Giving Constructive Critisism to Friends with Open Diarys

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AmyMcDonald808
AmyMcDonald808 Posts: 41
in Motivation and Support
Hello Everyone!

I was just wondering how you felt about others giving you constructive criticism on your food and exercise log. Do you appreciate it? Does it annoy you? Do you let your MFPs know if there eating like crap or slacking on the cardio? Sometimes I want to say try eating whole grain bread instead of white or have more veggies or dont eat that processed crap! But I know not everyone goes by the same rules when it comes to their diet. Would you be offended?

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  • tripitena
    tripitena Posts: 554 Member
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    I may think those things but would probably never give unsolicited criticism. Not because I don't want to help but because if they wanted mydietary advice they'd ask. If a mutual discussion arises I'd give my input.
  • AmyMcDonald808
    AmyMcDonald808 Posts: 41
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    Yeah I guess your right but I personally would appreciate it. I like to think were hear for each other for support and also for accountability. I know its probably not appropriate and I dont know how to say it without coming off *****y lol..
  • MarincicS
    MarincicS Posts: 265 Member
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    There was just a big rant on this yesterday - a new MFPer was very unhappy at getting unsolicited criticism and advice and actually kind of rude questions about her process. I think it would be best to be cautious.

    But if you are looking for the advice, you should say so. You can either start a message topic asking for some inputs on how to clean up your diary a bit or interesting suggestions other people use, or possibly you could target one or two of your friends and ask if they would be interested in working out diary improvements together.
  • REET420
    REET420 Posts: 160 Member
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    I don't mind as much because I might be doing something wrong without noticing it and they point it out. I didn't realize I was eating so much carbs till a friend pointed it out. As long as they are polite about it and understand that everyone makes mistakes every now and then I see no problem with it. On the other hand I won't say anything unless I'm asked because I wouldn't want to upset anyone. Usually if I have a cheat day I will post it as my status so my friends know my diary will be bad that day or I won't log at all and just add 10 000 calories. I don't think I eat 10 000 I just would prefer to be way over my calories than underestimate them.
  • LauraSmyth28
    LauraSmyth28 Posts: 399 Member
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    I wouldn't like critisism of my diary. There are not many people out there who don't already know that wholegrain is better than white, and that veggies are better than processed food....so why bother? I do my best every day with my food choices and while my diary is not perfect it's the best I can do without feeling too deprived of my beloved carbs.
  • nick3478
    nick3478 Posts: 18 Member
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    Have a look at mine, criticise mine and then I will tell you if I feel offended, I'm pretty sure I would be ok with criticism.
  • sgv0918
    sgv0918 Posts: 851 Member
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    I may think those things but would probably never give unsolicited criticism. Not because I don't want to help but because if they wanted mydietary advice they'd ask. If a mutual discussion arises I'd give my input.

    this....I'm an adult and know when i make crap choices
  • seekingstrengthX2
    seekingstrengthX2 Posts: 771
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    I think it depends on the situation. I eat crap as much as the next person, *BUT* I keep it in check and am making steady progress. If someone is doing well overall, I leave it be.

    If, on the otherhand, someone posts" UGH, I'm doing everything right and the scale just wont move!""" Well, then yeah, I give them some hints as to what the problem might be.

    Some folks are in denial. They think they are doing everything right, but they really aren't.
  • sleepyjean88
    sleepyjean88 Posts: 180 Member
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    If I'd asked for the advice I would be grateful, however random comments about what I'm doing wrong and what I should be doing more of would piss me off!
  • Amo_Angelus
    Amo_Angelus Posts: 604 Member
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    So long as you phrased it well I wouldn't mind. It's something I actually wish people would do for me. I have a food phobia but no one anywhere is willing to push me to get over it and so it remains there because sadly I'm too weak to get over it by myself.
  • cmayfield3
    cmayfield3 Posts: 176 Member
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    My diary is open to friends because I think it's interesting to look at people's diaries for meal ideas, NOT because I'm looking for criticism.

    Frankly everyone seems to have strong opinions on what is healthy... one person thinks low-fat is the way to go, the next thinks all wheat should be avoided, etc. So for anyone to say that their way is the right way and get on my case about how I'm doing things is really presumptuous to me.

    Now, I agree that if I posted a status about things not working as they are, that is opening the door to criticism. I would still take it with a grain of salt but I wouldn't be as annoyed.
  • fenwaysgirl
    fenwaysgirl Posts: 22
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    i think i wouldnt mind a comment or 2...i drink water, but my likes are horrible..i would LOVE to be able to eat more veggies but i hate veggies,ive tried preparing them in ways where I could tolerate them etc...i am the fussiest person i know...i dont like fish either.....lol
  • Flobarker
    Flobarker Posts: 7 Member
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    I'm going to add you feel free to criticize me :)
  • kettle_belle83
    kettle_belle83 Posts: 94 Member
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    I keep my diary open because I welcome constructive criticism. I eat clean and exercise 5-6 days/week for the most part. I love the comments and feedback I get from my friends here. I've never encountered anyone that was rude or disrespectful. If I'm slacking I want someone to tell me about it!!! I don't take offense. Sometimes that's just the kick in the *kitten* I need. We are all here for different reasons. I've built a very strong support system. I feel like I can openly comment on my friends' diaries as well. It's helpful to learn from each other without being completely negative about everything. There are is one circumstance I can think of where some of my comments may come across as a little brutal. There are tons of people in this community that suffer from eating disorders. I cannot/will not support that kind of unhealthy lifestyle. If the person is trying to recover I'm glad to offer support any way I can, but if they plan on continuing that kind of destructive behavior I will give my honest opinion about things.
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,554 Member
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    I'm not looking for a critique of my diary, and I don't comment on other people food choices unless they ask for advice.
    No one but me knows my reasons for making the choices I make and I can't think if any comments that would actually be useful.
  • pullipgirl
    pullipgirl Posts: 767 Member
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    I do not like unsolicited advice. Unless they are specifically are asking about opinions, advice I would not say anything.. Especially some with eating disorders your comments could actually make it worse
  • SuperCork
    SuperCork Posts: 192 Member
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    There was just a big rant on this yesterday - a new MFPer was very unhappy at getting unsolicited criticism and advice and actually kind of rude questions about her process. I think it would be best to be cautious.

    But if you are looking for the advice, you should say so. You can either start a message topic asking for some inputs on how to clean up your diary a bit or interesting suggestions other people use, or possibly you could target one or two of your friends and ask if they would be interested in working out diary improvements together.

    I was thinking about this yesterday, and I'm glad I took the time to search to see if anyone had brought it up before I posted it myself.

    I keep my diary open to friends, but that is mostly because I enjoy perusing other people's out of sheer curiosity and figure maybe others enjoy the same. I personally don't give any type of criticism, constructive or otherwise, to others' diaries and wouldn't unless asked--this is basically my opinion in life as well: I'm an intelligent capable adult with access to a huge amount of information, so if I want advice, I will open my mouth and ask for it. There are SO many different personality and body types and SO many different ways of 1) losing the weight and 2) losing it and keeping it off that I see no reason to volunteer my opinion on a personal choice (even though, yes, they've made it public) since I'm no expert, which is meaningless since one can find any number of experts to defend to the death any number of theories and facts so...yea.

    Now, the exception has been only in the case of obvious proAna behavior (and sometimes profile statements). There was once that I felt morally obligated to point out to someone that she was killing herself even though I knew in advance my words would mean nothing and I was right: they were not appreciated or recieved well. Since then, I have come across different friends whose diaries indicated extremely unhealthy patterns. In those cases, I monitored the diary a bit more regularly for a while and if it seemed clear there was a problem, I defriended because I will NOT support that nonsense.

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