In your twenties and social? So hard to count calories!
trybabytry
Posts: 181
Hey,
I am looking for girlfriends on here who are, like me, in their twenties and very social. I am finding it so hard to count calories and balance my social life -- being on a diet involves planning, and I've lately been turning down last-minute or even last-hour invitations to go places because I know it'll ruin my calorie-count for the day if I do.
Alcohol is a big concern, but food is too -- I can go to the bar and nurse one slow drink even if it's not as much fun, but it feels like a bummer to go to someone's house for a spontaneous meal and have to eat like a freaking bird because they cooked macaroni and cheese for me and more than 1/2 a cup will tip me over for the day.
I don't want to tell my friends I'm on a diet, because I just don't want to have to talk about it -- I'm private in that regard. And even if I was open about it, it doesn't help the fact that I'm having less fun because I'm trying to watch what I eat.
Furthermore, I'm single -- and ostensibly meeting men is one of the reasons I want to lose weight, but without going to bars and parties I won't meet ANYONE! So I just sit at home alone, looking thin, eating carrots
I wonder what the point is sometimes.
Any ladies in this boat? Friend me so we can support each other!
I am looking for girlfriends on here who are, like me, in their twenties and very social. I am finding it so hard to count calories and balance my social life -- being on a diet involves planning, and I've lately been turning down last-minute or even last-hour invitations to go places because I know it'll ruin my calorie-count for the day if I do.
Alcohol is a big concern, but food is too -- I can go to the bar and nurse one slow drink even if it's not as much fun, but it feels like a bummer to go to someone's house for a spontaneous meal and have to eat like a freaking bird because they cooked macaroni and cheese for me and more than 1/2 a cup will tip me over for the day.
I don't want to tell my friends I'm on a diet, because I just don't want to have to talk about it -- I'm private in that regard. And even if I was open about it, it doesn't help the fact that I'm having less fun because I'm trying to watch what I eat.
Furthermore, I'm single -- and ostensibly meeting men is one of the reasons I want to lose weight, but without going to bars and parties I won't meet ANYONE! So I just sit at home alone, looking thin, eating carrots
I wonder what the point is sometimes.Any ladies in this boat? Friend me so we can support each other!
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Replies
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i'm not 20 but I still have the same issues. But i'm wondering what you're going to do once you lose your weight and you're faced with the same issues. I know I definately don't wanna stop going out just because I can't eat everything that's going around. I've found what sometimes helps for me, is not focusing on the food so much as the socializing. I went to a baby shower. There was tons of food....of course. I made a point of focusing on socializing and helping out, not the eating part. Of course I ate, but I ate very little because I was too busy socializing. If you're going to a barbecue or dinner...same thing applies, just try to focus on the socializing part and helping out or whatever, just not the food. I dunno, I found this helped for me. Good luck and just don't give up!!!0
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Also not 20's but when a friend calls to invite you to dinner say, "great, I'll bring a salad!" or some other items you know you can have a larger portion of. Even if that means you bring a premade salad from a salad bar or deli. Grab a bottle of dressing or make some in a mason jar to bring along. your friends will appreciate the extra effort and you get food you can EAT!
Bar? Stay away from the alcohol and have sparkling water and lime? Iced tea? Whatever. Save yourself a DUI
or have your one drink and then switch to iced tea. Bring Stevia to sweeten it yourself. I doubt anyone will care what you are drinking. 0 -
love your answer about bringing something!!!!!0
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Sister, these are my exact issues! Shoot me a FR, we'll get along great!0
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Try to plan your days around. If you know you're going on a date for dinner, eat lighter for lunch. Same for drinks. Or going to a friends house. When my best friend is in town, I always keep 200 calories left in my day for wine and/or chocolate, in case she calls me late in the evening for some steamy gossip.0
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Exactly me. Just FR you and sent you a message
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I can definitely relate. Remember, this is a LIFESTYLE, not a diet. Do you ever have "cheat" days?? It's okay to have something you enjoy once in a while. Go out and have fun and don't let your diet control your social life!!0
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Protion control and get healthy friends. You can't stop living your life because you are trying to lose weight. What about suggesting healthy options or a get together at the gym. Order one drink and work on it all night then hit the dance floor and burn some calories.0
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Literally just in from a night out, managed to behave myself mostly. I had saved up calories today for going out. I suppose with last minute things you could go enjoy yourself and have a great day foodwise the following day plus extra exercise.0
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I'm in the same boat for sure! I guess I just try to be extra careful and exercise more on days following the nights i go out. Friend request me! 0
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Remember, this is a LIFESTYLE, not a diet.
I think she hit the nail on the head here! You have to balance it. Like someone else said, if you know you're going out, try to eat healthier that day and exercise a little more. You have to live your life, and there are going to be temptations and difficult food situations for the rest of your life. If you're making smart choices 85% of the time, then going out or to a friend's house won't set you back. You can do this!
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Could you work out more so you can eat more? That's how I roll.0
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as i started training my group of friends kind of changed to more with common intrests like mine so makes it a bit easier but even so once in a while i go out ppl try to peer pressure and some have even ignored me saying no and went bought me a drink of food anyways tryign to tell me they payed for it so i ahve to eat it.. n i would just tell them thnx... but stfu ur an idiot cuz i told u i cant... n now they have learnt their lessons to just leave me alone and respect what im doing... n now they are all asking me to help them achive same/similar results to mine...0
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I feel your pain, you have no idea! I'm from Wisconsin so drinking beer is as common as drinking 8 glasses of water a day. There's also nothing to do here but drink and eat! And deep fried cheese is one of our specialties! I'll tell you what I do. Not saying it's right, but it's what I do!
1. I drink vodka waters with a lime. Squeeze the lime into the drink. Don't knock it 'til you try it! The first time I was introduced to them I wasn't even going to try it. I ended up trying it and it HONESTLY tastes like water. Some of my friends use lemon instead.
2. Drink MGD 64 or Bud Select 55.
3. Fill up on healthy foods BEFORE you go out, that way you might be less tempted to eat bad foods. I also keep healthy junk food at my house if I'm drunk and want to snack when I get home. My go-to-drunk-snack is usuall a pizza lean pocket!
4. Stand, walk, and dance as much as possilbe while out to burn calories.
5. If I know I'm going out I'll try to eat EXTRA healthy all day to save up calories and I'll work out EXTRA hard (usually burn at least 500 cals) so I don't feel so guilty about going out.
6. A lot of people on here frown upon this, but whatever I do what I want! If i KNOW i have an event on the weekend that I'll over-indulge a bit, I make sure to eat a little less during the week before to "save" calories. I'll shoot for 100-200 less per day which gives me 500-1000 extra calories for the event!
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. It sucks when all my skinny friends (and guy friends) want to go out all the time and I always say no because I hate my body. I REALLY want to be out with them, but I also don't want to look like this anymore!0 -
It's so incredibly nice to hear that people are having these same issues, but pushing through them. The idea about bringing something low-cal is so smart! As is the "burn calories on the dancefloor" comment, I'm going to try to push my friends towards clubs more often, LOL.
I do exercise a decent amount already -- I run 3-4 miles 5 days a week -- but it wouldn't kill me to push it harder! It'd be so worth it to not have to be anxious anytime someone asks me to come out for a beer or a BBQ.0 -
I just sent you a FR, I'm in a similar boat.
I just recently started watching my calories and such, and I'm in the same boat and haven't really told my friends I'm on a diet, I just tell them that I'm trying to watch what i eat because eating foods that aren't good for me make me feel like crap. Going out to eat is kind of easy, I try to pre-plan and only eat half my meal depending on my calories. As far as drinks, I usually drink a few drinks and add water in between, most people don't notice, especially because I drink Vodka & Soda water with a lime, so a water with a lime no one notices. If I know I'm planning on going out and having a few extra drinks I make sure I work extra hard at the gym and save up the calories for it. I like the idea of offering to bring a salad or whatever for it. I definitely understand though, most of my friends DONT watch what they eat or really care because they all have fairly fast metabolisms, have serious boyfriends/married, and I'm single and looking to turn heads haha. Feel free to message me, I definitely could use more friends that understand!0 -
You could also suggest activities that don't center around food for you and your friends... go dancing, take a class together, go for a hike, see a play, etc. There's lots of things you can do that don't center around food and drinks.0
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Finding the balance is key. If I go to a friends place for a BBQ for example, I'll make a garden salad and bring some lean meat - nothing out of the ordinary but a good healthy alternative.
If I'm going out to eat, I'll save up some cals that day so I have extra to spend on dinner, or plan it as a spike day.
For drinking I'll choose lighter alternatives and/or just drink less. Instead of bee, I'll have a vodka and soda or something similar.
There are a number of ways you can just make small adjustments to the way you live, a little more planning is usually involved, but nothing good comes for free right!?!0 -
I'm 24 and in college and dealing with all these issues lately. I just got a text from a friend yesterday who was actually MAD that I'm eating healthy and working out. She told me to stop doing those things and to start hanging out with her more because she's more fun than being healthy. I couldn't even believe my eyes... A friend telling me she would rather I be unhealthy with her than healthy? Rude! It's hard to balance social life with this new lifestyle but I find it a LOT easier to be social with people who are on my page. Start going to your local or schools gym and make some friends there! Or if you have a farmers market, start frequenting there! People who eat veggies together, stay together. 0
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I have learned that certain days of the week (Weds/Sat for me) people will want to go out and eat/drink so on those days I will just eat smaller meals and save up my calories. I also don't eat the whole portion of food either, I just try to eat slowly. Last week people went out for burgers so I just ate my burger slowly and by the time everyone else was done I still had half left so I just took it to-go. It is tough when I go to my boyfriend's parent's house because his mom always wants to order food, so in that case I also just eat half and say I'm full.0
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If something spontaneous comes up and you haven't planned for it, enjoy it and don't stress if you end up a little over. Then for the next day or so, try to save a few calories - even if it's only 50 per day, if you do it for 4 days you've got 200 back! - and/or add an extra 10 minutes to your workouts. Remember to enjoy yourself, as others have pointed out, this is a lifestyle, not a short-term diet. You can still do the things you love 0
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I am in pretty much the same situation! I might handle it a little different than everyone else though. Feel free to friend me!! I am a grad student living in boulder, colorado so beer is everywhere and always delicious. I have come to the conclusion that it is okay for me to lose the weight slower if I can still have some fun. When I go out I do try not to eat the food because its really high in calories, so I will have dinner first and then just drink when I am out. I also ride my bike out and really like to dance (poorly) but always try to get some in on a night on the town. So both of those things burn cals so then I just call it even.
Might not be accurate, but I would rather have fun and do things versus sitting home alone to lose weight a little faster.0 -
I generally over guestimate my calorie count and then log it later for accuracy.. but I have a good memory. xD you don't have to be extremely social and drink though..0
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Yeah! I totally agree! I'm in college and I live in a dorm, and I hate it when people ask me if I'm on a "diet" or something. Then they're like why are you on a diet you look good or whatever blah blah blah. . . I find it so much easier to just keep it to myself & my MFP friends of course
Idk but the drinking and social eating is definitely an issue for me too. I mean yeah, I'm in college of course I wanna go to parties and stuff and don't even get me started with the 3 am fast food runs... omg... hahaha0 -
There are some great suggestions here. If I'm going for a big night out, I try hit the gym, watch my calories during the day and try make good choices while I'm out- drinking vodka and diet coke instead of sugary cocktails, having the odd glass of water in between beverages and avoiding the chipper at the end of the night :laugh:
I went a wee bit overboard during the week; my boyfriend insisted we eat dinner out and my willpower faltered at the unexpected invitation! I just worked a little harder at the gym the next day and am being a little more mindful of my calorie intake for the rest of the week. It won't be so easy considering it is a holiday weekend here in Aus!!
It would be much easier to stay in, away from temptations but that's no fun at all! With a bit of moderation and we can enjoy the best of both worlds 0 -
I'm a 22 year old social college student who had the saaaame problem at the beginning of my calorie counting. Bottom line: you have to own your weight loss. How badly do you want this? My friends would always give me crap about trying to eat well and how it was no use because we were just gonna party it up later and gain back all the calories. I had to be straightforward and tell them I can go out and do the same things with you guys as always but I'm not going to drink every time, I'm not going to make poor food choices, I'm going to make time for myself to go to the gym with or without you guys, etc. We had a BBQ- I made mushroom/bell pepper/zucchini shish kabobs. I brought low cal hot dogs and skipped the bun. Now these friends (my 3 closest) all gym with me everyday. They are also attempting to eat better. I'm so proud of us all and they say I inspired them. I don't miss one gym day because that gives them an excuse to skip (and myself of course). Basically, the ability to say 'no' will fix this problem you are having.0
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I know how you feel! I get invites minutes before I am picked up and have no time to prepare. FR me, we can help each other!0
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I am older than you and go out to dinner every weekend (half of the time for the entire weekend). Everyone has pretty much covered my tips:
1. eat less the day of in other meals
2. eat less during the week
3. exercise the day of or the day after
4. smaller portions when you go out (eat half of your entree and the rest in a box)
5. drink mostly calorie free drinks (sparkling water with lime looks like vodka soda/vodka tonic)
6. only eat it is it is worth the calories. Let's say there are cupcakes at a party, I am only eating the really good one. If it is mediocre, then I don't finish it. Same with drinks. I only believe in using my calories for the best tasting treats. Is it worth it to have a mediocre dessert? Not in my book.
I also have 2 cheat meals a week. I log and don't concern myself with the calories in the meal. I've been doing this since I started, and have gone over calories maybe 3 times on one of those days. Most of the time the calories end up being 20% more than I typically have for that meal. Things end up being right on target.0 -
Same boat! I'm not a big drinker but my friends LOVE to bake, go out to unhealthy restaurants (a lot of which are one-location places that don't post cal counts online), and generally take time out of their day to ensure they eat a ton of junk food. Lucky for them, they are all "healthy weight" and don't work out and have no reason to care. When I started on MFP I started to bring a pack of gum EVERYWHERE. I limit myself to ONE of whatever they bake and then pop a piece of gum in my mouth - that way I don't feel rude, but at the same time I can easily stay within limits.
When we go out I try and factor it into my day, or only eat half the portion and bring the rest home.
Feel free to friend me - you can work through this!0 -
I do have some similar issues and would be happy to be supportive of each other.. Add me if you would like. 0
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