Need Opinions/Experiences - having more kids.

jessimacar
jessimacar Posts: 291
edited December 20 in Chit-Chat
Let me start off by saying that I realize this is a very personal, individual decision between my husband and myself. I will not be making this decision solely based on what people say, but I'm hoping to gain more insight on different viewpoints I may not have considered yet.

Now that I've said that, I would love for people to give me their thoughts and experiences on having a second child. I want to start trying for another soon, but my husband isn't sure. We have a 2.5 month old son. Anything we should consider? Any reasons to have another child soon? Or not to?

Thanks!! :)

Replies

  • RDalton84
    RDalton84 Posts: 207
    I have two boys but mine are almost three years apart. For me personally I cannot imagine having two very young babies, both in diapers and both still very dependent on me but for some it works because they want to have their children all be close in age. If I was a stay at home mom I might have been more willing to have them closer together. That being said I LOVE having two children and I want to add at least one more to the mix. It is a big adjustment going from 1 to 2 but once you get a routine it's a piece of cake! lol course there are some days I wish I could trade them in for children that will sit and be quiet lol but it's awesome. I think it would be pretty lonely around the house with just one and I think he would be bored to tears without having a sibling to play with.
  • TnDMommy
    TnDMommy Posts: 15 Member
    I have 2 kids, they are about 18 months apart. I love every minute of it, but it can be very challenging.
    My SIL just found out she is pregnant with her 3rd. Her boys are 33 months apart, the baby and her 2nd will be 37 months apart.
    All I can say, is what another 8-10 months before trying, give your body a chance to heal from this baby. Enjoy your little man!!!
    Whatever you decide, will be the right choice. ;)
  • curvykim78
    curvykim78 Posts: 799 Member
    My kids are 13, 12 and 3. it was very hard with 2 little ones, trying to keep up with them is insane! They'd run 2 different ways, both in diapers, hauling strollers, snacks, sippy cups, diaper bags, etc. You don't get any time to relax because they are both very needy as long as they are young. It made me appreciate my youngest even mpore. I felt like I had more time to enjoy him because I wasn't running after another kid. But it is also nice to have my 2 girls closer in age. They can share clothes, help each other with homework, hang out and be friends together, and much more. It's all a personal decision, just make sure you talk about everything and don't hold anything back. Be honest with each other, and make sure you give your body enough time to heal between pregnancies. Good luck!
  • maddymama
    maddymama Posts: 1,183 Member
    Hi Mama,
    I am a mom of two, and love it (most days)! They are 3 years apart. They are now almost 6 and almost 3.

    You have a tiny little baby, 2.5 months old. You might want to wait until your little one is at least six months old before you start to consider trying for #2, as babies conceived within 6 months postpartum from a sibling often have a low birthweight and premature births, although that is a conversation that should be had between you and your medical provider. I think some of the health considerations drop if you concieve after 6 months postpartum. I don't know exactly how long it takes a women to "recover" from the toll pregnancy, labor, and delivery take, but I would *think* it's at least a year. That might be a question for your OB/midwive.

    Personally, the toll of sleepless nights was the worst for me was when my oldest was between 3 and 9 months old, so I would have not wanted to be pregnant during that time. I think that at or around a year I could have handled being pregnant and taking care of my baby without being too emotionally and physically exhausted. That said, pregnancies are hard on my body, so if pregnancies are easier for you that might not be as much of a concern.

    Are you breastfeeding your two month and a half month old? Many women don't have their cycles return for 6-ish months if they arefully or exclusively breastfeeding. This doesn't mean stop nursing your little one, but that your body may not be ready to conceive for a few more months. Also, if you are breastfeeding, there is usually no reason to stop nursing your baby while you are pregnant. Many women breastfeed their older child through their pregnancy and beyond.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    There is not a linear correlation to the differences. It is more exponential.

    Two kids are not twice as hard to look after as one kid...more like 4 times as hard.
  • rainbowroots
    rainbowroots Posts: 28
    well, i'm young i-and i don't know much about this stuff, but me and my sister are only 19 months apart, which makes it easier for us to be friends.
  • morgansmom02
    morgansmom02 Posts: 1,131 Member
    My idea of a nightmare would be to have two kids in diapers. I have seen people hauling around a baby and a small toddler and they look like they want to cry. I would give it 3 years. Mine are 6 years apart and I think that is too big of an age difference.
  • jnh17
    jnh17 Posts: 838 Member
    Mine are 15.5 months apart (got pregnant when my first about about 6.5 months old). While the 2nd one is much easier, having 2 instead of 1 is WAY tougher -- but that's at any age. You have one that's 5 that's in sports or dance or whatever, try dragging along a baby or a toddler (I've done this times two b/c I have a stepson that is 5 years old than my oldest. We have him 50/50). Two is just harder. I like having mine together because they always have a partner. They are FINALLY at the age they can play with each other! My oldest just turned 4 and the baby is 2.5. I couldn't imagine having my 4 year old and a brand new baby. We're totally out of baby mode. No diapers, no bags of 50 million baby things to cart around.

    The one thing I will tell you, if you work especially, you better have a husband that considers himself a 50/50 parent and not just your helper or you'll want to jump off a cliff.
  • jnh17
    jnh17 Posts: 838 Member
    There is not a linear correlation to the differences. It is more exponential.

    Two kids are not twice as hard to look after as one kid...more like 4 times as hard.

    Yes! Economies of scale definately apply to the expense (2 kids are not twice as expensive as 1) but the difficulty is exponential!
  • sbernardy
    sbernardy Posts: 188
    I have two daughters and they are 8 years apart and they were both planned! They play so well together the 10 year old acts like a little mommy and my 2 year old loves her big sister! Recently just got married and my husband has 4 children 15, 11, 9 and six... So now we have one big happy family! But I have to say I'm glad I waited to have my second! I enjoyed the first through her special moments in life... Now I'm capturing my second daughters moments...
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