MEN HELP what should I do????????????/

Options
kansasbelle
kansasbelle Posts: 264 Member
in Chit-Chat
So here is my issue. Yes, I did match.com..:blushing: :blushing: (so embarrassing):blushing: :blushing: Anyway, there is a guy I have been writing to. Lives about an hour and half away which in this state is not a big deal. I know he reads my e-mails the day I send them because it says so on the site, but he waits about 4 days to respond back to me. I am waiting to respond to him as well after hearing from him today. Anyway, I am not renewing my membership because I have been stalked and recognized in the grocery store and it sort of freaked me out. :noway: (Darn Small town America, this would happen in the big city!) Anyway, I was planning on giving him my gmail address but should I include my phone number too? And if I do include my number what should I say. Something like heres my e-mail if you want to keep in touch or if you feel like texting me (insert phone #) Please I was married for 10 years and am still new to the dating scene. Be honest please. I am counting on you to help me out....:happy:

21842360.png
Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

Replies

  • kevinfisher55
    kevinfisher55 Posts: 1
    Options
    Well, I would just advise you to be very cautious. Maybe just give him your email, and if you two continue to talk, then ask him if he'd want to text you or call you or whatever. But just from my experience, and from what I've seen from people around me, keep your personal information personal, until you really know the person.
  • devguy
    devguy Posts: 6 Member
    Options
    I would say do not give him your phone number until you are very very comfortable with him. Once they have that, if its a landline number they can most likely do a reverse lookup for the address, if its a cell then they can forever text you and you pretty much cannot do anything other than change your number.

    If you want a more personal communication then email might work (watch out if when you send an email if it has your real name in the "from" if he does not already know it), otherwise open an IM account like yahoo and chat that way. There's still a certain amount of anonymity and the option to cut it off by simply deleting the account if things go south.

    I agree with Kevin, keep your personal information personal until you really really know the person.
  • southofmadness
    southofmadness Posts: 316 Member
    Options
    I would think telling him to forgo the site and to just contact you by email directly would be fine. Your phone number could follow in future email but im not so sure I would give your # out right away. Normally, I wouldn’t think anything about it, but 4 days to respond to your email sounds ridiculous to me if he is very interested. Granted.. our lives are full of things that occupy our time, but if he has time to read your emails, it takes 30 seconds to let you know he is busy and will get back to you ASAP. Find someone that makes you a priority…not an option!
    But that’s just me
    Btw..Don’t be embarrassed. Be safe. Best of luck
  • _hi_hat3r_
    _hi_hat3r_ Posts: 423 Member
    Options
    Exchange emails only for now.
  • kansasbelle
    kansasbelle Posts: 264 Member
    Options
    Thanks Y'all .. it's so different in small town america... There is another guy I have written to a few times and he doesn't even know my name lives 2 hours from here but his family turns out to be from here and go figure was here for the holiday weekend. Well I get this e-mail were you at Dillons around 6 tonight? He said he didn't want to scare me at the store. Yeah and that not the first time it's happened to me so I am cancelling my Match account. That would never happen in a big city but with only 3 grocery stores in town. Also, I have a pre-paid phone and another e-mail account my ex -was a programmer I know to be pretty safe in those ways at least he left me with that.
  • Irish_Lanie
    Irish_Lanie Posts: 100
    Options
    I agree with the previous guy replies and Im thrilled to see some men giving (great) advice!
  • fenwaysgirl
    fenwaysgirl Posts: 22
    Options
    email ONLY!.....my membership on Match just ended...i cancelled it only 6 hours after joining, there are So many scammers on there...i had to let it run out...during that time, i think i talked to only a few guys, i did emails first, then exchanged phone numbers with only a couple..what a waste of money....ive had much better luck with singlesnet.com as long as one of you is a featured member, then the other can contact you for free....so most guys serious about finding a gal, will buy the membership and the gals can email him for free without having to buy a membership...so far ive met a really nice guy and i met him for the first time this past saturday...keeping ym fingers crossed. good luck
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
    Options
    Why so embarrassed? I've been online dating for years and I kind of enjoy it. Tons of people do it these days, it's not really as bad as it was once made out to be. I understand women may have reasons to be paranoid about it, but just remember you can meet creepy people anywhere.

    But to answer your original question, just send him your email or phone number, it's not that big of a deal.
  • Newf77
    Newf77 Posts: 802 Member
    Options
    Kinda curious why he is waitting 4 days to respond so I would fully agree with the e-mail account only, I would even go as far as setting up a seperate gmail/yahoo account just for this purpose.
  • marieautumn
    marieautumn Posts: 932 Member
    Options
    email only! plus you dont want to seem TOO interested. the key to gaining a man's interest is the slow reveal. dont give too much of ANYTHING too fast.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    Options
    Email. If you're done with him, just spam it.

    If you decide to give him your phone, use your cell. If he turns out to be weird, you can always block him from calling.
  • va_va_voom
    va_va_voom Posts: 467 Member
    Options
    If he's waiting up to 4 days at a time to respond, I would just give him a head's up that you're not renewing your account and see if he asks for a way to contact you outside of Match. I'm a firm believer in not making it too easy for a guy. (ducks as guys start throwing rocks at me).

    BTW - I live in a town that is much bigger than 3 grocery stores and I ran into two different guys that I had had a few exchanges with on Match when I was single after my divorce. One was at the gym and the other one was out dancing one night. Neither approached me and I didn't approach them - mostly b/c it just feels awkward since it isn't a planned meeting. I wouldn't get too freaked out by it if I were you. :)
  • 1WorkoutAtATime
    1WorkoutAtATime Posts: 719
    Options
    Exchange emails only for now.
  • 1WorkoutAtATime
    1WorkoutAtATime Posts: 719
    Options
    email only! plus you dont want to seem TOO interested. the key to gaining a man's interest is the slow reveal. dont give too much of ANYTHING too fast.


    THIS!
  • ultim8one
    ultim8one Posts: 80 Member
    Options
    I would think telling him to forgo the site and to just contact you by email directly would be fine. Your phone number could follow in future email but im not so sure I would give your # out right away. Normally, I wouldn’t think anything about it, but 4 days to respond to your email sounds ridiculous to me if he is very interested. Granted.. our lives are full of things that occupy our time, but if he has time to read your emails, it takes 30 seconds to let you know he is busy and will get back to you ASAP. Find someone that makes you a priority…not an option!
    But that’s just me
    Btw..Don’t be embarrassed. Be safe. Best of luck

    ^^^^^ This .... word for word ...
  • jr1985
    jr1985 Posts: 1,033 Member
    Options
    As far as the whole not getting back to you for 4 days... Maybe he is just reading your messages on his phone but doesn't actually log onto the site on the computer for a few days... I know that's generally what I do... I check and read my messages on my phone, but would take too long to type out a response that way so I wait until I actually log onto the computer for that... On the other person's end it may look like I'm ignoring them, but really I just don't get on the computer at home super often. (But I do get on MFP at work, which is why I'm on here all the time! lol)

    As far as giving him your contact information... google him first, make sure he doesn't have a criminal record or anything, then give it to him if you feel comfortable... Yes we all hear these horror stories about people stalking you, or stealing your personal information etc... but most people on online dating are just like the rest of us... basically decent people who just because of work, where we live, etc. have a hard time meeting people in person.
  • Nailrep
    Nailrep Posts: 966 Member
    Options
    GIVE HIM YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS. NOT YOUR PHONE NUMBER. BUT IF HE'S WAITING 4 DAYS TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU, HE PROBABLY ISN'T TAKING THE WHOLE DATING THING TOO SERIOUSLY. I'D PROBABLY MOVE ON TO SOMEONE WHO WILL GIVE YOU THE RESPECT OF A PROMPT RETURN MESSAGE. JMO.

    PS - I MET MY HUBBY THERE ALMOST 10 YEARS AGO. THERE CAN BE SOME GREAT THINGS ABOUT DATING SITES!
  • islandnutshel
    islandnutshel Posts: 1,143 Member
    Options
    NO to the phone number, and I would make yourself a new gmail account and send him that address. That way you don't have to change your usual adress if things get weird.

    You just got out of a relationship, you are working on yourself.

    To be honest, my advice is to wait till you are happy on your own, because if you don't get to that place then you will never be happy with someone.

    I love that you are getting some positive attention. And you are making great strides here, keep it up.

Categories