Frinds that don't "support"

Meg_78
Meg_78 Posts: 998 Member
edited December 19 in Chit-Chat
Durr that should be *FRIENDS!

What is the point of having friends on MFP if you don't cheer each other on and make supportive comments (or at least some kind of comment?) I don't understand, why people send FR, then don't ever post on your comments or achievements, I am a big supporter of all my friends achievements with the "Well done's", and "WTG's", and most of them are just the same, and we have a ton of fun but I have decided, if my "friends" are not supporting me too, I'm just going to delete them, cause they are just taking up space.

I have people that have sent me a FR then not ever said one thing to me! Why bother??

Replies

  • Mockingjay_24
    Mockingjay_24 Posts: 44
    I could not agree more!
    I also delete people who don't bother to encourage!
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
    A subject which has been brought up many times. Some people are collectors. Some dive in and start blasting out requests with good intentions, and then end up with more than they can handle.

    Easy solution is to just remove them after a "reasonable" time period.
  • DAMNCHARLIE
    DAMNCHARLIE Posts: 569
    I posted something similiar to this a few weeks ago ( I went on a slightly hungry rant that day). Its true I get friend requests all day long and hear/read nothing from them. I have deleted the obvious ones that just want a lot of "numbers" on their friend list. I am a great cheerleader, I just cant understand it myself.
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
    I'm not personally here for random people to encourage me. I'm here for me. I'm friends with people to share and exchange knowledge. I couldn't care less if they pat me on the back or not, and quite honestly, I'm not a "back patter." if you hit your goals, great for you. If you're struggling and need advice, ask. I'm not here to hold anybody accountable for themselves except me. The friends I have understand that. If they have questions, they can ask me. If they have knowledge, I'll gladly learn from them. Just random "atta-boys?" That's not what I'm here for, or what I do.

    Celebrating a major accomplishment is one thing, a new personal record, or reaching final weight loss goals, but just to give praise to someone for doing the basics of what this site is about to me is t being encouraging, it's coddling, and that doesn't help anybody. If you're only doing the things you're supposed to be doing to get praise from friends on this site, then you're doing it wrong.
  • Meg_78
    Meg_78 Posts: 998 Member
    I'm more PO'd that people bother to send a FR if they are not even going to acknowledge you (I mean support like that too, not just the WTG's), I don't need the encouragement, (Not that it isn't nice) but why friend someone if you have nothing at all to offer on anything??
    I'm not personally here for random people to encourage me. I'm here for me. I'm friends with people to share and exchange knowledge. I couldn't care less if they pat me on the back or not, and quite honestly, I'm not a "back patter." if you hit your goals, great for you. If you're struggling and need advice, ask. I'm not here to hold anybody accountable for themselves except me. The friends I have understand that. If they have questions, they can ask me. If they have knowledge, I'll gladly learn from them. Just random "atta-boys?" That's not what I'm here for, or what I do.

    Celebrating a major accomplishment is one thing, a new personal record, or reaching final weight loss goals, but just to give praise to someone for doing the basics of what this site is about to me is t being encouraging, it's coddling, and that doesn't help anybody. If you're only doing the things you're supposed to be doing to get praise from friends on this site, then you're doing it wrong.
  • _EmmaStrong_
    _EmmaStrong_ Posts: 647 Member
    @tigersworld - I have to disagree, giving praise for the "basics" of what this site is about, is not "coddling". It is pure and simple "motivation". So many people here need that. Some have never received any kind of praise from anyone, in their life. I for one, will motivate to the best of my ability. If they don't motivate me back, "oh well". It's like the old addage "love isn't love if you expect to get love in return". Everyone needs to hear "Well done" or "You're doing great", or "Good for you". It instills a sense of accomplishment. There is nothing wrong with letting a person know that they did something "right." That IS what this site is all about. Motivation is the "key" to helping someone reach their weightloss goals. "MOTIVATION ISN'T MOTIVATION, IF YOU EXPECT MOTIVATION IN RETURN".
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,162 Member
    some people just add me to have me there :( i have added only about 10 people myself on here and i think i've kept them all :happy:
  • Nikki_42
    Nikki_42 Posts: 298 Member
    I'm not personally here for random people to encourage me. I'm here for me. I'm friends with people to share and exchange knowledge. I couldn't care less if they pat me on the back or not, and quite honestly, I'm not a "back patter." if you hit your goals, great for you. If you're struggling and need advice, ask. I'm not here to hold anybody accountable for themselves except me. The friends I have understand that. If they have questions, they can ask me. If they have knowledge, I'll gladly learn from them. Just random "atta-boys?" That's not what I'm here for, or what I do.

    Celebrating a major accomplishment is one thing, a new personal record, or reaching final weight loss goals, but just to give praise to someone for doing the basics of what this site is about to me is t being encouraging, it's coddling, and that doesn't help anybody. If you're only doing the things you're supposed to be doing to get praise from friends on this site, then you're doing it wrong.

    I basically completely agree with you. But I do try to say 'way to go' or something at times to let them know I care, I'm just busy. And I do wonder how many times you can write 'wtg' over and over on posts. It looks insincere, and I want people to know I'm actually reading their posts/diary, et.
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
    I'm not personally here for random people to encourage me. I'm here for me. I'm friends with people to share and exchange knowledge. I couldn't care less if they pat me on the back or not, and quite honestly, I'm not a "back patter." if you hit your goals, great for you. If you're struggling and need advice, ask. I'm not here to hold anybody accountable for themselves except me. The friends I have understand that. If they have questions, they can ask me. If they have knowledge, I'll gladly learn from them. Just random "atta-boys?" That's not what I'm here for, or what I do.

    Celebrating a major accomplishment is one thing, a new personal record, or reaching final weight loss goals, but just to give praise to someone for doing the basics of what this site is about to me is t being encouraging, it's coddling, and that doesn't help anybody. If you're only doing the things you're supposed to be doing to get praise from friends on this site, then you're doing it wrong.

    I basically completely agree with you. But I do try to say 'way to go' or something at times to let them know I care, I'm just busy. And I do wonder how many times you can write 'wtg' over and over on posts. It looks insincere, and I want people to know I'm actually reading their posts/diary, et.
    It's all about context. Somebody completing their diary, I don't praise that, that's basic stuff that should be done. I equate that to praising a student just because they wrote their name on the test. Dropping their first 10 pounds? That's an accomplishment worthy of praise.
  • darrcn5
    darrcn5 Posts: 495 Member
    I don't get this either. I have had people add me and then never say a word to me. I just wonder why they go through the trouble of adding someone if they aren't going to interact.
  • _EmmaStrong_
    _EmmaStrong_ Posts: 647 Member
    I don't get this either. I have had people add me and then never say a word to me. I just wonder why they go through the trouble of adding someone if they aren't going to interact.
    I have to agree, there are people that seem to add you, just to see how many "friends" they can get, and then NEVER comment on anything you do or accomplish. You have to wonder what their "motivation" really is. These are the friends, you may have to think about deleting. Although, I really hate the thought of doing that.
  • alana1966
    alana1966 Posts: 34
    I totally agree - I have "friends" that I have added because I thought we were of the same general age/goals and hoped for some interaction, and almost never hear a peep from anyone, although I try to comment on goals and questions whenever I can or if I feel I have something to add...
  • ebony467
    ebony467 Posts: 15
    lol wouldn't it be funny if some of those supposed "friends" got on, read this thread, then all started to post on your wall words of encouragement :P
  • WickedGarden
    WickedGarden Posts: 944 Member
    I'm terrible!

    I don't have a bunch of MFP friends, so whatever. I'm just not into the whole FB thing, posting on every single thing that everybody posts, On my FB, I have over 70 friends (which isn't a lot) but if I don't log in for a few days (like a holiday weekend) I feel so overwhelmed by all the posts I haven't seen.

    I am trying to be supportive of the people on my FL, but I don't log in on the comp every day, I still log my food on my phone, but I just need a break from the computer sometimes!

    Sorry to peeps on my FL! all 6 of them! (I think I still have 6...oh dear)
This discussion has been closed.

Categories