Question for the adult men!

emmab0902
emmab0902 Posts: 2,338 Member
edited December 2024 in Chit-Chat
How soon is too soon in a relationship (talking people in their 30s and 40s) to tell the person you love them?? I am talking about in a committed monogamous relationship.

Replies

  • TheVimFuego
    TheVimFuego Posts: 2,412 Member
    How soon is too soon in a relationship (talking people in their 30s and 40s) to tell the person you love them?? I am talking about in a committed monogamous relationship.

    I have no idea but I love you.
  • exdisneychick
    exdisneychick Posts: 47
    My BF and I have now been dating 9 months. I fell in love with him within weeks of meeting. But kept it to myself. It took him 8 weeks to tell me he loved me. We were sitting in his car waiting for my daughter and he just said "you do know I love you dont you". Yep, I was floored. I know we women fall harder and faster than the guy. If you are feeling love, be careful with letting it be known. You dont want to scare him off.

    Good luck and I hope he feels the same as you.
  • TitanGM
    TitanGM Posts: 1,161 Member
    My BF and I have now been dating 9 months. I fell in love with him within weeks of meeting. But kept it to myself. It took him 8 weeks to tell me he loved me. We were sitting in his car waiting for my daughter and he just said "you do know I love you dont you". Yep, I was floored. I know we women fall harder and faster than the guy. If you are feeling love, be careful with letting it be known. You dont want to scare him off.

    Good luck and I hope he feels the same as you.

    ^ this sums it up!
  • fraser112
    fraser112 Posts: 405
    That is a good question, For me it just kinda happend but she was my first full GF.

    I actualy talked to one of my mates about this the other day. If you ever get over someone or just get used to suppressing it. If My next one i should go full force into it and not hold back or let my bad time before hold me back and make me stand offish.

    So my answer is i have no idea :laugh:
  • shaynak112
    shaynak112 Posts: 751 Member
    It depends on the relationship! Every one is different! If it's in the first few days or something - that's overboard! I wouldn't advise saying it before a month. For me, I don't think I can truly mean it until 3-4 months of dating a person. Just because it takes time to get to know someone!
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    It took me about 2 months to 'admit' to it :smile:
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    hubs says he loved me the minute he saw me- and knew he was going to marry me (i was... 15 maybe at the time?) i refused to date him for 2 years.

    weve been married 15 years and have two kids now LOLOL
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    This is such a case by case situation. I can usually tell pretty quickly if I could love a girl...the real love though, comes from mutual feelings and a whole host of other things that aren't really within my control. Interaction...connection...intensity...humor...the things she stands for...the list goes on. It's incredibly complicated...and stupidly simple all at once. Whether it takes a week, or a month, or six months...the answer is still the same.

    It just depends.
  • emmab0902
    emmab0902 Posts: 2,338 Member
    I guess my question should have been is it ever a bad idea to tell someone you love them.
  • chantalb20
    chantalb20 Posts: 132
    My partner told me he loved me after three weeks. I on the other hand, waited until about 3 months into the relationship. It's different for everyone - he's 9 year older than me and felt it first!
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    I guess my question should have been is it ever a bad idea to tell someone you love them.

    Sure, you wouldn't walk up to a cute guy on the street and say it...while someone you dated for two years should pretty much be able to expect it. Anything in between is just another shade of grey. It's up to you to judge where your particular shade falls.

    I've been happy when someone I loved told me first...but it usually ends up being me first. Or it's a funny back and forth until someone slips type thing.

    *shrug* this question doesn't have an answer hun.
  • oberon0124
    oberon0124 Posts: 10,524 Member
    Your heart should give you the answer!!! Go with it, I would!
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
    This is such a case by case situation. I can usually tell pretty quickly if I could love a girl...the real love though, comes from mutual feelings and a whole host of other things that aren't really within my control. Interaction...connection...intensity...humor...the things she stands for...the list goes on. It's incredibly complicated...and stupidly simple all at once. Whether it takes a week, or a month, or six months...the answer is still the same.

    It just depends.

    ^^^This

    I do admit that I'm always reluctant to say it first because I'd never say it if I didn't mean it. I dated a guy once who said he loved me but I wasn't quite there yet so my response was "aww thanks :)" Yeah, awkward.
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
    Well, my boyfriend and I knew each other online for about 4 years before we first met up IRL. We always "liked" each other, but its a bit awkward to admit that online if you're unsure if you'll ever meet. Anyways, we told each other the first night we spent together.

    I dont think anytime is "too soon" as long as its mutual. Just dont go shouting it from the rooftops if you aren't getting the same vibe from him.
  • Ginder23
    Ginder23 Posts: 8
    Its NEVER a mistake to tell someone that you love him or her . There is only one exception ,dont say it if your heart and your mind does not feel the same way.....i think there is a difference between desire and love.......

    .... anyhow, i wish you the best and everything works out for you..........( i hope un understand what i mean , bad english , i am german.....lol)
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