Losing support?

I wish I can help but I feel the same. At times, I think people prefer me to self-destruct or look for a reason to complain. Just stick with this. It would be nice to have support but if it has to be done alone, let it be. In the end you can say "I" did this and really mean it.

Is he insecure in your relationship or has the new lifestyle made him feel like you don't think he's good enough? Do you have the kind of relationship where you can discuss it?

As far as running, could you run in the morning or another time when it is less impact to you as a couple (only if you feel you need the time with him).

As far as food. Can you sneak in healthy stuff and he won't know. I do that all the time with the kids. Chicken picante, white turkey hot dogs, uber lean meats and veggie meals, brown rice mixes, etc.

I think if you are trying to communicate with him and try to work a way around him wanting to do it, or trying to get him to eat healthy, and if he still isn't up for it.. Then you should be focusing on you.. Even if he does not want to support you in what you are doing, you still have everyone in this community who will always support you. So as you know any concerns you can discuss it on here. Don't give up on yourself though. If you continue and reach your goals in life, then you will feel so good about yourself and have your own self to thank. It's a great feeling. So stay strong and you can do it..

I dont think he is insecure in the relationship....at least he has never given me any indication before. We do have a very open, communicative relationship, and I have tried to discuss it with him but I always get the same response "I just dont want to". And I am fine with that much....I just wish he could support me in what I am doing, you know what I mean?

I do usually run in the mornings, at 530am, so that I can leave the evenings for him and our son, but there are times that it just happens that I skip the morning, and then it usually ends up with me skipping it altogether because he HAS to go to Walmart or we HAVE to do this or that.

I can sneak in the healthy stuff if I cook when he isnt home...otherwise he is over my shoulder making sure I dont do that very thing lol

I don't know you, or your relationship, so this might seem harsh... this is concerning. He's really seeming anti- you getting healthy. I know he doesn't need to be running alongside you, cheering you on - but it kinda seems (from your posts) that he's actually starting to sabotage you. Making sure you don't choose healthier options, pulling the guilt card, making you skip your runs... it's kind of looking like a bad pattern. Maybe I'm way off, and I sure hope I am, cause all I can see of your life are these posts, but if this is repeated in your life in other areas you should have a sit down with him. Maybe he doesn't realize he's being this way, maybe he's afraid if you get stronger and hotter you won't want him anymore, who knows. But - when you love someone you need to make the effort to support something that's important to them. Just my two cents - from someone who had to have that talk with her own man before he stepped up and realized my health was important to me and so should be to him as well. Good luck!

I don't know you, or your relationship, so this might seem harsh... this is concerning. He's really seeming anti- you getting healthy. I know he doesn't need to be running alongside you, cheering you on - but it kinda seems (from your posts) that he's actually starting to sabotage you. Making sure you don't choose healthier options, pulling the guilt card, making you skip your runs... it's kind of looking like a bad pattern. Maybe I'm way off, and I sure hope I am, cause all I can see of your life are these posts, but if this is repeated in your life in other areas you should have a sit down with him. Maybe he doesn't realize he's being this way, maybe he's afraid if you get stronger and hotter you won't want him anymore, who knows. But - when you love someone you need to make the effort to support something that's important to them. Just my two cents - from someone who had to have that talk with her own man before he stepped up and realized my health was important to me and so should be to him as well. Good luck!

Its funny that you say that, because when I mentioned this whole thing to my cousin, the first thing she said was "Do you think he is worried that if you get to where you want to be physically, and mentally, you wont want him anymore?" I am going to talk to him about that tonight....I really hope thats not how he feels

This is exactly what I am thinking.... but, even if it isnt, he doesnt have any right to sabotage anything. He needs to have respect.

i too aren't supported by my husband. and when he thinks i'm "dieting" he buys in take aways and wants to eat unhealthy foods. but i started logging on here what i was eating all the time. and eating what i like and want to eat, i'd make sure my meals looked and smelled more inviting, and i'd make his plain. i'd pay attention to my own foods presentation but i'd not bother with his. i changed my dinner plates to smaller ones and changed little ways i cooked his unhealthy foods cause sometimes i have to eat them. and over time he doesn't know it but he's eating better and i'm mostly eating better. i wait until he goes out to the shop or to meet his friends so i can get a little exercise in. i do loose slower but i'm getting wiser to his moves and i can predict what he's looking at and what he see's me doing. that way i am still in control of my health. i still have to eat some take aways and junk food. but now i cann't actually eat very much of it and if i play with it long enough he doesn't notice that i don't eat much of it. i exercise when and how i can. i do wii or dancing. i have a exercise bike at home and a dog. taking your child out for a walk or to the playground can be an excuse for you to get some exercise time in. you can do this. its your health and well being at the end of the day. my husband likes me fat so no-one else would want me. but i want me. i want me to be healthy and feeling good about myself. my kids like me, but they like me active and they like me healthy too. i don't want to tach my kids that eating junk is the only way. i get them to help with food prep and shopping and we like healthier food. i like being in control of what goes into my body. and i know its up to me to keep me healthy.
And its up to you to take really good care of you. you don't need his support you can do it for you. for your kids and for your future.

How'd your chat go? Doing better today?

How'd your chat go? Doing better today?

It went ok. I basically just sat him down and said that this is what I want to do, and that this is what I am GOING to do. He said he wants to do those things too, but he is naturally lazy (so freaking true) so he needs me to make him do it. I refused to make him do it. I told him that the whole fast food and junk food thing is fine for him, if he wants it, but I'm making my dinner and if he wants something different, he can get it himself. I just basically said everything I have been saying in bits and pieces over the past couple months all at once in one concise statement. He agreed to try to be more supportive. I also asked him, very gently, if he thought that I wouldnt want him anymore once I reached my goals, and he tried to change the subject, so I didnt push it. A little while later, I was in the bath, and he texted me and just said "The thought has crossed my mind". I tried to talk to him about it again when I got out, but he changed the subject again (we communicate really well most of the times, but he will shut down sometimes if something really bugs him) so I went to bed and texted him back and said "It would never happen. I love you" and then he came to bed and we snuggled and stuff, and all feels good today

This is awesome!!
:bigsmile: