Yeah, love.

Amanda_Rae_Rae
Amanda_Rae_Rae Posts: 109
in Chit-Chat
What do you guys think? Is it possible to have a consistently happy relationship with a significant other?

Replies

  • angeldaae
    angeldaae Posts: 348 Member
    Well, yes. I am married and I am consistently happy in my relationship.
  • jeby8
    jeby8 Posts: 41 Member
    When it's with the right person, then yes. It's completely possible. :) It won't always be sunshine and rainbows but if you're unhappy more times than you're happy in a relationship, then it may not be the right relationship for you.
  • crazy8ts
    crazy8ts Posts: 360
    When it's with the right person, then yes. It's completely possible. :) It won't always be sunshine and rainbows but if you're unhappy more times than you're happy in a relationship, then it may not be the right relationship for you.

    I concur... and will piggyback...

    I've always said, I'd rather have bad days than good days... 'cause the periodic 'bad day' is expected... but if I'm having 'good days' than it means that, on average, the balance of my days suck.
  • shaynak112
    shaynak112 Posts: 751 Member
    Yes. I've been with my boyfriend for two years. We rarely fight. If we do, it's about silly things, and it's more just a tame argument/disagreement. Not much of a fight. :p

    I was with my ex for three years and although I "thought" he was the one, I realize NOW that it was nothing close. Sometimes it takes a while but you will find the right person :)
  • shaynak112
    shaynak112 Posts: 751 Member
    When it's with the right person, then yes. It's completely possible. :) It won't always be sunshine and rainbows but if you're unhappy more times than you're happy in a relationship, then it may not be the right relationship for you.

    I concur... and will piggyback...

    I've always said, I'd rather have bad days than good days... 'cause the periodic 'bad day' is expected... but if I'm having 'good days' than it means that, on average, the balance of my days suck.

    I feel like that logic is VERY flawed.
    I'd hate to have the majority bad days.
    A bad day here and there is nothing when the majority is happiness.
  • kmuree
    kmuree Posts: 283 Member
    I've been through more up's and down's with my boyfriend of six years than I can possibly count, but after all of that we are finally in an amazingly happy, stable place. I know that these past six years is just the beginning. He's my forever.

    I definitely believe it's possible. :love:
  • MonicaT1972
    MonicaT1972 Posts: 512
    Not consistantly happy, but happy for the most part.

    I've been married 18 years, almost all of them happy :)

    If I can offer one piece of advice communication is key, it's when one or the other of us keeps stuff in too long that the unhappy side shows up!
  • fuzz_pawz
    fuzz_pawz Posts: 106
    I think the answer is yes....as long as you both work at it. It's normal to have "disagreements", so long as you learn from them, grow from them and move on together after them.

    My common-law husband and I have been together 6 years. I still love him as much as I did when I first met him...and we;ve had some pretty difficult times. but we pushed through.

    If it were ever at a point in which we could not work together...then we' have to re-visit this topic of yours :)
  • Nataliaho
    Nataliaho Posts: 878 Member
    I think so, yes. However I think the thing to remember is that your relationship is unique and the kind of person that you and your partner are will largely determines what kind of relationship you have. My husband and I are very happy, however we do argue and we do fight. But that is the kind of people we are. I think I would have that kind of relationship with anyone... either that or I would just bully them...
  • byrnet18
    byrnet18 Posts: 230 Member
    I've been with my husband for 11 years and I would say we are both very lucky to have found each other. We are best friends and have never had a fight. Disagreements yes, but we've never not spoken to each other out of anger. I would say when it's the right person then you'll know.
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
    Love is a choice. Sure there are all kinds of feelings that go along with it, but ultimately it's making a choice every day (sometimes every five minutes) to love a person. So yeah, it's possible.
  • momshorses
    momshorses Posts: 376 Member
    When you find the right one it is amazing. My husband and I have been married for almost 19 years now. I won't say there are not days that are rough, we are still 2 separate people even though we are one entity though marriage. I was once told that there is usually a "bump in the road" around the 7 year mark. When it happened, I was not surprised. It still wasn't easy, but knowing that it was "normal" helped.

    We were warned before we got married not to mention separation or divorce in an argument... or any time for that matter. As soon as you mention it, it becomes an option. We chose right from the beginning that it wasn't an option. We love and respect each other enough to always want to work things out.

    I am rambling now, but am so in love with my husband.. It just keeps getting better. Love is an action, not a feeling. It is a choice. I choose to make sure my hubby knows every day that he is the most important person in my life. He is wonderful and awesome.... Ahhh......:heart:
  • JediMaster_intraining
    JediMaster_intraining Posts: 903 Member
    I believe in a thing called love.

    But it has to be with the right person for you (involving respect and trust and whatnot).

    I'm really happy and content in my relationship of 6 years. Yeah we've been together since our freshman year in HS and we went through some crazy hormonal teenage stuff together. And now we have the occasional "old married couple" days. But overall, we've always been happy to have each other and grow together. We are getting our first apartment together (officially) in August. Yay! :heart:

    I wasn't expecting to find real love but it's wonderfully possible!
  • Gr8ChangesAhead
    Gr8ChangesAhead Posts: 836 Member
    Been with my husband since I was a teenager, I am now in my 40's . I can count on one hand how many arguments we have had. So I would say definetly YES it is possible
  • DataBased
    DataBased Posts: 513 Member
    What do you guys think? Is it possible to have a consistently happy relationship with a significant other?
    I suppose it depends on what your perception of happiness is. If you believe happiness is something external to you, something another can give you (and, by definition, deny you) then - no, I don't think a person who believes that way will have a consistently happy relationship with anybody.

    But if a person understand happiness to be something that is inside themselves... that it is a product of working harder than they've ever worked... facing disappointments and sorrow and growth and small victories alongside someone who means more to them than temporary pleasure... then yes, I think a person who believes this will find consistent happiness because they will bring it with them to the relationship.

    :flowerforyou:
  • crazy8ts
    crazy8ts Posts: 360
    When it's with the right person, then yes. It's completely possible. :) It won't always be sunshine and rainbows but if you're unhappy more times than you're happy in a relationship, then it may not be the right relationship for you.

    I concur... and will piggyback...

    I've always said, I'd rather have bad days than good days... 'cause the periodic 'bad day' is expected... but if I'm having 'good days' than it means that, on average, the balance of my days suck.

    I feel like that logic is VERY flawed.
    I'd hate to have the majority bad days.
    A bad day here and there is nothing when the majority is happiness.

    That was my point... people talk about having "good days".... IMO, you have "good days" when the majority of your days are bad... therefore, I would rather suffer through the periodic "bad day" because, by that logic, the bulk of my time is good, eh?
  • rachaela06
    rachaela06 Posts: 167
    You can have a relationship where you are consistently happy, my hubby and I are going on 12 years of marriage. Even if he gets under my skin and annoys me, there is no one else I would rather be annoyed with. There are always bumps in the road, it's how you cross the bumps as a couple that defines your relationship.

    After all that we are individuals, respecting that fact, we give each other time to enjoy our own things. I think that if you question your relationship more than you enjoy it, there is an issue that needs to be worked out.
  • Gr8ChangesAhead
    Gr8ChangesAhead Posts: 836 Member
    Been with my husband since I was a teenager, I am now in my 40's . I can count on one hand how many arguments we have had. So I would say definetly YES it is possible
    Forgot to add 4 kids and neither of us has ever left the house without telling the other we love them..... And we have very dysfunctional familys...LOL
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
    Consistently happy? Yes, absolutely. CONSTANTLY happy? No.

    There's a difference between consistent and constant, and I think in this case it's an important difference. If you fight sometimes but are consistently happy, that seems pretty normal to me. Constant happiness is not realistic.

    I would argue that over the course of a long marriage, there may even be whole years where you are not happy very often. They usually pass, I think, and that's the important test: whether or not they do indeed pass and things improve. But you gotta stick it out for a while to see that. :smile:
  • misscristie
    misscristie Posts: 643 Member
    Consistently happy? Yes, absolutely. CONSTANTLY happy? No.

    This. I've been with my husband for 11 years - 9 of which we've been married. There are moments when he really pisses me off, but they pass as quickly as they come and I love him more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow :) True story! :)
  • Bethie_B
    Bethie_B Posts: 292 Member
    Why would you consider being in a relationship where you weren't consistently happy?
  • MustBeTheRows
    MustBeTheRows Posts: 377 Member
    Every relationship has it's ups and downs. I know my relationship is real because no matter how much we fight, no matter bad things get, neither one of us wants to be anywhere else.
  • TimN1974
    TimN1974 Posts: 32
    A guy's perspective - most certainly! My wife and I met in 1972 in high school. We married in 1975. This year we will celebrate 37 years of marriage. Some times are rocky, the vast majority are good. I tell people that are considering marriage if they have not yet had a big fight and made up, they have not yet tested the relationship.
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    What do you guys think? Is it possible to have a consistently happy relationship with a significant other?

    I'm consistently happy after a 1-night relationship. So yeah...it's possible.
  • Jain
    Jain Posts: 861 Member
    Yes, to a point.
    I've been married 22 years last month. Most of the time we're very happy together & still very much in love. But there have been times over the years when I could have happily walked out on his *kitten*, and I'm sure there have been times he's felt the same about me. But marriage is a lifetime commitment & worth the work & effort it takes. So we've worked thru our problems & our relationship has ended up stronger.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Every relationship has it's ups and downs. I know my relationship is real because no matter how much we fight, no matter bad things get, neither one of us wants to be anywhere else.

    Well said! Hubby and I had a disagreement Monday night and although both of us stewed about it, we were pretty much over it and able to act mostly normal with each other by last night. It's a wonderful feeling to be that secure in a relationship... I'm so crazy about that man, even when he's pissing me off, I'd still rather hang out with him than anyone else.

    ETA: we've been together over 14 years and married for over 3
  • kristelpoole
    kristelpoole Posts: 440 Member
    Never been more consistently happy in my entire life. My boyfriend is my best friend and I can't imagine my life without him. Even just thinking about him right now makes me smile!

    So yes, it's possible. :)
  • Thesoundofwolf
    Thesoundofwolf Posts: 378 Member
    Yes.
    Its just all about communication with the partner.

    But before you can offer a partner anything, you have to love and know yourself. A whole person with a whole person.

    having to support a broken person is a weight no one should have to do all the time. A partner is your equal, not your crutch, and not your stepping stool. There will be times when one faulters, the other one will pick back up to be on par. Always at the same place however.

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