I reall need some help guys.

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KAF711
KAF711 Posts: 165 Member
I have SO much anger toward myself. I hate that I didn't stop eating and now I'm at point where I LOATHE putting on anything other than jammies. I know it is not impossible to lose weight. I don't know why it is so hard for me. I'm trying so hard to stick to the calories mfp has given me but, I go over everyday. I'm starving when I get to work, sometimes even shaky. Then I get so mad because I need to eat. I hate this cycle! I can't enjoy a meal because I'm only thinking of how many calories and how much I'm going to weigh. I'm broken in some way, I feel defeated and I don't know what to do.

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  • ckchilz1
    ckchilz1 Posts: 10
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    First of all, you are not defeated. You are here, learning to do better, and it's ok to have some difficulty when you begin something new. I'm new to MFP but not to weight loss. Perhaps you need to look at the combination of fats and proteins you are eating. Try adding protein with some "good" fats (a few nuts, slice or two of avocado) to your morning and afternoon meals or snacks. That keeps you feeling fuller longer. Have you seen your health care provider? Perhaps you have insulin resistance or early diabetes and you definitely will need to have a good proportion of fats and protein to carbs. I'm not a dietician, but I do know that works.
    So, give yourself a hug! You are worthy, capable, and willing-you are just learning a new lifestyle. Hang in there. I'm new and welcome support myself, and would be delighted if you wanted to add me as a friend.
    My trainer told me to ask myself: "If this were your best friend, would you say this? If not, don't say it to yourself."
  • s1lence
    s1lence Posts: 493
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    Well one thing you could do is stop dwelling on the past. That would be a great first step. Don't think about what you've done or gone over in the past just think about now and the future.

    Plan your meals ahead of time to keep you from worrying about how many calories you are consuming and that will help you with the cycle a little.

    Check out things that will help you with the shaky feeling. My husband goes through this- it hits him hard and fast with no real warning signs. When he gets to that point he grabs something like a granola bar or sugar pretzel or something that has immediate sugar but also has some carbohydrates for energy to burn later making him feel full fast and stopping the shaking. Keeping healthy snacks with you will help with that and if you keep your planning down so you have extra calories left over you know you can have these snacks without the guilt or worry of going over.

    Stay focused- if you failed to stay in your goals one day then make an effort to do better the next instead of hating yourself for going over. You are doing this for you and whatever other reasons you have, so think of those when you start getting down.

    If you find yourself eating because of boredom then find a good hobby. If you are eating because of stress try to take a walk and clear your head before you dive into something to comfort you. If you find that you are eating more then you should try to control your portions by measuring them, drinking more water, and waiting a little bit before going for more.

    Good luck with your goals. Stay positive and motivated. You can and will lose weight!
  • TeresaC79
    TeresaC79 Posts: 316 Member
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    how about opening up your diary so we can see what you eat and give you relevant feedback based on your diet.
  • sarafil
    sarafil Posts: 506 Member
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    I see on your profile that you quit smoking. That is a HUGE accomplishment, and in my opinion, a more pressing thing to do than lose weight. So you gained some weight while quitting, but that's okay. You will lose it. Be so proud of yourself that you are no longer smoking cigarettes! That being said, I would love to give you some feedback, but it would be helpful if you could open your diary. How many calories are you eating? What are you set for....a pound a week? Two pounds a week? What are you eating? Are you drinking enough water?
  • cherieocd
    cherieocd Posts: 4
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    join the jammies club i do the same thing we want to feel good jammies do the only thing food does make us feel comfort.
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,554 Member
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    Perhaps you need to try to step back and look at your situation from a different perspective.

    What is your goal? I know you want to lose weight (most people here do!) but why?
    Is it so you feel more energetic, so you can fit into particular clothes, so you can take up some kind of exercise, so you feel more in control, so you reduce your risk of diseases like diabetes or heart disease?
    I think having a clear idea of WHY you are doing this can really help keep your focus on what you know you need to do.

    Another suggestion is not to be too hard on yourself. If you are going over your calorie goal every day, maybe that's not the right goal for you. And if you are starving and shakey, it sounds like you have set it WAYYY too low.
    Try resetting your goals with a more moderate calorie deficit (I started out at "lose 1/2 pound per week"). It may seem like it will take way too long to lose the weight that way, but what you are doing not is not working so you need to change things around.

    I also think it is a great idea to set mini goals, like:
    - eat a healthy breakfast every day this week.
    - snack on fruit instead of cookies every morning.
    - exercise for 20 minutes 4 times this week.

    These kinds of things are much more achievable than a giant goal like "lose 50 pounds". It means that you have something positive to DO, something you can focus on, and something that you can actually achieve and celebrate. And these small changes might not seem like much, but they do add up over time.

    Good luck!
  • bathsheba_c
    bathsheba_c Posts: 1,873 Member
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    Be kind to yourself.

    Maybe try making one small change at a time insted of going for everything all at once? That might make it more manageable for you, and allow you to not be so hard on yourself because you're not expecting perfection.
  • KAF711
    KAF711 Posts: 165 Member
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    I'm no ready to make my diary public. It just feels too personal. I do count all my calories at the start of the day, knowing what I'm going to eat, but end up snacking too much.or dinner ends up pushing me over.
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,554 Member
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    I'm no ready to make my diary public. It just feels too personal. I do count all my calories at the start of the day, knowing what I'm going to eat, but end up snacking too much.or dinner ends up pushing me over.

    That's OK, just keep planning, keep logging, focus on one area at a time. If your meals are OK, then pick just one thing (one time of day for example) to work on. Hang in there, you can do it!
  • prettygirlstorm1
    prettygirlstorm1 Posts: 722 Member
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    I feel your pain but just know that we are here for you. I am not an expert at eating the right foods to lose weight but i do know that eating more protein keeps you full longer. I have heard people say before you eat, stop and think if you are really hunger, bored or check out what is going on before you eat. I have learned that drinking water with lemon or one of those 10 calorie sugar free mixers help. Don't beat yourself up we all go through it at some time or another. Maybe you should see your doctor to make sure that everything is working properly. Then speak to a nutritionist. Good luck to you and believe everything will work out!!!!
  • KAF711
    KAF711 Posts: 165 Member
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    My goal is to look in the mirror and be grossed out by what I see jiggling around. I'm sure I'm just making excuses, but it is hard with my schedule. I get home from work at 1130pm. I make and eat dinner. I'm in bed around 2am then sleep until 11am. I eat breakfast and then leave for work at 130pm. I eat a lunch at 8 pm and usually a snack at 5pm. I know I could wake up early and go for a walk, but then i have trouble staying awake at work. Also I'm a secretary, I sit on my bum all day
  • OzarkLakeLady
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    I agree with those who posted before me. Realize that you have to take the first step. Everybody does. The advice we are giving is because we have been there, and probably had that same sense of worthlessness. Plan ahead. After a short time, it becomes second nature. Try something new every week. I have switched to so many lighter versions and love just as much as the full fat and never knew! Just keep at it. Changes will happen.
  • TeresaC79
    TeresaC79 Posts: 316 Member
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    switching to low and no-fat isn't necessarily healthier. it usually has more added sugar. there is a time and place for full fat foods. fat in foods does not equal fat on body.
  • sehrler
    sehrler Posts: 89 Member
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    I do the "5 meals" thing, it keeps my blood sugar steadier and I rarely feel hungry. Plus I make sure I eat a lot of protein, that helps a lot. I am on 1200 cals/day (approximate, sometimes I go up to 1300/1400 but usually come in around 1200) and make sure I get a minimum of 100g protein.

    For breakfast I will have fruit (try to keep to berries, they are less in sugar--I eat blueberries, raspberries and blackberries--and a few cherries) and a Greek yogurt. (the Greek yogurt has twice as much protein, 14g, as regular).

    Snack 1 I usually have a protein shake, I love the EAS AdvantEDGE carb control chocolate ones--they are only 110 calories, 17g protein and no sugar, 3g fat.

    Lunch I usually eat a turkey, lettuce and tomato sandwich but I either have it on a wrap, half a kaiser roll or a Fold It (100 calories and super yummy!)

    Snack 2 I usually eat a salt free rice cake with 2 tbsp peanut butter (225 cals all together)

    Dinner, lean beef or chicken and lots of veggies, sometimes a little bit of starch side like a piece of sourdough bread or a very small serving of rice or potatoes, but I've learned to like having only protein and veggies.

    I am a HUGE sugar and carb lover so for me to do this, you know it's workable--I'm never suffering and starving or feeling denied. If I want pizza (one of my faves) I work it in, if I want Ben & Jerry's, I work it in--but keep that to once every 2-3 weeks so I don't fall in the habit. I also like granola bars for a treat sometimes.

    I do 30-45 mins cardio daily combined with pilates, strength training and stretching. I also take supplements--gummy multi vitamins, Vit D, Vit E, B complex and a probiotic, biotin and sugar free fiber supplement.

    I also drink a lot of water, and I usually add a little lemon or lime juice, lots of ice and sip it all day long. I am lucky in that I don't like soda, so if I don't drink water I drink unsweetened iced tea in moderation.

    Feel free to friend me and look through my diary :) Good luck. You can do this! I am 44--down 38 since starting MFP (love this site) and 93 lbs total since my high weight.