Suportive Signifacnt Others Or Are They Making It Harder?

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xBettyBoopx
xBettyBoopx Posts: 11
in Introduce Yourself
I am not sure if you guys are having the same problem as me, I have asked my bf to please be suportive and not sit and eat a bag of chips in front of mo or worse pester, nag, bug and whine to go out to mcdonalds or out to eat. Most of the time I cheat (not all but most) it is becasuse i just gave up and said yea fine it is right there lets get something. Every time we walk threw the food court of the mall he picks out my faverit food and asks me if i want it.

I know it is just becasue he is a big child not that he is trying interntionlly to hinder my secsses. I personly think it is very rude. I told him he was welcome to go get a job and get mc donalds every day if he wanted. just please stop asking me if i want it.

dragging me to the doughnuts is not helping me and i crave sweets when i am upset i am an emptional eater so when he gets to me last time i was so mad i eat 6 doughnuts when i got home. (I need to find a way to curve that lol)

I started on here yesterday and had baklava in the coboard. he asked me today if i wanted it i told him twice to throw it out for me please so i dont have the temption to eat it. he put it beside me on the bed and when i smelled it i ate it. i know if i can keep them away from me i can not eat them.

I even told him it is only for a few weeks when i get back into eating healthy i will not wants all the junk so for a week i asked him if he is goin to eat junk eat it away from me. Instead he pulls me down the junk isle at the store and asks for everything.

Am I Asking To Much?
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Replies

  • Anitamarhea
    Anitamarhea Posts: 14
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    Boy! What a mess!! Could it be possible he doesn't think you need to lose any weight? Or is he just dreading the "healthy food" you will inevitably shove down his throat? :noway: My hubby is similar to this! He watched me put all this healthy, whole grain and fresh veggies in the shopping cart, then grinned as he added two packages of brownies to it! Grrrrr Unfortunately, this is my fault. I have yo-yo dieted, and spent so much money in the past on every diet known to man and every wacko food product, that he simply doesn't believe I have any will-power or determination left in me. I keep telling him that, just like when I quit smoking, I WILL succeed one day and every time I try, it's like throwing poo, SOMETHING sticks every time!! (sorry... farm reference there!) Some days he's really great, like automatically bringing me a water and other days he's being "sweet" and brings me a Snickers bar. I think he thinks that I secretly am dying for it and I'm just too embarrassed to admit it and he is "helping" me out. I will say, though, I have noticed that when I exercise and he sees me making good food choices every day he relaxes and comes to expect me to continue. He actually is irritated when I stop trying. Basically, I think if it is important enough for me to bend his ear (talking about my goals, food and new exercises I found) for hours then he feels like I wasted his time, and mine, if I quit. Remember, people don't like change, and this is a big one. Keep going and it will become the "normal" way of eating and he will soon accept it and even help you make good choices!! Sounds crazy, but it works for me!! Don't give up!!! Also, encourage your friends and family to join..it's hard to fight a gaggle of you health-nuts!!!
  • RustyIron
    RustyIron Posts: 21
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    I too have a hubby that loves junk and eats it all the time! Last night we ate Tilapia and he complained that it wasn't MEAT. He was still hungry! So most of the time I make what I want and cook what he wants too. It takes more planning on my part and that can get really annoying. As far as the cravings - my hubby askes me everytime he eats chips or cookies if I want one. I kindly reply no, then he askes again....more sternly I say no thank youuuuu. Then the third time he asks I just yell at him - Jerk, I said no!!!!!!!!!
    My defense is to make sure your drinking tons of water! Also make sure your eating breakfast - SNACK- lunch -SNack - dinner. Seams simple but snacking has been a new concept for me and I love it. If you crave sweets - eat fruit! Natural sugar. I prefer raspberries on yogurt. I eat smoothies like crazy! They are sweet, creamy and pretty darn simple to make. Us ladies with junk food junkies in the house really have to work on will power!!! Don't cave - you can do it. Ok so once in awhile lets say you give in to the hubby - don't beat yourself up about it. Work harder on exercise the next day and forget it ever happened!!!! Good luck, I feel your pain!!!!
  • seekingstrengthX2
    seekingstrengthX2 Posts: 771
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    Sounds like you need new friends.
  • iiiEllie
    iiiEllie Posts: 224 Member
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    Have you tried actually sitting him down and talking to him about it? I had to do that with my boyfriend, he was completely supportive of me wanting to get in better shape but had the tendency to ask if I wanted (insert favorite) on a daily base because he was just too used to seeing if I wanted something. Thankfully he doesn't eat junk food of any sort, but being asked if I wanted Wendys every day made it a pain to get through the first 10 days.

    I had to sit him down and tell him I appreciated him asking and caring about what I want, but that my willpower was crap to say no currently until I get adapted to not having (insert favorite)

    Try having a very real conversation about it with him.
  • ash190489
    ash190489 Posts: 587 Member
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    Geez. I'd get rid of him. It's not like he's even got to go over the top and support you every step of the way, but just simply do the right thing and respect your wishes - he's not making it a little bit harder, he's making it impossible. Sit him down, talk to him, get him to understand, if he still continues to sabotage you and make your life hell, I'd tell him to either change or get lost.
  • AbzRocks
    AbzRocks Posts: 45
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    That seems really mean. You need to find a way to be strong. I don't talk about eating healthy with my partner, I just do it. But then again he won't put me in that situation of feeling as though I have to eat it. I'd try to find out why your bf is trying to sabotage your efforts, sound like he is scared of you losing weight.
  • ash190489
    ash190489 Posts: 587 Member
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    This is your HEALTH and WELLBEING we're talking about. I can't believe he wouldn't care enough about you and love you enough to GROW UP, GET REAL and support you!!!! I am sorry, I just can't imagine if my significant other did these things, I could have never succeeded; yes there were times he got take away etc. but it wasn't anywhere near the extent of your SO. I feel so sorry for you!!!!! :cry:
  • seekingstrengthX2
    seekingstrengthX2 Posts: 771
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    :mad: Loser.
    Ditch him.
  • ShrinkingShawna
    ShrinkingShawna Posts: 186 Member
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    My husband eats healthy with me, however he does like his sweets and still eats things I'm not allowed to eat anymore. But he's not trying to lose weight, I am. You have to decide that you've had enough of being over weight and make the choice to eat right. You can't force anyone to do it with you. Anyone but yourself that is, because believe me some days you have to force yourself to do it!

    My suggestion is to (if your budget allows) see a dietician. Mine is only $26 a month, and I see her once a week. When she told me I had to stop drinking soda, I did it! When she gave me the menu, I stuck to it! I have had bad food, I'm not perfect. But because I get weighed every week, I've become fearful of not losing weight, or worse, gaining! The lbs are dropping and that's what keeps me going.

    You have to do this for yourself. Believe me, I'm one of the most co-dependent women in the world when it comes to my husband. But I don't want to die of a heart attack either.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
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    Does he struggle with weight problems too? Perhaps he is secretly worried that if you get a rocking bod, you will end up leaving him for someone hotter. My ex loved the results of me being fit, but was obsessed with needing to be a faster runner, to weigh less, to lose more inches.

    When it finally ended, his position was that "he knew he never should have let me go running".

    I won't tell you to leave him, but will say to be careful, because that behavior triggers massive warning bells in my head.
  • gatorginger
    gatorginger Posts: 947 Member
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    My husband is supportive but the only problem I have is he likes to eat what I buy for me and then eat his junk food too. I don't mind him eating the healthy stuff but it makes it hard on me when he eats both. But just this past week he has decided to try to do this so now I am trying to make sure there is enough of the low cal foods for both of us. What I would suggest is when you bf puts stuff in front of you grab a bottle of water and drink it and then hopefully you won't be tempted.
  • ShrinkingShawna
    ShrinkingShawna Posts: 186 Member
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    By the way, I don't think you should "get rid of him". If you love someone, you don't dump them because of their food choice. I sure am glad my husband didn't dump me when I got like this!
  • Nikstergirl
    Nikstergirl Posts: 1,549 Member
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    My husband is supportive of me eating well but has little interest in it himself. I will say that when we go out, he lets me pick so I can pick a place that I know I can pick something healthy, but since he's on the road most of the week we don't daily have issues. He eats crap all the time as a trucker and I am trying to get him to see how happy I am with a healthy lifestyle and while he is willing to try, he's not completely on board yet. Small changes for sure. That said, he's very good about not throwing candy at me (he used to do this) or offering to buy ice cream. Now if I ask for it, he says "are you sure" and either I treat myself or I don't. It's my decision. Sometimes after a long run I want a freaking ice cream... no biggie. He knows this!! If he wasn't supportive of me I'd have to decide which was more important, my long-term health and happiness or my relationship. Since I've been married 18 years, we have a great line of communication, but if we didn't, I'd seriously have to consider my options.

    Communication is key. If he doesn't get it, he may have to get out. If you're not married, that is. If you are, I'd seriously consider a couples therapist!!!! Heck, that may help even if you're not married!!!
  • Biggipooh
    Biggipooh Posts: 350
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    Hah, my husband eats junkfood all the time. Yesterday he had a big burger and french fries and asked me if I wanted any leftovers. later on he had cheeseballs etc. He eats it right in front of me. I don't think, they think anything bad when they do it. Lucky for me. I have such a strong mind, that I simply don't care. I can watch people eating this food right in front of me without getting the desire for it. I know, it is bad food and my belly doesn't want this stuff. Once your mind is set up, nothing will stop you from eating healthy and you will not care. Think about, how bad this food is and what the ingredients are. And when the desire despite this gets stronger, eat something very high in protein, like cottage cheese or eggs.
  • teresadutton
    teresadutton Posts: 232 Member
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    My husband is supportive but he doesnt need to lose weight and he still eats junk. I cook 2 dinners everynight..1 for me and 1 for him and the kids. It sucks but thats what I do. Him eatting the junk in front of me doesnt bother me what bothers me is when he eats out and then has to tell me in deatil what he ate ( I love to eat out but dont anymore). But 98% of the time he is wonderful and supportive!
  • Adsnwfld
    Adsnwfld Posts: 262 Member
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    Sorry you have someone who is so unsupportive. He is very immature to think that it is funny to see you fail. It is up to you to resist, It is hard but you can eat OK at most fast food places, avoid the fries and soda and most menu items won't break you. You have the power to tell him NO. Make a scene if you have to to get the point across and if he won't get it, it might be a sign that he doesn't respect you anyway, and in that case send him to the curb.
    It is your body and life, everything is harder when overweight, especially children and just enjoying yourself. I binge eat if I have one I can't stop. The stuff is sometimes in the house I have to say NO.
    You can do it also.
    Good Luck.
    keep at it, you are worth it.
  • teresadutton
    teresadutton Posts: 232 Member
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    Hah, my husband eats junkfood all the time. Yesterday he had a big burger and french fries and asked me if I wanted any leftovers. later on he had cheeseballs etc. He eats it right in front of me. I don't think, they think anything bad when they do it. Lucky for me. I have such a strong mind, that I simply don't care. I can watch people eating this food right in front of me without getting the desire for it. I know, it is bad food and my belly doesn't want this stuff. Once your mind is set up, nothing will stop you from eating healthy and you will not care. Think about, how bad this food is and what the ingredients are. And when the desire despite this gets stronger, eat something very high in protein, like cottage cheese or eggs.

    Yep I 1000% agree!!
  • leilaphoenix
    leilaphoenix Posts: 839 Member
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    Tell him he has got to be supportive. Plan together any meals out. Only buy junk food that he likes and you don't like.
  • christina_theresa
    christina_theresa Posts: 290 Member
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    :flowerforyou:
  • amallia921
    amallia921 Posts: 51
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    My husband will support me to the end of the world. I just dont think he knows the complete meaning to this word. lol Like last night, I'm sitting on the couch working on a blanket I am making for a friend and he comes in with a bowl of strawberry ice cream. And says, "Look what I got for my love! Your favorite Ice Cream!" I dont blame him, some men just dont understand. And he tries to do it out of goodness. But your man doesnt sound like he is. It sounds like he just doesnt want you to diet. My husband tells me I dont need to lose weight all the time. So, maybe that is the reason or maybe not. I think it is time for you to sit him done and have a chit-chat. See what he is thinking and why he is doing it. And dont listen to that "I dont know why" (<-- My husbands favorite line... lol) There is a reason for everything. Bottom line is, you are strong and you will be able to do this!!! You have our support and always will!

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