It's ruining our relationship

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  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
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    my fiance eats what I make and he DOES NOT cook... I only cook healthy
  • MamaLeague
    MamaLeague Posts: 148 Member
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    my fiance eats what I make and he DOES NOT cook... I only cook healthy

    My guy doesn't cook either. I do all the cooking. But I don't see him except for on the weekends. (Which is probably not helping the situation...)
  • iamkarent
    iamkarent Posts: 145 Member
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    To me...food and exercise go hand in hand...maybe try not hitting the issue head on...let him find his way there on his own..

    Why not start some easy healthy exercise options that are a good way to spend time together...

    Such as I am going to take a walk, I would really like you to come....and enjoy a nice walk...spend time together developing healthy lifestyle...as you do it more and increase to more things....he may see that healthy eating goes hand in hand...

    If he doesn't...dont hold yourself back from doing those healthy activities...just always put the invite there...and be ready to tone down to a level that suits a beginner...

    My boyfriend may not eat as well as I do...but respects my choices...but he loves spending time together..so walks are great :)

    And now we also have added bike rides, and kayaking
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
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    Would you love him less if he gained weight?





    If your answer is yes, leave.

    You can't force him to do anything. He needs to want to do it.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,783 Member
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    My husband has recently said he needs to do what I do , so he sees it he knows it he just has to want to do bad enough. One day I'm hoping he will actually do it. Once he makes up his mind he's good with it and will do it
  • SexyCook
    SexyCook Posts: 2,253 Member
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    It is definitely challenging when our significant others don't think or eat the same in this healthier lifestyle as we try to....One thing for sure you can only provide suggestion or continue to do your part in making the eating side to your relationship healthy...No way will it work by forcing them..You know it is a mind-set and until he realize that and try...Nothing you can do but keep making better selections and meals for yourself and enough for him to try....Trust I have one myself...and it a roller coaster of eating healthier...Hopefully your fiance will be inspired by your transformation...Never give up trying but don't try to force it..Will not work...
  • ehg87
    ehg87 Posts: 430 Member
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    I can sympathize with you, yet at the same time you can't make your fiancee want to eat healthy. And If you really love your fiancee you'll love him the way he is/way he's going to be....unless he wants it he isn't going to make a lifestyle change...and if its going to get under your skin always if he stays so unhealthy or if he gains lots of weight...then I'd say marriage isn't meant for the two of you...cause its for better or worse.
  • sandrajune72
    sandrajune72 Posts: 550
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    Have hope! My fella is very slowly coming round to my way of thinking! He's starting to look at the calorie count in foods and I swear he's eating slightly less! I think he's seen the difference in me and has realised it's not as hard as he thinks it will be!! :tongue:

    In my experience you can't force anyone to do anything they don't want to do, in fact the more you try to force them, the more stubborn people can be!

    Best of luck :flowerforyou:
  • MamaLeague
    MamaLeague Posts: 148 Member
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    Thank you for all the helpful comments. I'm reading and taking heart to them all, truly.

    I know he has to want it bad enough for himself. Because I had to want it bad enough for myself.

    When he says "I admire your willpower" I tell him I have none, I still enjoy the old foods, and I still eat them, I'm just pissed off enough to do it in moderation.
  • SWiel84
    SWiel84 Posts: 43
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    My husband was always the healthier one, and I was the one who was "dragging my feet" with getting on the bandwagon here. For me, it was an insecurity thing-- I wasn't ready to let go of my bad habits. My mother has been in and out of the hospital a lot over the past 2 years due to health issues, and having a long, honest talk about my family's health history--and how I could be in the same boat as her if I didn't clean up my act-- was what turned me around. Talking about our future and what we wanted out of life was what made change my mind about getting healthy. You can't make him want it, but you can make him realize that your future together will only be a long, happy one if you are both on the same page and want the same things out of life. I understand you're frustrated... it took about 2 years of me half-assing a diet/exercise program to actually get 100% on-board. HAHA. Just be patient. If he loves you and hears your concerns and understands what you're saying-- why you're saying it-- he'll want to make the change, too. Good luck!!

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