For Folks Who Have Lost a Parent

neverstray
neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
in Chit-Chat
...did you learn something about them that surprised you after they passed away?

I did. Quite shocking, actually. But, very interesting.

I learned that my mom was a nudist. All her friends are nudists, and she was really into it. Owned a cabin on a lake in a nudist place where she went all the time. LOL. I was like, are you f'ing kidding me? But, I then I thought, AWESOME. And, why did she hide it? I would have been cool with it.

My sister doesn't know because she didn't go to the wake after she died.

LOL.

So, what about you? Did you learn something about your parents after they passed?

Replies

  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
    yes, I always knew dad was pretty awesome....but i didn't know that prior to me being born he wanted to part of the LAPD. I didn't find that out till the get to together after his service..

    I also found out from his cousin that he was very close to his cousins since he was an only child growing up.

    I did know that i got his fair skin...hahaha we could sit under shade with sunscreen on and we would still burn.

    its been 12 years since he passed and i miss him more and more everyday.
  • natvanessa
    natvanessa Posts: 230 Member
    Haha yes!

    My dad was always quite an oddball (and I loved him for it and have some of that in me too), but what I learned was quite shocking as well.

    We were clearing out his apartment after he passed and found all these photos of him in women's clothing! He was at some party in the photos but was the only one cross-dressed. I doubt he was doing this often, but it was pretty funny!
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
    ...did you learn something about them that surprised you after they passed away?

    I did. Quite shocking, actually. But, very interesting.

    I learned that my mom was a nudist. All her friends are nudists, and she was really into it. Owned a cabin on a lake in a nudist place where she went all the time. LOL. I was like, are you f'ing kidding me? But, I then I thought, AWESOME. And, why did she hide it? I would have been cool with it.

    My sister doesn't know because she didn't go to the wake after she died.

    LOL.

    So, what about you? Did you learn something about your parents after they passed?
    Wow, must have been an interesting wake :laugh:
  • manderann
    manderann Posts: 189
    I stopped in at my step dad's house to drop off a card the year after my mother died and learned that the only picture of me in the whole house was a wedding photo I gave to them. My daughter, my brother, my step dad's kids... photos covering one living room wall. Me, not so much. That reinforced the "not feeling guilty about not crying at her funeral" thing.

    I did learn that my dad used to grow pot under the stairs when I was little. That came out last year at a BBQ I hosted :laugh:
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    Oh man did I!

    So my dad was married before my mother. They couldn't remember if it was once or twice. I found that out when I met the woman at the funeral. Also I may have a sister out there, I think I do. Not gonna open that can of worms.

    Oh and I didn't know his name. Thought it was Bob. It was actually Carlos. Roberto was his middle name.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    I've not lost my parents, but I lost my grandmother last year. I found out that she was a locally famous horseback rider when she was in her 20's all the way through her 40's. She won a lot of trophies for jumping competitions. Never knew that.
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    Oh man did I!

    So my dad was married before my mother. They couldn't remember if it was once or twice. I found that out when I met the woman at the funeral. Also I may have a sister out there, I think I do. Not gonna open that can of worms.

    Oh and I didn't know his name. Thought it was Bob. It was actually Carlos. Roberto was his middle name.
    Thats interesting. And very similar to me! I found out that my dad may have been married twice before my mom. We only knew about one. And that I may have other siblings out there. There was even a rumor that he has a 'Jr.'...the twist is that my brother is also a 'Jr.'. We decided to leave it alone. I still live in a world where my dad was my hero. I am not going to mess that up by digging into his flaws and mistakes. He was human after all.
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
    when my grandmother died we found out she had been telling us the wrong birth year...she was a year older than when she told us.
    we also found out that she may have been married prior to being married to my dads father...never was able to dig deeper into that one.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    LOL. This stuff is awesome.
  • stacymama5
    stacymama5 Posts: 391 Member
    I found out after my great grandmother died that she had an illigitmate daugher. When I found her birth certificate, the mother wasn't listed and the father was my great grandmother's brother. Kind of sad but the world was still messed up way over 100 years ago.
  • Veganniee
    Veganniee Posts: 460 Member
    Found out about dad's younger days from family members when we were all sitting round remembering him. turns out he was a hypocrite having a go at me for teenage drinking!

    Dad was very macho and didn't do emotional displays of affection so you never really knew how he felt. When we were clearing out some of his clutter we found a small wooden box with photos of his grandparents, parents, brother, my mum, me and my son. He'd kept photos of all the people he cared about.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    I haven't, Thank God. Both my parents are in their 40's.

    My maternal, great-grandpa passed Wednesday and his viewing is tonight. I just learned from his Obituary that he survived the Battle of the Bulge in WWII. My OTHER great-grandpa(paternal) just passed and he was a tan kcommander in the Battle as well! Both my Great Grandpa's were in the same WWII Battle. I know it was a big one but still kind of cool.

    Also, my son got to meet two Great-great-grandfathers. Not many people can say that in their life.
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    My dad was married two times before he married my mom, and it wasn't until he died that I met his other children. Didn't keep touch, but I met them.
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
    Both of my parents are still alive.
    On my Fathers side (his parents.
    Grandpa used to be the personal mechanic for Al Capone when he came down to Miami. I actually have photos of them together when Grandpa was a younger man.
    Grandma was a "wing walker". One of those women would would get out of the Bi-plane and walk on the wings while it was flying.
    Makes my whole "Airborne" thing look tame by comparison.
  • Norsegodess
    Norsegodess Posts: 30
    Never learnt nothing really apart from the reason he dies was stomach cancer which drs said wasn't due to either his smoking or drinking (he was int eh armed forces so lot of happy hours) it was in fact due to him getting hit in the stomach with a ball when he played field hockey and was the goalie
  • Docksider16
    Docksider16 Posts: 16
    A week after my mom's funeral, my brother and I got an email asking why "Joe" was listed as my mother's life companion - because, it seems, this gal's dad "Bill" had been with my mother for years. I always thought it was weird that Bill left her a house....
  • Docksider16
    Docksider16 Posts: 16
    My question is - Did any of these post-death revelations change how you perceive your parents or how you live your life now?
  • JPod279
    JPod279 Posts: 722 Member
    My mom let it slip that something I did really crushed my dad as I had the chance to do something that had always been his dream and I didn't follow it (out of foolish/youthful pride). I always thought I was the only one that decision affected and it turns out it wasn't, and was (i think) the reason there was so much friction between us until he died.
  • JPod279
    JPod279 Posts: 722 Member
    My question is - Did any of these post-death revelations change how you perceive your parents or how you live your life now?

    Mine didn't because I look at it as if he had lived long enough he would have seen where that decision led me and he would see the result, my two beautiful girls, and he would realize things worked out the best in the end.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    My question is - Did any of these post-death revelations change how you perceive your parents or how you live your life now?

    I laugh when I think about it. The secrets people keep. How you think you know someone and you find out all sorts of things you never knew. I kind of like it.

    Provided I never meet my long lost sister late one night when I've been drinking and neither of us realize it. That's my only real fear.
  • MsMargie1116
    MsMargie1116 Posts: 323 Member
    Yep, I found out I am 1/8 Native American... :wink: I pretty much knew everything else... :glasses:
  • twistofcain
    twistofcain Posts: 190
    Both of my parents are still alive, but I am sure when my dad passes I am going to hear some insane ****; playa since 1948.
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
    Both of my parents are still alive, but I am sure when my dad passes I am going to hear some insane ****; playa since 1948.

    Straight truth. His dad is a pimp.

    My parents are still alive but I'm unfortunately learning about my father's dirty little secrets now.
  • alias1001
    alias1001 Posts: 634 Member
    After my mother passed, I never realized how much stuff a household requires to run. It's not shocking, but was a tad daunting.

    Grandpa might've married grandma while he was still married. And she definitely lied about her age. Fun fun!
  • still_crafty
    still_crafty Posts: 682 Member
    I had no idea my father was so highly decorated by the US Army. I knew he was in the Army, knew he did two tours in Vietnam but he NEVER, EVER spoke about it. My sisters and I found out about all of his medals and such when we were making funeral arrangements through the Veterans Administration so he could be buried at the National Cemetary in Dayton, OH.

    Plus, at the funeral some of my dad's old friends told us all kinds of stories from when he was in the military. Pretty amazing *kitten*.
  • kristalael
    kristalael Posts: 69 Member
    I haven't lost a parent but I never met my father. All I know about him is his name and that I might have a brother who's about 9 months older than me. I'm an only child...
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    My question is - Did any of these post-death revelations change how you perceive your parents or how you live your life now?

    Yes. I have a goal to go see what the nudist thing is all about. i don't know how to approach it, but she was so into it, and it was a huge part of her life. So, I'm curious about it. So, I have made it a goal to go to a place and check it out and see if it's something I might like.

    The problem is, I'm a little pervy. LOL. So, I'm working through that issue.
  • Tuffjourney
    Tuffjourney Posts: 971
    "...did you learn something about them that surprised you after they passed away? "

    Yes, I realized how much I loved them, (Ive lost both). All those times, where mom wouldnt stop bugging me about this or that. I would give anything just to thank her for caring so much. Apologize for being such a rotten daughter....

    :sad:
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
    my dad was a ladies man. all the women wanted him. and even after he married my mom, they still came around calling! lol!!! I used to get really annoyed at this one lady who would come and "yohoo" to my mom, "is clyde home?" like as if she was asking if he could come out and play... geesh!!!! some women! the man is married!!!! he's off limits!!! don't you get it??? he has 9 children!!!! go away!!!!


    I loved my dad. he was my hero. he took care of me when my mom forgot me at school, which was more often than not (he was a teacher at the school I attended for kinder) and he always asked me if I needed money or anything, because he knew my mom always left me out... :P

    before he went to Heaven, he told me he was sorry for not treating my husband better ( my husband went to Heaven 2 years before my dad) He wanted my husband to provide for me a better life and didn't approve a lot of things that he did...

    my dad ... I still miss him.

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