Self-esteem Help

Keeping oneself occupied is helpful. Keep yourself busy working, going to school, or offering service to others.

Ditto on the CBT that was mentioned above. It truely can help.

Jack kornfield. Chicken soup for the soul. Hang out with horses. You sound like you are doing well re: mfp. Be kind to yourself x

Ask your therapist if there's work you can do outside of the sessions to work on your self-esteem. Best of luck.

Think of the little things, just really anything that gives you joy and do more or anything that does. Good luck

I would definitely look into any sort of exercise that does fit into your recovery.

As well, I fully believe that talking to a counselor is a great idea. There are sometimes things that we bury because we don't want to deal with them, but they can rear their head at will. Sometimes they are things that we are completely unaware of and it just takes opening up to reveal and cope with them.

I know that for me, it took a "fake it til it's true" sort of mentality. I've hated my body (and self as a whole) for most of my life. After graduating college, I decided to move to California (which I"ve wanted since I was three) and I made that decision for myself and not for anyone else. I MADE myself do things that I'd never done before: go out and eat alone, go to the movies alone, go run on the beach alone, etc. I made myself look in the mirror every single morning and say out loud, "the presumption at all times and under all circumstances, should always be that you are good enough, worthy enough, and lovable enough. And that you are exactly the right kind of person, in the right place, at the right time. Otherwise, you wouldn't have been instilled with such dreams in the first place." I don't know, maybe that sounds dorky or corny, but it's helped me a lot. Words cannot express how great it feels to wake up in the morning and be proud of myself, both mentally and physically. I think that professional help is a great first step, but I think that a lot of this is going to have to come from you stepping up and saying, "I deserve better than I"m giving myself and that changes today."

Good luck and feel free to add me or PM me if you ever need to talk.

Write this down, photocopy it, paste it everywhere you go in your home, office, car, etc...read out loud numerous times per day until you belive it:

Have you talked with a counselor? If you know you have lots of things to feel good about, but you still don't, it may be time to get some help working on cognitive behavioral therapy. Seriously. I had *kitten*-all self image until I started seeing my shrink. He helped me get through some totally insane crap and after ten years of applying the tools he helped me develop, I basically love myself more than any one person should.

yea, I already do. it just doesn't seem like it is enough. I feel like I need to be working on it outsides of the therapy situation. I mean, I know a lot about therapy, I actually have my BA in Psychology. I've seen more than one counselor as well. It just doesn't seem to work for me. I'll go and see the counselors on days that I'm felling fine and later that week or day the feelings start to hit. Or so it seems.

Seek out a counselor the specializes in CBT. They should be helping you learn tools to take with you for those days when you're out in the real world and start to feel like crap. Therapy isn't just a couch and a guy with a notebook - I looked at it like school. We did exercises and talked about how CBT works as a psychological application and then I practiced using what I learned in real-life settings. I usually had 'homework' of some kind, often my therapist would help me select one situation that had been bothering me the week before and we would work through my thoughts and feelings, and there would be something I would have to go out and do about it - either confront someone about what they said/did, or make one small step in the right direction on taking action over the situation, etc.

Keep bettering yourself! If you cant exersize read a book! research a topic you find interesting and learn everthing you can about it. Maybe try leaning to draw or paint or play an instrument. Even makeing a little effort to a few of these things may help you feel better about yourself. Knowing you put in the work and it may help you feel more rounded like you have more to offer! good luck! you are beautiful!

Doing things certainly helped me through my depression. I found that when I'd slow down, or stop, that my mind would wander to those thoughts that were less than welcome. So keep on doing things.

Also; find the things that really make you happy. For me, I love Daft Punk, it's the music I listen to to be happy. So if I slump, on with the headphones and I get the happy tunes up in my ear-holes. For you it'll be something else... but if it makes you happy, do it.

Exercise is AMAZING for self esteem. Not only do you get the rush of the exercise, you feel more awake, less lethargic, more in control. Your body takes on different (better) shapes, and you end up setting goals that you can achieve. I've gone from being a not-running-person to running 10k easily - all with the 5K Runner app on my phone. With the weight loss and muscle building I've done, I'm so chuffed with how I look now (and I acknowledge it's still FAR from where I want it to be, but compared to two years ago it's so much better).

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative... so do that. Get rid of those people that are a negative influence on your life. You don't need them. Also identify those 'energy sucking' kind of people and limit your time with them - you don't need that sort of drain. If they ask 'why?', tell them outright "I am not paid to put up with your drivel!". And once they're gone, hang out with the people who support you and make you feel good.

Those are some tips off my dome for you.

Keep in mind: ANYTHING you do to improve your lot is an improvement on yesterday. If you do even just a little thing to improve your self esteem each day, while it might feel like a long time, in 365 days you can look back at a completely different person and give yourself a pat on the back at coming so far and so fast. Like MFP, it's a lifestyle change. Embrace it.

Counselors are great. Something you can do on your own is 1. Focus on a goal and take "baby steps" towards it. i.e. for your weight loss goal do one day at a time. 2. A lot of people with low self esteem are very self conscious and compare themselves to others all the time. Realize that other people have their faults and insecurities just like you and that you are just as good as they are. 3. Try not "thinking about yourself" but think of something else: a hobby, a political cause, your job, a charity, etc. Find something that stirs your passion and immerse yourself. It's hard to feel bad about yourself if you are deeply interested in something else. This passion will take the focus away from you and send that energy outwards.
This is a good board for cheerleaders too! So consider yourself being cheered!

1. I love this whole thread b/c this is something I struggle with and it affects many of my relationships.
2. Love this response, I think she points out a lot of good things. I have noticed that when I get enthralled in my work (teaching Kindergarten/preschool), I go for hours without thinking about myself or comparing myself etc. It feels so good. I want to be able to feel like that all the time. An.other thing I do is spend time outside. It sounds lame but I love nature and have been known to go on walks in the woods by myself. It's restorative and just spending time with myself can really help. I never tell anyone about this because it seems strange for a 22 year old girl to be doing this but it's great and really helps reduce anxiety and bring me back to myself

Get yourself a self esteem book. Written by professionals not a cheap one.

You can take some advice here: http://low-selfesteem.com/

Good luck

bump! this thread is great and everyone has awesome suggestions. i too struggle with self-esteem, and reading all the comments was really uplifting!