Thanks for that.......backhanded compliment.....

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1213shell
1213shell Posts: 37 Member
in Motivation and Support
So, yesterday a co-worker says to me, "Wow! You've really lost a lot of weight." I replied, "Thank you. I still have some more work to do." "No, you don't! You don't need to lose any more weight -- you are done!" Another co-worker (someone who is closer to me as a friend) was with us and almost said the same thing but I set her straight.

Again, "thank you" but I know how much I've lost and how much I currently weigh. Losing another 20-25 lbs will put me at a healthy weight (I'm currently at 150 and thus far, have lost 15 lbs) and will allow me to feel better about myself. Comments as the above may be well-meaning but they lose their meaning as it appears the speaker knows my body and health better than me. Especially since these words came from a person who has to travel 110 miles to see her nutritionist, drives 50 miles each week to grocery shop at the nearest Whole Foods, works out but finds household tasks too menial and strenuous....okay...rant complete :)

Replies

  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
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    That's not a backhanded compliment
  • seekingstrengthX2
    seekingstrengthX2 Posts: 771
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    I dont' see anything backhanded about that at all. Seemed like a nice compliment to me.
  • chachita7
    chachita7 Posts: 996 Member
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    Agree not a bakhanded compliment... there are plenty of us who have gotten that type of compliment... it was simply a you look really good and if you were not to lose any more you still have done an awesome job type of thing.
  • Montegue42
    Montegue42 Posts: 98
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    I understand how its frustrating. My future in-laws think I'm golden, so every time I go down there and try to control what I eat, they're always like "You're beautiful just the way you are!" I know its well meant, and quite frankly, I prefer that to "you're a fat cow" or something! Ahahahaha, but it feels a little weird when you feel unsupported. As long as your goals are healthy, go you!!
  • sunnie326
    sunnie326 Posts: 721 Member
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    Agree not a bakhanded compliment... there are plenty of us who have gotten that type of compliment... it was simply a you look really good and if you were not to lose any more you still have done an awesome job type of thing.


    This
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    Wow what a bunch of *****es you work with. If I was you I'd go tell them off and work on hanging out with some better people. Next thing you know you will be walking around with a dagger in your back.
  • Merithyn
    Merithyn Posts: 284 Member
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    I understand how you feel about people supposing they know better than you about your own life. It's frustrating. At the same time, they were giving you an outsiders' perspective on how you look... something we often need to pull us away from our own warped mirrors.

    Walk away from this with two thing: 1) You now know that you know yourself better than anyone, and 2) You look goooood!
  • 1213shell
    1213shell Posts: 37 Member
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    I guess you would have had to hear the tone in which the comments were made along with more of the backstory on this person. She is very petite, might be 115 lbs at her heaviest but is constantly saying she is dieting (hence, her need for the nutritionist). Also, she is a superior who typically talks over you because she feels her opinion is what matters....period. The other co-worker taking part in the conversation was very receptive to my explanation for the need to continue my weight loss and has always been very authentically encouraging.

    Normally, I'd take the words with a gracious "thank you" and leave it at that.....the way these words were said just rubbed me the wrong way.
  • april_beth
    april_beth Posts: 617 Member
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    cant ANYONE take a freakin' compliment??!!

    ill take it for you if you dont want it...*throws hands up in the air in utter exasperation*

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