Diary of A Compulsive Overeater - Day 13

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well, yesterday was a total bust. i knew it was going to be bad, but i had no idea how bad it was actually going to be. i went to a craft fair, and it was totally boring, i didn't sell a single thing, and the only thing to do for the 7 hours that we were there was eat. so here is how it all broke down:

breakfast:
mini wheats
skim milk
2 slices toast with becel and sugar free jam

snack:
hot dog with onions
mini bag of chips
rice crispie square

lunch:
2 hot dogs with onions
mini bag of chips
3 small brownies
1 can of diet pepsi

snack:
1 piece of pie
2 cups of tea with whole milk, 2 teaspoons of sugar each

supper: (went to the KEG)
10oz. prime rib
1 cup of mashed potatoes
1/2 cup sauteed mushrooms
1/2 mini sourdough loaf with 2 TBSP whipped butter
1 large ceasar salad

so, needless to say, about 30 minutes after dinner i threw up. what the hell? i wasn't even that hungry when we went out for dinner in the first place! my mom took me for dinner, and the whole day i knew i was going there and that i should save room, but i managed to stuff my face before we even went out of dinner! and who the hell goes to the keg and orders a salad? plus mom was paying. about 1/2 way through i was full, but it was a 35$ dinner, i didn't want to waste it, so i stuffed myself. i was soooooo sick. at when i got home, i tried to let the meal settle, but i was so full that i threw up. why do i do this to myself? i know this past week hasn't been that great, but i haven't binged since last weekend. so i guess that is a step up, considering i used to binge almost every day, but i am just so disappointed in myself. blah. so, as usual i will say to myself that i will "never ever binge again", but now i don't know if i even trust what i tell myself. i'm going to try not to let this get me down, however hard it will be. for today here are my main goals:

have a positive outlook
follow my meal plan, and if i am still hungry, make healthy choices
not to binge
not to obsess about food
read more in my book about why i overeat and how to stop it.
go for my 40 minute walk today.

food plan for today:

breakfast:
1 cup oatmeal
1 apple, sliced

snack:
yogurt
22 almonds
mini carrots

lunch:
2 cups of orzo salad with feta and veggies
1 avocado

snack:
1 orange
1 cucumber

snack:
2 wasa crackers

supper:
4oz of roasted pork
2/3 cup rice with tiny bit of soy sauce
steamed broccoli
small tossed salad with olive oil vinaigrette

snack (if hungry)
1 cup skim milk

i like all of the food i have chosen for today, and there is no reason at all why i should stray from the plan other than lonliness, boredom, angry, stress, frustration or just downright depression.

i weighed myself this morning as well. last week i was 276.4, and this week i am 279.5. this is discouraging, but i only have myself to blame. i am accountable, i know exactly what i did wrong: i ate too much, and didn't exercise enough. this isn't rocket science. i have to not let myself get down about this. i am going for a nice walk when i get home today, even if it is raining (it's always raining), because it helps me unwind and de-stress. hopefully this will help me to not obsess and end up bingeing. well here is to going in to today with the bst intentions....

Replies

  • ellelit
    ellelit Posts: 806 Member
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    well, yesterday was a total bust. i knew it was going to be bad, but i had no idea how bad it was actually going to be. i went to a craft fair, and it was totally boring, i didn't sell a single thing, and the only thing to do for the 7 hours that we were there was eat. so here is how it all broke down:

    breakfast:
    mini wheats
    skim milk
    2 slices toast with becel and sugar free jam

    snack:
    hot dog with onions
    mini bag of chips
    rice crispie square

    lunch:
    2 hot dogs with onions
    mini bag of chips
    3 small brownies
    1 can of diet pepsi

    snack:
    1 piece of pie
    2 cups of tea with whole milk, 2 teaspoons of sugar each

    supper: (went to the KEG)
    10oz. prime rib
    1 cup of mashed potatoes
    1/2 cup sauteed mushrooms
    1/2 mini sourdough loaf with 2 TBSP whipped butter
    1 large ceasar salad

    so, needless to say, about 30 minutes after dinner i threw up. what the hell? i wasn't even that hungry when we went out for dinner in the first place! my mom took me for dinner, and the whole day i knew i was going there and that i should save room, but i managed to stuff my face before we even went out of dinner! and who the hell goes to the keg and orders a salad? plus mom was paying. about 1/2 way through i was full, but it was a 35$ dinner, i didn't want to waste it, so i stuffed myself. i was soooooo sick. at when i got home, i tried to let the meal settle, but i was so full that i threw up. why do i do this to myself? i know this past week hasn't been that great, but i haven't binged since last weekend. so i guess that is a step up, considering i used to binge almost every day, but i am just so disappointed in myself. blah. so, as usual i will say to myself that i will "never ever binge again", but now i don't know if i even trust what i tell myself. i'm going to try not to let this get me down, however hard it will be. for today here are my main goals:

    have a positive outlook
    follow my meal plan, and if i am still hungry, make healthy choices
    not to binge
    not to obsess about food
    read more in my book about why i overeat and how to stop it.
    go for my 40 minute walk today.

    food plan for today:

    breakfast:
    1 cup oatmeal
    1 apple, sliced

    snack:
    yogurt
    22 almonds
    mini carrots

    lunch:
    2 cups of orzo salad with feta and veggies
    1 avocado

    snack:
    1 orange
    1 cucumber

    snack:
    2 wasa crackers

    supper:
    4oz of roasted pork
    2/3 cup rice with tiny bit of soy sauce
    steamed broccoli
    small tossed salad with olive oil vinaigrette

    snack (if hungry)
    1 cup skim milk

    i like all of the food i have chosen for today, and there is no reason at all why i should stray from the plan other than lonliness, boredom, angry, stress, frustration or just downright depression.

    i weighed myself this morning as well. last week i was 276.4, and this week i am 279.5. this is discouraging, but i only have myself to blame. i am accountable, i know exactly what i did wrong: i ate too much, and didn't exercise enough. this isn't rocket science. i have to not let myself get down about this. i am going for a nice walk when i get home today, even if it is raining (it's always raining), because it helps me unwind and de-stress. hopefully this will help me to not obsess and end up bingeing. well here is to going in to today with the bst intentions....
  • crystalee
    crystalee Posts: 13
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    I admire your honeysty about yesterday, and about what you are going through. Take things one day at a time. You CAN do it! You are not alone in this. :flowerforyou:
  • REB89
    REB89 Posts: 493 Member
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    :flowerforyou: good luck today
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    i like all of the food i have chosen for today, and there is no reason at all why i should stray from the plan other than lonliness, boredom, angry, stress, frustration or just downright depression.


    Overeating will do nothing to alleviate lonliness, boredom, anger, stress, frustration and especially depression. :flowerforyou:

    Pick healthier alternatives & you'll be surprised at how much better you'll feel. {{HUGS}} :heart:
  • banks1850
    banks1850 Posts: 3,475 Member
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    Well, I admire your honesty as well. I guess the only thing I can say about this is that if you don't eliminate your eating triggers, it will be extremely difficult to ever stop.

    That probably means stopping from going out to eat for a while. I know that sounds crazy, but politely declining isn't as hard as it sounds. Look at it this way, you wouldn't ask a newly recovering alcoholic to go to a wine tasting, or a newly recovering gambler to go to a vegas night. So why would you expect a person with food issues to do ok at a restaurant?

    Eliminate the triggers and it makes your recovery much easier, at least at the start, results make refusal much easier to do.

    Hope this helps, best of luck to you. Don't give up!

    -Banks
  • dragonscapes24
    Options
    I agree with banks and would also add that you may want to get a buddy... someone you can talk to when the urge to binge hits... for instance you find yourself heading for dq and half way there realize what you are doing... stop right there and make the call... then walk back home and have a healthy snack... It helped me a lot to do that...
    good luck
    Jenn
  • hmmmm
    hmmmm Posts: 607 Member
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    I also admire your honesty and maybe logging everything will help you figure out what is making you overeat. It looks like you have the best intentions going in to each day then life happens and you get deterred. I have suffered with overeating in the past.
    Things that help me now:
    I have made a list of pros and cons of eating too much and my goals big or small and I put one copy in my bathroom one on my fridge and I carry one with me now.
    For most of the restaurants that I go to I already have an idea of what I will order when I get there. I try not to look at the menu much this is what I am getting and that is final. I dont usually include salads in there but try to get grilled chicken or fish with steamed veggies. If I get fast food I usually get a grilled wrap or maybe a jr burger and then a salad.
    Now at home I just don't buy the crap that I know I will not be able to stop eating ie. Potato chips, brownies,candy,any baked desserts and so forth. The only things that are easily accessible for snacks are light popcorn, pretzels, nutrigrain bars and fruits and veggies.
    I drink water before and after every meal so this way I make myself feel a lot fuller. If I am making a higher calorie dinner at home I chop up a cucumber or other veggies first and eat that while I am cooking the meal (it keeps me from picking and starts out my meal healthy). I stay out of the convience store and if I do go I know what I am getting and that is my limit.
    I have turned to the lower calorie options when I shop now. FF milk and low fat dairy, I look for lower calorie breads and wraps, I stock up on frozen veggies and some canned so I don't have an excuse not to eat it. I get a lot of chicken and ground turkey sometimes pork. I never go to the store really hungry either. I also go to a produce store that sells fruits and veggies cheap. I try to buy something new each time I go and look it up on the internet how to cook it.
    There is still some places and situations where I don't do well. If there is a candy bowl out I can't keep my hand out of it. I also noticed if I am with people that tend to overeat so do I. If I am with people who eat better I do as well. Now I try to lead by example although it doesn't always work.
    I just figured I would pass on some of these things that have been working for me and see if you wanted to apply anything to your new lifestyle. I know this is hard and different situations arise everyday. You can do this. It took me to reach a breaking point.... I was sitting at home with my two kids and watching a program on tlc about obesity with people who were so overweight they could not leave their homes and how they eat so much that their bodies wouldn't be able to burn it off in a week. Honestly it scared me although I was not really that close to that it finally sunk in that I can't do this to my body anymore and that I don't want to keep gaining weight. Then I thought about where this would take me in ten years. Hmm I guess it was my breaking point and that's is when I started eating healthier and I found this site. Honestly although I did want to lose weight my main goal was just not to gain any more.

    I hope any of this helps you in the slightest way. Good luck to you. -Heather
  • nmsp2180s
    nmsp2180s Posts: 12
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    Have you tried eating clean?

    If you follow clean-eating pricinpals, you are eating 6 small meals a day, and you don't feel hungry or deprived. All the foods you eat are packed with what your body needs naturally.

    You might try checking it out. Tosca Reno is an excellent source for eating clean in the real world. She's got a column in Oxygen magazine, and a book about clean eating that includes an entire section of really great recipes.

    My husband is a meat and potato kind of guy, and I've started implementing clean eating recipes at home. Not only does he not notice that it's "health food," but he actually prefers the clean eating meals to his regular fat/calorie/cholesterol laded stuff.

    I think Tosca also has a website. A google search could tell you for sure.
  • jammergirl99
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    My two cents..

    A lot of restaurants have online menus with nutritional information. Set aside some time to look at the ones for places in your area. Make a list of pre-approved restaurants. When somebody asks if you'd like to go out to eat, suggest one from your list. That way, when you get there you will already know what is safe to order. :)

    My second suggestion is to not worry about wasting food. Pretty much every restaurant out there has some type of take home box or bag that you can save the food for another meal. So, eat half or whatever and take the rest home. :) Or go ahead and split the meal. Saves money too...

    Hope that helps! Keep up the progress!