"Stop losing weight"

missemily1124
missemily1124 Posts: 102
edited December 21 in Health and Weight Loss
So I'm going to have a quick rant here. There's a lady I know and everytime I see her she asks me if I'm done losing weight because I don't need to lose anymore and I shouldn't. She also seems to be convinced that I'm going to develop an eating disorder if I don't stop with my weight loss. It's driving me up the wall. She doesn't know how much I weigh, and I'm aiming to be healthier not super skinny.

What do you do when people bug you like that? ARG!

Replies

  • buckeye86
    buckeye86 Posts: 128 Member
    I've been having that problem the past several months. Most days I say- I'm doing this for myself not anyone else, so it doesn't matter how you'd prefer my body to look. When I'm PMSing, I start to question whether their right about stopping and somehow still see way too much fat in the mirror at the same time. I figure I'll just ignore those comments or take them as compliments and keep going until my body looks the way I want it to. (Also going for "healthy" not too skinny, like you said)
  • gogophers
    gogophers Posts: 190 Member
    I just smile and say thank you. I'm not good enough at reading people to be able to tell whether they're congratulating me or actually think I need to stop losing weight. If it's the former, the "thank you" fits in perfectly, if it's the latter, they'll be confused and probably not mention it to me again. Win Win :smile:

    I'm a textbook hypochondriac so I really don't need other people who can usually only see my face, neck, and hands telling me I may be becoming too thin.
  • bm99
    bm99 Posts: 597 Member
    I haven't heard that in a LONG time (haha) but when I was younger and I'd get comments like that I just went with the "haha... oh you", laugh and brush them off while trying to make my escape. I care about general opinions on my weight (fat or thin, as the case may be) about as much as I care about general opinions on anything. Just chalk it up to a well meaning, if ignorant comment by someone who is lacking basic social skills (you do NOT comment on another person's body!).
  • r3ban1x
    r3ban1x Posts: 51 Member
    I have a relative who used to tell me I was too skinny and needed to eat. As I got older and became overweight now she tells me I look pregnant b/c of the weight I've gained. Some people just have to have an opinion on you because that's how they are. Just say Ok thanks and do what you want to do.
  • CRody44
    CRody44 Posts: 737 Member
    Tell her to write up her suggestions and you will submit to your doctor. If she even does it, wait a few weeks and tell her she wasn’t specific enough and that your doctor says she will have to be more explicate, i.e.: calories, % of fat, carbs and protein, Sodium, cholesterol, etc., and how this may improve or exacerbate your current condition. She may even get the hint.
    If that doesn’t work, you can always tell her to f*** off and mind her own business.
  • MooMooooo
    MooMooooo Posts: 306 Member
    My first reaction is to get defensive... I'm trying to stop that.

    It's my life and my body and I KNOW I don't have an eating disorder so why should I feel ashamed?

    So I try to ignore the barbs and if people get persistant I'll just tell them their comments are making me feel uncomfortable and they need to stop it and change the subject.
  • twocsmom
    twocsmom Posts: 120 Member
    I've had several people tell me that...so one day I finally just asked "how much do you think I weigh!?" I was shocked to hear they thought I was about 105-110 pounds (I was 145 at the time). Once I told them that they said "Oh, well you look great but I guess you would be okay to lose 10 more then..."

    It's their perception...it's off.
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    I think it depends who is saying that...

    If it is a random stranger or an aquaintance who doesn't know me well, I'd just say something fairly offhand like "oh, I'm really making an effort to eat better and exercise, that's the important thing for me". And then I'd ignore them, it's none of their business.

    If it someone I know and trust, I might ask them why they think I've lost too much.
    My husband told me last year that I was getting too skinny but I thought that was just because it was a big change in a short time and he didn't want me to be unhealthy. So, I asked a good friend, who I have known for years and really trust, if she thought I had lost too much weight. She said no, but I told her that if I ever looked like I had, to please say something.

    I think I'm pretty good at judging what is healthy for me, but I know that sometimes it is hard for us to see things in ourselves and that an outside opinion might be helpful - but only if we ask for it!
  • ShifuYaku
    ShifuYaku Posts: 504 Member
    I've had several people tell me that...so one day I finally just asked "how much do you think I weigh!?" I was shocked to hear they thought I was about 105-110 pounds (I was 145 at the time). Once I told them that they said "Oh, well you look great but I guess you would be okay to lose 10 more then..."

    It's their perception...it's off.

    Wow, and they then proceeded to tell you to keep losing... that makes me feel angry. Standards of perfection. :grumble:
  • gingerveg
    gingerveg Posts: 748 Member
    I know this kind of thing is frustrating. It's hard, but when trying to understand other's motives I usually try to have compassion if it is possible. Maybe she has someone close to her with an eating disorder (or possibly even lost someone). That's how I would try to think about it from her perspective.

    How I would deal with it: I feel like it is compassionate not to continue on a subject that clearly makes her uncomfortable so I wouldn't respond at all. She crossed a line. You don't owe her (or anyone) a response regarding issue concerning your physical body (it's nobody's business but yours). Maybe just smile and walk away. Or if you need to interact with her just change the subject to whatever you need to speak with her about (without addressing her inappropriate comment about your weight). I don't think we should feel compelled to respond to personal/inappropriate questions/comments that other's make. Despite cultural cues that seem to say otherwise, women's bodies are not public and no one else has rights to them but the individual (whether that is an offhand comment or a more serious demand). Not trying to get too serious but it is really important for people (especially women) to practice setting these boundaries. But with that said, one thing you can get out of this is at least all your hard work is showing
    so good for you!
  • lamos1
    lamos1 Posts: 167 Member
    Tell her to write up her suggestions and you will submit to your doctor. If she even does it, wait a few weeks and tell her she wasn’t specific enough and that your doctor says she will have to be more explicate, i.e.: calories, % of fat, carbs and protein, Sodium, cholesterol, etc., and how this may improve or exacerbate your current condition. She may even get the hint.
    If that doesn’t work, you can always tell her to f*** off and mind her own business.


    hahaha! You are hilarious. I was picturing it in my head and couldn't stop laughing. That's a good one!!
  • veganpoler
    veganpoler Posts: 50 Member
    I get that from my mom. But she's generally a weight-loss saboteur anyway...when I was breastfeeding my babies she'd always try to give me extra portions saying, "you need the calories, you're breastfeeding!" and I was like, "that's the magic of breastfeeding, if I don't eat the extra portions, I will actually lose the baby weight!"

    Anyway...yeah. You know your body and most people aren't seeing you naked. Clothes are very good at hiding those last little paunches of fat. As long as your goal weight is within a healthy BMI range, then keep going for it! Why stop when you are so close to your goal?
  • dvisser1
    dvisser1 Posts: 788 Member
    I think a lot of people simply have no idea what a truly healthy adult, at a healthy weight looks like. In the US at the very least, being somewhere between slightly and significantly overweight is becoming normal. For some people it can be a simple perception problem, you getting thinner than the average person around you makes you stand out. For other people it could be a jealousy or personal insecurity issue, they want what you are achieving for yourself but either don't know how or don't want to put in the effort to get it. Either way I would just say you're working towards a healthy weight and try to leave it at that. If the person is genuinely interested in learning about what you're doing or any of the facts behind it, indulge them and try to break that perception overweight should be normal.

    I personally have never gotten the "you should stop losing weight" comment, but I am getting tired of the "you've lost a lot of weight" comments even though they are meant as a compliment.
  • Rocbola
    Rocbola Posts: 1,998 Member

    What do you do when people bug you like that? ARG!
    Ignore them. Keep on the path towards better health and let others think what they want.
  • Romans624
    Romans624 Posts: 822
    I deal with that mainly from my mom. She did that last time I was skinny, and she is mostly supportive of my weight loss goals now but is still always trying to get me to do things that she thinks are better (like splenda versus avoiding sweets altogether).

    I think just keeping it to yourself, say to yourself this is what I want and I am going to be as fit and great as I can be. Not sure about the perfect thing to say to the meddling (maybe just concerned) person, but the point is you have to stay on track to your goals.


    Sometimes I think people do that because when they see you so dedicated, they figure either you or them has to be wrong. SO they say you shouldn't be so skinny or whatever... but they aren't really taking it seriously themselves. Next time you hear that ask if you want to look like the person who is bugging you. If they are naturally perfect then remind yourself that you need to work at it. Otherwise if you cave in to the advice you'll end up not how you want but more like the person who says you're getting too slim.
  • CannibalisticVegetarian
    CannibalisticVegetarian Posts: 1,255 Member
    Whenever someone tells me that I need to stop losing, I kindly roll my eyes and let that message enter one ear and exit out the other.
  • gogophers
    gogophers Posts: 190 Member
    Whenever someone tells me that I need to stop losing, I kindly roll my eyes and let that message enter one ear and exit out the other.

    "I have a special filing cabinet for topics related to weight loss" [points to the trash can]
  • VeganPanda
    VeganPanda Posts: 582 Member
    I just nod, and know in my mind that I will keep going until I hit my goal weight.
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