Needing a mental hug today.

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Fockertots
Fockertots Posts: 221
in Motivation and Support
So I just admitted something to myself and now I’m crying like an idiot. I’ve been in a funk recently and I’ve had a hard time figuring out what the cause was. Finally, I’m being honest with myself and I’m aware that it’s because I’m afraid my family isn’t going to be proud of me. Through the year and a half that I’ve lived in California (away from home in Missouri) I’ve lost almost 60 pounds. My body is re-shaped (due to weight loss and my age) and I feel absolutely beautiful in my own skin for the first time in my life.

I keep my family (mainly my mother) updated on my accomplishments and then she gushes to the rest of the family about them. I post pictures of my life on Facebook and my friends and family blow up the comments, saying things like, “Sara, you’re disappearing,” “Sara, you’re so small now,” “Sara, I can’t wait to see this progress in person.” It all makes me feel great, because I know that I’ve made a difference in my appearance, but more importantly I know that my person is far better off now than I’ve ever been.

With all of that being said, I’m absolutely terrified to see them. I am going home in three weeks and instead of being happy, I’m actually dreading it. I look at the same pictures that they do and smile, but then can look in the mirror (on a bad night) and not see anything pretty or positive. I’m afraid that they’re expecting me to get off of the plane and be a size 10 and I’m nowhere near that. I know that I’m getting worked up over something that is just an assumption that I’ve made, but I’m not one to devalue my feelings, no matter if I know they’re silly or not.

I’m not posting this because I’m fishing for comments. I’m not even sure why I’m posting this, other than I thought that putting it on paper would make me own it and would help me be aware of it in a way that I can hopefully adapt the feelings and turn all of this around. Also, I wanted to know if anyone else has ever been in this place and what they did to help get their mind right. Please don’t tell me to restrict calories or kick up my exercising, because that’s not the issue at hand. I want to know what you’ve done to increase your mental health in a situation like this.

Thanks for listening (reading).

Replies

  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    this is some reverse puppy sht.

    you know how, when you have friends that have a puppy or a baby, and they see that puppy or baby every day- they realise its changing shape as time goes by- but because they see it everyday- they are blinded by the actual amount of change because its all so gradual on a daily basis for them?

    and then you come over, after not having been there for like... 2 weeks.... and youre all ZOMG YOUR BABY/PUPPY GOT HUMONGOUS!!!!! and they are like REALLY?? and you are like TOTALLY BRO.

    The moral of this story is, they will see your hard work's physical evidence and you will be a-ok lady :flowerforyou:
  • stratusofkiser
    stratusofkiser Posts: 54 Member
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    I think posting this and admitting to yourself that you have this problem will help you alot! I try and just stay positive, they are your family and will love you and accept you no matter what, and your losing weight, Im sure they will be even more suprised when they see you in real life rather than a picture. Keep up the good work! If you feel this as a very serious problem you may seek out either someone to talk to be it counseling or just a good friend, keep a support system. I hope you feel better! And you are beautiful, dont worry about it :smile:
  • curlygirly80
    curlygirly80 Posts: 176
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    this is some reverse puppy sht.

    you know how, when you have friends that have a puppy or a baby, and they see that puppy or baby every day- they realise its changing shape as time goes by- but because they see it everyday- they are blinded by the actual amount of change because its all so gradual on a daily basis for them?

    and then you come over, after not having been there for like... 2 weeks.... and youre all ZOMG YOUR BABY/PUPPY GOT HUMONGOUS!!!!! and they are like REALLY?? and you are like TOTALLY BRO.

    The moral of this story is, they will see your hard work's physical evidence and you will be a-ok lady :flowerforyou:

    Couldn't have said it any better!
  • Flyer615
    Flyer615 Posts: 173 Member
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    It sounds like you have a very supportive family. I'm fairly certain (based on what you've said) that they love and support you no matter what. We are always our own worst critic. I've stood in front of a mirror many times and said things to myself that I would never tolerate from another person. My advice would be to relax and give yourself a break. Concentrate on getting to see family members that you haven't seen. In your mind, try to make it about the joy of visiting home, rather than feeling like you're going to be facing an audience naked (not literally, of course). Just look forward to seeing everyone again.

    Endeavor to persevere.
  • NYChick84
    NYChick84 Posts: 331 Member
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    Sweetie, be proud of your accomplishments!!!!! This a journey, not a race!! Step off of that plane and FLAUNT your body!! You're beautiful inside and out!!! Don't worry about what anyone has to think or say....not even family. My family is the most critical of all people.....I just keep telling myself that they're arrogant and ignorant.....As long as you're losing weight, and not gaining weight...you're fine!! There is no one to impress...this is your journey....keep telling yourself this!! xoxoxoxoxo
  • Pakitalian
    Pakitalian Posts: 218 Member
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    (((((((((HUGS))))))))))) Hakunah Mata ta :flowerforyou:
  • clharmon79
    clharmon79 Posts: 3
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    *HUGS* Your family loves you for who you are, not what you look like. They will be proud if you lost 50 pounds or 3. Heck, they would still be proud of you if you hadn't lost anything. You have a connection with a loving family. That is all that matters.

    My Grandmother taught me something a long time ago that helps......get a picture of the St Louis skyline at dusk and when you can't see the beauty in you, look at it and say that is how beautiful I am inside.
  • Fockertots
    Fockertots Posts: 221
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    My Grandmother taught me something a long time ago that helps......get a picture of the St Louis skyline at dusk and when you can't see the beauty in you, look at it and say that is how beautiful I am inside.
    I keep pictures of the sun seting over the ocean, in my apartment, for that very reason.

    Thank you to all of you who responded. I think I'm just going through something right now and you're all right: my family is amazing and will support me no matter my progress. I think I've been having problems with being depressed about not seeing any progress recently and I'm just projecting that mindset onto them. Not a good idea.

    I already feel better and I really appreciate that you took the time to respond. :]
  • NeedANewFocus
    NeedANewFocus Posts: 898 Member
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    **HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS** :flowerforyou:


    Do yourself a favor and invent a new outlook when you look in the mirror.

    Make remarks about who you are instead of making remarks on who you arent! LOVE the person you are. Enjoy the person you are. Revel in the greatness, the sexiness, and the amazingness that you are. You are dedicated and focused on creating a healthy you. Therefore, you're efforts and accomplishments deserve recognition.

    You are a strong accomplished woman! Your family and friends see that. It's time you see and SAY IT too. Pronounce your fame as you gaze upon your glorious features as artistically displayed by your mirror. Subsequently, THANK YOURSELF for the good will nature by which you congratulate yourself as it is well DESERVED!

    **HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS** :flowerforyou:
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    60lbs is no joke.

    You should be omega proud.

    Also, ditto reverse puppy.

    :heart:
  • _HeathBar_
    _HeathBar_ Posts: 902 Member
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    I think we all have insecurities like this some days. You family sounds like great people and I'm sure they'll be super proud of you.

    :flowerforyou:
  • Fockertots
    Fockertots Posts: 221
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    Thank you everyone for the awesome words. I'm honestly feeling SO much better right now.

    Sometimes I think I need to just break down and get it over with, ha ha.

    The support is immensely appreciated.
  • bookfaery
    bookfaery Posts: 53 Member
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    *BIG SQUEEZY HUGS*

    You know what will remind you of how much weight you've lost? Getting on that plane, without those 60 extra lbs. You'll still be uncomfortable, because, you know, FLYING, but that seat belt will fit better and you'll have a bit more room. Unless they've shrunk the seats again. Which is entirely possible.

    Seriously, reverse puppy. You can't see it anymore because you are too close to it. And no matter what people say or don't say, just remember that you are fabulous! Enjoy your trip! :)

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