ladies over 40

13»

Replies

  • elri1908
    elri1908 Posts: 160 Member
    Bump to read later. Gotta run for an appointment.
  • juliekaiser1988
    juliekaiser1988 Posts: 604 Member
    First of all, from experience: a man who tells you that is secretly very afraid of losing you. He'd rather you were "stuck" where you're at. Been there, lived that, left it behind (after 16 years of it).

    Second of all, why are you asking his permission to do something to improve your health? Do you ask him permission to take tylenol when you have a headache? Do you ask him if you can take pepto when you have an upset stomache? Do you ask him for permission to eat your veggies?

    JOIN THE GYM. Do it for YOURSELF.

    Julie
  • tmpayton
    tmpayton Posts: 148 Member
    I'm 44. I won't say my husband is non-supportive but I wouldn't exactly call him supportive either. I am doing it for ME. I don't want the health problems that were sure to plague me in the coming years. My son is althletic and I want to be able to keep up with his HS and College days with NO EXCUSES (butt won't fit in seats, get out of breath walking up bleachers, etc). I have decided it's okay to be selfish in this journey as it IS about me.
  • Legs_McGee
    Legs_McGee Posts: 845 Member
    i told my dear husband that i wanted to join a gym.. he told me i'm not 20 anymore.. why even try..

    so my question for those of you over 40.. why are you doing it.. why are you trying to eat well and look great.. seems my dear unsuportive husband cant figure it out.. i would like give him some answers.

    I wonder if this isn't more of a reflection of how he feels about himself than a slam on you. What kind of shape is he in? Maybe he feels like it's too late for him. At any rate - don't let it stop you. Perhaps you'll inspire him.

    I'm going to be 42 next month and it never occurred to me to think I'm too old to join a gym. I see all kinds of people in there in their 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond. I workout because I want to be strong and fit and healthy. I don't want to feel like I can't run a race, or climb all over the playground equipment with my little niece, or slog through the mud at a Warrior Dash. And because I take pride in my appearance.
  • moejo3
    moejo3 Posts: 224 Member
    My husband kind of feels the same...I think he just didn't want to make him do it too...
    My reasons:
    To age gracefully and look good for my age I don't want to be 20 again..I am happy at 42
    I will live a long time and I want to have a great quality of life while I age
    and lastly....
    To be a hot mom and grandma (my oldest is 23 it will happen sooner than later!)
  • iluvprettyshoes
    iluvprettyshoes Posts: 605 Member
    I'm doing this because I want to be healthy and strong!! Satisfaction of knowing I'm worth it to myself to set goals and reach them!
    The boost in energy, mood, self confidence is amazing!! There are so many benefits to healthy diet and exercise. Decrease the risk of heart attack and stroke. Prevent Alzheimer's. Reduce stress. etc. etc. etc!!!
  • robpett2001
    robpett2001 Posts: 320 Member
    i told my dear husband that i wanted to join a gym.. he told me i'm not 20 anymore.. why even try..

    Wow. When does he get out of the hospital? LOL
  • dlex70
    dlex70 Posts: 1 Member
    He's just worried you'll get fit and leave him. Do it for yourself !:laugh:
  • SP2Bfit
    SP2Bfit Posts: 114
    I suddenly came to the realization that I wasn't happy being fat and frumpy...I felt like I was avoiding things because of my weight. I was feeling like a dying flower and that life was passing me by until I started focusing on eating right and fitness again.

    I don't think people should be too hard on your husband...when you get out of exercise and fitness it is a foreign topic and can be an overwhelming concept until you get hooked again--that is what happened to me. If you keep at your fitness/weightloss plan (and from your ticker and profile shot it looks like you have already been doing a great job) he may suddenly decide it is something that is important to him too....if not, well then that is something for the two of you to work out how you see fit.

    In my situation my husband was not very excited about the extra weight I had put on during our marriage before I lost the 40+ pounds I did....so in addition to wanting to look and feel good for me, I was also motivated by wanted the spark back in my marriage. Yesterday when I drove home from work and opened up the car door my husband looked over at me and mouthed "wow" when I got out of the car....deciding that what he was doing was no longer important and that he preferred to spend a little time with me...life is a lot more exciting and fun being fit and feeling sexy then it was for the last few years...it is a much better quality of life for sure! And not to get too personal, but sex when you are fit and feel attractive is exponentially better than sex when you are self conscious about your body....:wink:
  • catpow2
    catpow2 Posts: 206 Member
    Seriously? My life has only gotten better as I've gotten older. In my 40s I have a successful and established career; I'm financially secure; I'm confident in who am I; and I've met many of the professional and personal goals I set for myself. I eat well and exercise because

    1) I want to continue to be healthy so I can keep enjoying it! These are the best years of my life!
    2) I want to keep looking good as long as I can.
    3) And--famous line from an Oil of Olay ad campaign: I have no intention of growing old gracefully--I plan to fight it every step of the way.
  • HannahPTA
    HannahPTA Posts: 39
    Well, my 93 year old grandmother worksout at the gym and she is sharp as she can be!!! I figure if my grandmother can do it at her age then I sure can at 41. Her secret is organic gardening, hardwork and hitting the gym 5 days a week. I like feeling strong and the energy boost that working out gives me each day. I like being firm and not jiggly. I want my hands to wave not my arm fat! I am also wanting to eat better and to have me in control of what I put in my mouth. In the past I felt food ruled me and that I had no control when it came to my trigger foods. Now, I am not perfect but much improved. I said goodbye to white carbs, processed foods and hello to the organic market. My family is getting used to the food changes and once a week I eat leftovers and they order their cardiac arrest pizza. The first time I lost 100 lbs. I did it eating different meals from them but I always was tempted to eat what they were and I felt deprived. Now, we are all in this together and yes sometimes the recipies I try are just gross or too healthy to stomach (meaning..it goes in o.k. but comes out...well you can guess). You are worth making the leap to join the gym and change your life! Be strong and before long your husband will probably change his tune. My husband took a long time to decide to get on board with my diet and now he even jogs with me a few times a week. Hang in there and I bet you will find a friend at the gym who is making the leap just like you.
  • mamaomefo
    mamaomefo Posts: 418 Member
    This journey is about me! I need to feel healthy & want to be around a long time with my best friend/hubby! I am concerned that my young brother & several cousins didn't take care of themselves & they are no longer here. Doing everything I can to be healthy is important to me. I'm not perfect at this but I try hard to be better each day at it! I've exercised regularly since 1992 but my eating has just recently become healthier. I will win this battle.
  • princessquitealot
    princessquitealot Posts: 58 Member
    Oh wow...why join a gym...why even try
    cause I sleep, and rest, and concentrate better. Cause when I come home after excercising I leave him alone (in a good way) to watch the news while I get out of wet clothes and shower off. Cause I have the dedication to GO but I don't have the dedication to do it on my own. Cause I smile more. Cause I'm more fun to be around. CAUSE IT'S FUN, and weight bearing exercises are GOOD FOR US! and I LOVE IT!
    Forget the dropped clothing sizes, forget the nice shape that exercise gives us that stuff is all secondary to being healthy and happy.
  • ahawks98
    ahawks98 Posts: 19
    Seems that you have received lots of answers and encouragement already but here's my ten cents. I do understand exactly how you felt because it sounds like something my husband would say. You need to remember that you are especial and important because someone bigger than ourselves created you worthy and especial. Don't let anyone take that away from you and more than that BELIEVE it!!!!
    Your husband sounds like he has his own issues and he needs to deal with them. You pat yourself on the back for making the decision to take care of yourself, to be healthy and enjoy the years that are ahead of you.

    When you need encouragement think of all the people who have befriended you just on this post, and keep on keeping on!!!
    God bless :)


    p.s. you can add me as friend if you'd like :)
  • Fitfortat
    Fitfortat Posts: 47
    Because just because your over 40 doesn't mean you can't feel sexy... Girl thats your prime!! Get your butt to the gym and tell your husband, if he would like to reap the benefits of your sexy energetic healthy self ... HE BETTER GET HIS BUTT TO THE GYM WITH YOU!!!!
  • yvettenixson
    yvettenixson Posts: 2
    I am so sorry that he ddnt support you,and that he ddnt see the point of you wanting to be better.I just don't understand some ppl.I think there are many different reasons why we don't get the support we need and want from our husbands or family and friends.I want to say is that we must motive ourselves because, it all starts with self.If we want it then we should have it no matter who's not with us.Go for what you want . And remember YOLO!!!!(YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE : )
  • NewTeena
    NewTeena Posts: 154 Member
    i told my dear husband that i wanted to join a gym.. he told me i'm not 20 anymore.. why even try..

    so my question for those of you over 40.. why are you doing it.. why are you trying to eat well and look great.. seems my dear unsuportive husband cant figure it out.. i would like give him some answers.
    I'm not 20 but my daughter is and I have a son in his mid twenties and two other sons in their late teens. I still have lots of life to experience and I'd like to be around to experience it. Matter of fact, the biggest thing that motivated me was the thought of never getting to meet my children's children.

    There is more to life than just being 20 years old.
  • fumando
    fumando Posts: 7
    I completely agree with the fact that if you get healthier and fit, that you feel better and the rest of the people around you feel better!! i did it so i could help lower my sugar and be healthier and to appeal to those ladies over 40!! :-) You do what you feel is right and what makes you feel better!!!
  • karylee44
    karylee44 Posts: 892
    thanks everyone.. i am joining the gym.. even though he is dead set against me doing it.. along with being agaisnt me hanging out here, and having any male friends..

    he is extremely out of shape, eats poorly and no longer really cares what he looks like.

    im NOT doing it to please him. im over that. i want to be fit, healthy and kick *kitten*. i want my kids to see a strong roll model and not just one that sits around all day eating chips.

    he has said that he thinks if i go to a gym i will be sleeping with everyone there.. really? so there is some major insecurities there.. but if he needs to get over it.. and telling me im basically a slut is not helping. (btw.. we have NO physical contact at home at all).

    off to the gym!
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    thanks everyone.. i am joining the gym.. even though he is dead set against me doing it.. along with being agaisnt me hanging out here, and having any male friends..

    he is extremely out of shape, eats poorly and no longer really cares what he looks like.

    im NOT doing it to please him. im over that. i want to be fit, healthy and kick *kitten*. i want my kids to see a strong roll model and not just one that sits around all day eating chips.

    he has said that he thinks if i go to a gym i will be sleeping with everyone there.. really? so there is some major insecurities there.. but if he needs to get over it.. and telling me im basically a slut is not helping. (btw.. we have NO physical contact at home at all).

    off to the gym!


    You poor thing!!! Try to talk him into counseling if you can. You are doing the right thing taking care of your health and well being! Hang in there:flowerforyou:
  • katharineshalia
    katharineshalia Posts: 243 Member
    Maybe if you go with your girlfriends he won't feel so threatened? He's going to make you miserable if you let him, probably best to get him to join too. We have a super nice club where they meet with you and walk you around, if there's a sauna and pool even better, he can sit around while you work out. You can also bring your kids, there's daycare and/or activities for teens, etc. All in all, not an easy fix. Friend me if you decide to stay on this site. You and I could be married to the same man :)
  • JeSuisPrest
    JeSuisPrest Posts: 2,005 Member
    Certainly sounds like he is dealing with some insecurities for sure! Is he willing to take this journey with you? Maybe if you got healthier together it would make him feel better!
  • karylee44
    karylee44 Posts: 892
    Certainly sounds like he is dealing with some insecurities for sure! Is he willing to take this journey with you? Maybe if you got healthier together it would make him feel better!

    he has no interest.. i have asked him to join me.. he said if i lose 10 pounds he would start.. didn't .. he said if i lost 20 pounds he would start.. didn't.. he said if i lost 30 pounds.. there is always a reason why he wont diet or why he wont workout. i even asked if he wanted to join with me .. he said no..

    i make healthy meals.. he wont eat them. im tired of asking
  • tenunderfour
    tenunderfour Posts: 429 Member
    Time for a new husband!!!

    I look and feel better now at 42, than I did in my 20s. My 64 year old mother runs a 5k race nearly every weekend. She races more than I do. Age is a number...... and you are only as old as you feel. I plan to be running races into my 70s and 80s if I'm lucky.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    Wow, that is not cool at all. I hope for your sake he would consider counseling. You need the gym just to work out your frustration!
  • missikay1970
    missikay1970 Posts: 588 Member
    i'm not 20 anymore, i'm 41 and no insult to anyone, but i would MUCH rather be 41 than 20!!!! my life is 100x better. i look and feel aMAZING and i'm in WAAYYY better shape than when i was 20, even though i weigh about 10 lbs heavier now. i go to the gym and work-out for ME. i LOVE the way i feel after, and i have more energy now than when i was younger (NO LIE) worth every penny spent on gym membership, and worth every tear of sweat!
  • reneelee
    reneelee Posts: 877 Member
    So I can enjoy retirement!
  • mannon1965
    mannon1965 Posts: 2
    I am doing this for me, myself and I. I have rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia and i and determined to keep my body moving. Exercise is the best thing I can do. It keeps my joints in check and also helps to clear my mind. I live in such a rural area that i would have to travel so far to go to a gym. If i was you and in you are able to join a gym then definitely would do it regardless of what my husband said.:laugh:

Categories