Suportive Signifacnt Others Or Are They Making It Harder?

Men are just big kids, generally. Mine has developed a comedy routine of sitting on the sofa trying to pretend that he isn't eating jumk - usually by hiding his face behind a cushion so I can't see him, and to muffle the munching noises. He sometimes buys me sweets and things, but I've got quite good at putting them away for another day.

The issue with your bf not having a job does sound a bit worrying. Why are you funding his expensive junk when you could be saving money and getting healthy by, well, not buying junk? Sometimes children just need to be told "No", and the same goes for him by the sound of it.

My husband is very supportive of me and I'm lucky to have such a great man. He does most the cooking, cooperates with swapping out ingredients for me, telling me measurements for my diary, etc. At the same time, he has completely different nutritional needs than I do as he is a construction worker, works hard, out doors, all day, 6 days a week.... so he eat LOTS of things I can't have, I pack him up more calories in his "snack cooler" with his gaterade and water than I can have all day. Guess maybe my point is support is great but you also have to be responsible for your own choices. Good Luck!!

Does he struggle with weight problems too? Perhaps he is secretly worried that if you get a rocking bod, you will end up leaving him for someone hotter. My ex loved the results of me being fit, but was obsessed with needing to be a faster runner, to weigh less, to lose more inches.

When it finally ended, his position was that "he knew he never should have let me go running".

I won't tell you to leave him, but will say to be careful, because that behavior triggers massive warning bells in my head.

I have to agree w/ this gal. Seriously you have 2 issues... 1 you are trying to make a huge lifestyle change and 2 you are still dragging around your old lifestyle and trying to make them fit together. Sorry if this is really blunt but..... you're likely going to have to make a choice..... old or new. It's a hard place to be in but know that online friends are here (and they just keep coming). Good luck!

My boyfriend is incredibly supportive of my fitness endeavors and even wakes up early every Sunday morning to go for a run with me. In fact, he joined me for a couple of 5Ks as well, just to be my "coach" during the slower moments when I needed a little push (he literally placed his hand on my back and pushed me along at one point to the amusement of the other runners around us :laugh:)

However, in no way do I try to impose my eating restrictions on him when it comes to meal times. We frequently go out to restaurants and instead of making it a point that I'm making a smarter decision, I just do it and he orders whatever he wants. I think this helps because he knows that I am not going to try and change what we do together, I am just changing my approach to it. I don't whine at the table and say "Aw, man, I wish I could just get the fries with this like you do!" I make the decision (usually) to replace the fries with veggies, without even mentioning my thought process to him. (I will, however, steal a fry from his plate occasionally! :blushing: )

You are always going to find temptation regarding food and it is very easy to blame those around us for offering "this" or pushing "that" unhealthy item. In the end, it is up to you whether you eat it or not. It sounds to me like it is almost a game between you and your SO when it comes to the junk food. You say no...he teases you with it...you give in...and it starts over the next day. Just begin saying no and even if he never stops offering, you'll feel much better about yourself for having the will power to resist. :drinker:

You have to make a fully conscious choice to really love yourself and not let anyone dictate what you put in your mouth. If he drags you to the donuts, right then, ask him why. Say, honey, don't you want me to be healthy? What's going on? Each time it happens confront him, get into why he's doing it, then evaluate the situation. When I am really craving something bad, I just remember what it tastes like, but tell myself I can think of the taste in my head, I don't need it in my mouth and on my hips. When I used to go to weight watchers meetings a long time ago, the leader brought in test tubes of actual fat, in amounts that were in burgers, etc, I try to picture all that disgusting fat in my body. Makes me want to eat broccoli instead.

Its scary when your sig other starts making changes. Eating and exercise are major lifestyle changes, and your boyfriend might be resentful, worried about losing you, worried about having to make changes himself, or just clueless to how important this is to you. Perhaps he thinks this whole "diet thing" is just a call for attention and thinks the proper way to deal with it is give you gifts (put the food you like near you to make you happy.) Or worse case scenario, he might be hoping this is all a phase and is trying to end it so that everything can return to normal.
Whatever is going on, talk to him first. Find out what he is thinking.

I am (at least I think I am) sort of the opposite. Most of the people that I see on MFP are women I am a man and I am thankful that I have a great supporting partner in my wife. I do tend to think that guys are not quite as insightful as to what support is all about because as the saying goes: "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus" it's true. But dare I say it my wife has never been satisfied with her body (although I think she's gorgeous) and I've always been on the bigger side of average and never really tried to do anything about it. On the surface I made sure that everyone knew I was comfortable with myself but, deep down I wasn't. But because I'm a man ego played a big part in helping me "pretend" all was good. Women tend to wear their emotions on their sleeve and always let you know how they feel. I say all of this because this is the reason a lot of women can find it hard to get support from their male partners. I was and am to some extent, your typical man, I've just learned to accept that you don't need to put up a front and that it's okay to show vulnerability. My wife is more understanding when it comes to feelings and she has certainly helped me and gave me the support I needed and still need, to make myself a better more healthier person. And this in turn has helped me to be supportive of her and her goals.

Just take the time with your partner(s) have an honest conversation of what you need, what you need to hear, and how you need understanding, encouragement and at times supportive and constructive criticism. Us men really don't have a clue until you let us know. But we also have to do our part and be willing to grow as people and let our ego's or our "manliness" not get in the way.

The most important thing is that you don't give in. It is your choice what you eat. My husband supports me, but eats whatever he wants and we have some goodies in the cupboard for the kids. I choose to eat the way I want to and not give in to cravings. Although it would nice for support and to not be begged into bad food, it is ultimately you who has the choice on what you eat and no blame should be put on your s/o. Good luck.

I can only echo what others have said before me - I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling, and that your boyfriend is unsupportive. I'm very fortunate in that my boyfriend is hugely supportive of my weight loss and what I'm undergoing to achieve it. He is very different to me - naturally slender, with the metabolism of a speeding bullet. He can munch and munch and munch and it won't touch the sides, whereas I so much as look at a slice of cake and I might as well smear it straight on my stomach. But he cooks healthy meals for me when I visit, and offers constant support and advice.

I think that the support of others, whether that's a partner or your friends, is hugely important to progress and confidence when losing weight and the opposite can be hugely damaging and a massive hinderance. You are making a positive change for your health and your life; anyone trying to sabotage that doesn't have your best interests at heart.

I have to say it sounds like you are dating a child,he doesnt work,doesnt clean,and whines an pouts when he doesnt gget his way.
It sounds like you are in a relationship with a three year old. To me thats a bigger problem than him tempting you with food

I have to say it sounds like you are dating a child,he doesnt work,doesnt clean,and whines an pouts when he doesnt gget his way.
It sounds like you are in a relationship with a three year old. To me thats a bigger problem than him tempting you with food

My thoughts exactly.

I have to say it sounds like you are dating a child,he doesnt work,doesnt clean,and whines an pouts when he doesnt gget his way.
It sounds like you are in a relationship with a three year old. To me thats a bigger problem than him tempting you with food

My thoughts exactly.

my thoughts exactly X2!


My hubby and kids support me. They will eat anything I put in front of them. We made a rule to only eat out fridays and/or saturdays and from sunday on I cook healthy and we eat at home. I dont buy junk food or sweets. I fill our cookie jars with low fat chex mix and sweet and salty trail mix. Good luck to you. I hope the both of you can meet somewhere in the middle.

My husband is very supportive. He is on his own weight loss journey and it's great having another thing to share. He is an avid recipe hunter and a huge fan of Hungry Girl dishes.

Ouch. Yes you do need somebody supportive, especially if you can't support yourself.

Sorry honey , but you have to learn to avoid temptation. That is the hardest part.

Tell your boyfriend to go **** himself, and go do YOU!

You can do it!!! Just have to have willpower, strength and believe in yourself!

You are the only person who can change, your boyfriend, or anyone else who wants to drag you down, should be left in the dust.

Good luck girl!!