Difficulty having close female friendships.

2»

Replies

  • littlemoonsandy
    littlemoonsandy Posts: 1,930
    My only girl friends are just dudes with girl parts. I'm not a girls girl. I do guy things for the most part. When I go to mom events at my kids schools, I want to hang myself. I just don't fit. I know there are others like me out there... I think we're just too jaded to dig thru the gossip to find each other.

    Wow. That didn't sound negative at all. Lol

    This is me..I'd much rather hang out with guys..drink beers, play horse shoes etc etc...I find most women to be money hungry b....s that like to gossip about a bunch of crap I dont care about it.
  • wasveganvictoria88
    wasveganvictoria88 Posts: 249 Member
    Get some male friends, I always find them more appealing - 1. they're honest, 2. they are always there, 3. they will tell you if you look ****...I think that goes with no. 1 but women are ruthless and back stabbing - I have one close girl friend and shes pretty manly thats why I love her (not that she looks like a man, she looks amazing)
  • ambeer2
    ambeer2 Posts: 66 Member
    I'm hoping that day will come sooner than later, because it get's pretty lonely sometimes.

    This sounds pretty lame, but have you ever considered yourself as your best girl friend? I might have seen something online or in my dreams the other day, saying that in life, we all are actually alone, always. It's a strong statement, though true. Cherish your alone time, and be happy with yourself.

    Full disclosure: I have a best female friend, whom I've known since we were 8, along with a couple other close girl friends. At least someone I can call to hang out with at a whim and vent over a bottle of wine. It is nice, but I've also been mostly a guys' gal. I do try to spend a lot of time with my boyfriend. After all, if you love someone, why shouldn't you? The way I "deal" with my romantic relationships has broken up some of my female friendships in the past, though, but the real ones have lasted.
  • Moviedust
    Moviedust Posts: 110
    I have the same thing. I have female friends but none of them are the BFF kind. Or at least not the kind I had when I was younger. All the ones from when I was younger faded away (probably because different now too). But I kind of wish I would have had a sister or be really super close to someone. We have a close group of friends, but most of them are guys.
  • focus4fitness
    focus4fitness Posts: 551 Member

    This sounds pretty lame, but have you ever considered yourself as your best girl friend? I might have seen something online or in my dreams the other day, saying that in life, we all are actually alone, always. It's a strong statement, though true. Cherish your alone time, and be happy with yourself.

    This is what I do. I have a very hard time with friendships in real life because I simply don't know how to do it. There was a study I read sometime ago that showed that many people who moved a lot in their childhood didn't learn the skills that they need to find and maintain friendships the same way that other people do, and I moved way more than most people do. I also don't live near any cousins, and my brothers were all WAY older than me and most moved out by the time I was 5. I used to feel bad about the fact that I didn't have any close girlfriends (yes I have had some girlfriends but not super close BFF kinds) but now I just realize that its just part of who I was and once I let go of the idea that this was something I was "supposed" to have, I feel much better about it.
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
    I think its the whole competitiveness thing for me. Like I mentioned a semi good friend I have earlier. She makes little remarks about how life is so much easier for me because I'm thin. That I could have any man I want and she can't because she's heavy. Its not like that at all. And frankly I get sick of hearing those little remarks.
    Men are way less complicated than women. I guess I'm just one of the guys.
  • MzBug
    MzBug Posts: 2,173 Member
    I am the same way. I grew up with 5 older brothers and no sisters. I was a tomboy from day 1. I had a close female friend in grade school, but then I moved. I had a close female friend in high school, she moved. I haven't really had one since. I have shared houses with other females...I learned that I just don't understand them. I have had many male friends and house mates over the years and got along fantastic. I just can't relate to other women. My boyfriend is my best friend and I his. We still go out and do things with co workers and neighbors and have fun, but we just seem to be more content with just us.
  • MooMooooo
    MooMooooo Posts: 306 Member
    I've always had best friends - plural - always 2 at a time.

    Until I was about 26 or 27 when I becames just best buds with one girl in particular.

    I could and did tell her anything and everything. Until she 'dumped' me in February of last year for not being 'there' for her enough.

    After 10 years.

    Since then I've had no best friend and I'm sad and it sucks.

    It was my New Years Resolution to make a best friend this year - it's already June and zip.

    But it's partly my fault - I'm picky as hell and kinda hard to get along with - I have a LOT of secrets that I'm dying to spill, but no confidants on the horizon.... fml.

    At this point my husband is my bestie and he is awesome, but to whom shall I whinge about him? lol.
  • secretgirl4611
    secretgirl4611 Posts: 474 Member
    O I am the same way, I don't know I don't really like other females period. MOST can be really scandalous and back stabbing! And well on here is one thing I have chic friends but I don't know them personally.. And when it comes to hanging out I was only able to hang out with like 1 or 2 chic's. I have a friend who is a girl from high school who always tries to get me to go over and hangout but I'm like NAH and I feel bad but I ditch out... I find it SUPER EASY to chill with dudes tho, and yea that's me. So, the only thing that sucks is even tho I'm not hot and sexy lmao new guys that I seriously just meet and I try to JUST BE FRIENDS WITH always END UP LIKING ME?!?! Its really annoying, but I am pretty different from most ppl girls and guys. I belong to no social group what so ever!
  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,243 Member
    Here is my rant: I've always seemed to have bad luck (or bad friends) when it comes to having and keeping meaningful female friendships. I've gone for years now without having a close friend that I hang out with often.

    It started in 6th grade when my best friend found a new group of friends. Then in 8th grade I had a close girlfriend but she was destructive and pretty opposite of me at the time. In 9th grade, I made some good friends, but then I moved 50-60 miles away. In 10th grade I made a good friend, but our friendship fell apart because of problems with her dating my boyfriend's brother, she lied, she was jealous of me wanting to hangout with my boyfriend often.
    (I can admit this one was partially my fault, but it seems she overreacted.)

    In 11th and 12th grade I made a couple of good friends, but then after we graduated, my friend got pregnant. We stayed friends, I attended her baby shower and such. Then, I moved to college and she had a kid so it was hard to hangout anymore. I tried, but there always seemed to be conflicts in time and other factors. In college, I made some new friends, but my friend's closeness to her religion pushed us apart because she wanted to be closer friends with people who shared her beliefs. A girl who also was friends with us became closer to me, and now we hangout every once in a while. Now, she is in Japan (where she is from) for the summer.

    I have female acquaintances, and people who I hang out with in groups, but I feel so lonely without a female confidant. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 1/2 years and he is my best friend, but he still has his guy friends. I just wish I had someone to confide in, to text, to laugh with, and be girly or stupid with. I feel like I've been missing this part of me for a long time. It's obviously not the hardest thing to make friends, but I feel like I don't know how to make good friends anymore.

    /rant over.

    I agree wholeheartedly. I'm in the same position, sans boyfriend.
  • thatawesomechick82
    thatawesomechick82 Posts: 132 Member
    I have guy friends because women are sheisty and I enjoy a drama-free life.... also I can only handle so much ***** at once, and frankly I only have room for one... me.
  • jaimica31
    jaimica31 Posts: 12
    I have no true friends at all...
  • Shawnjay75
    Shawnjay75 Posts: 81 Member
    Same here...I do have a large family and hangout with my cousins and aunts all the time. Sometimes seeing how close they are with some of their friends do make me want the same kind of relationship with ladies outside of my family. Other times, after hearing the stories they tell me filled with drama and nonsense it make me happy I'm the way I am. I actually like being by myself but sometimes I want to go shopping or to happy hour and just be girly.
  • WickedGarden
    WickedGarden Posts: 944 Member
    I haven't had a BFF since college (which was quite a long time ago).

    Friendships change, people grow...anyway, I get along better with guys than I do with girls.

    At my last job, I did try to make friends, but they all back stabbed me, and I just don't want to deal with that. (I know guys can be flaky too, but women take it to a whole new level, they take it to a personal and emotional level).

    I do wish for a good female friend, or even a gay best friend, just SOMEone else to talk to. I was an only child growing up, there weren't a lot of kids in my neighborhood, and my parent basically banned me from having friends.

    Now I feel weird trying to be friends with other women, they will say "My best friend this" and "My best friend that" so I feel like 'ok, so you don't have room in your life for another friend' I always feel so awkward.

    You are not alone! (I refuse to say 'It gets better' because no, it doesn't)

Categories