I'm not sure how to get him motivated more than you have already done. He needs to make the choice for his own reasons. You working with him and encouraging him to make small changes sounds like a good start. There are also good ideas at this website I found that includes 118 small steps you can take to start making the bigger changes. http://www.smallstep.gov/sm_steps/sm_steps_index.html
Interesting website about weight control too.

Hope this helps.

Phoenix_Rising · October 2009

Get him to a doctor, asap. That doctor can help you create a weight loss plan, give you referrals to a dietician and nutritionist, while monitoring your daddy's health. :flowerforyou: I hope he is able to stick with this and make a big change!

JDHINAZ · October 2009

I think the most important thing to remember is that this is your dad's journey, only he can decide how he wants to live his life. The best you can do is be an encouragement to him, both with your words and your actions. Perhaps if he sees the changes you are making to become fit and healthy, that might encourage him to take the steps for himself.

That being said, being that big, I would think there may be some underlying issues that need to be addressed. Do you think he might be willing to get some counseling? It might encourage him to start living a healthier lifestyle. Of course, you can't force someone to do this, but it might be a start.

Best of luck, and remember that as much as you love your dad, you have to take care of yourself, too!

amymeenieminymo · October 2009

I second what everyone else said about getting him to a doctor and realizing that HE has to want to do this or it will never work.

But perhaps something else that would give him more motivation is if maybe he could read some words from others who have lost that much. Maybe post a thread asking for people who have lost a lot of weight to post a short story of their journey. I could imagine needing to lose that much weight is very daunting and could cause someone to figure, "it's too much, why bother". But if he could read about others who have been on the same difficult journey, and to see that they not only did it, but they are now living the life that he only imagines, maybe that would give him some inspiration. Good luck!

CasperO · October 2009

Good luck, men are hardheaded. He can do it if HE wants to do it. You can't do it for him, and you can't make him do it.

So - you're goal is to "Sell" the idea of getting healthier. You want to help him see how much better his life will be if he's in better shape. Point out the things he'll be more able to do - how much better he'll feel. And you gotta do it without harping or being preachy. It's tricky.

One thing a little worrisome. You said ""I have started giving him challeges each week i.e. (no fast food this week, no candy bars next week, walk 20 mins more this week)""

Did you notice that the "challenges" are all negative? No more yummy greaseburgers. No more Milky Way bars. Get off your butt and walk (hard to do for a guy that big).

It might work better if your challenges are more positive "do this" things and less negative "don't do that" things. Challenge him to wipe out a whole bag of apples this week. Challenge him to beat you at a game of no-cart golf. Get him a pedometer, and vow to double his steps - if he get 5000 in a day, you'll do 10000 - and then challenge him to make you renege on the vow. Hehehe,,,

Good luck, have fun - love your dad. I sure miss mine.

bethany_jurries · October 2009

Good luck, men are hardheaded. He can do it if HE wants to do it. You can't do it for him, and you can't make him do it.

So - you're goal is to "Sell" the idea of getting healthier. You want to help him see how much better his life will be if he's in better shape. Point out the things he'll be more able to do - how much better he'll feel. And you gotta do it without harping or being preachy. It's tricky.

One thing a little worrisome. You said ""I have started giving him challeges each week i.e. (no fast food this week, no candy bars next week, walk 20 mins more this week)""

Did you notice that the "challenges" are all negative? No more yummy greaseburgers. No more Milky Way bars. Get off your butt and walk (hard to do for a guy that big).

It might work better if your challenges are more positive "do this" things and less negative "don't do that" things. Challenge him to wipe out a whole bag of apples this week. Challenge him to beat you at a game of no-cart golf. Get him a pedometer, and vow to double his steps - if he get 5000 in a day, you'll do 10000 - and then challenge him to make you renege on the vow. Hehehe,,,

Good luck, have fun - love your dad. I sure miss mine.

This almost made me cry! It makes a lot of sense! thank you so much!

Losetheweightnat · October 2009

well it sounds like your already doing a good job motivating him which is very good! motivation is key to losing weight!! :happy: I agree with the others, get him to the dr. asap so they can determine what steps would be good for him to take, but in the end its up to your father to want this change.

bethany_jurries · October 2009

Thank you everyone! I am using all the advice I get. I will post his out comes! More advice is always welcome!!!

BrendaLee · October 2009

The best thing you can do is to do what you're already doing- offering him support. Walk with him...but remember he's going to need to take it slow. 20 minutes may even be too much for him to begin with. Really with that much weight to lose, he should have medical help and a big support team.

It can be so frustrating trying to get someone else to better their life, but he really has to want to do this for himself. Like I always say, I can't even get my 74 year old mother to take a multivitamin, so if you can get him to take some small steps in the right direction, you're doing a great thing.

I need help for my dad

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