My kids like me fat!

Innerautumn
Innerautumn Posts: 120 Member
edited December 22 in Motivation and Support
I began my weigh loss journey in February and have worked hard to lose 30 pounds. I am now 5'2" and weigh 133. I would like to lose another 10 pounds. I am currently a size 8 and would like to be a toned size 6. I have three daughters (2, 9, and 13) who do not like the new me! My kids argue and complain when I exercise. If I take them for ice cream, they complain that I don't eat it with them. Today they told me that they would rather have a "squishy" mom. My nine year old said that she has always known me as being "fluffy" and she likes me better that way because it is more mom-ish. She said I don't seem like I am as much of a mom if I have muscles. What the heck??? I feel like they are trying to sabotage my goals. I hope that this transformation teaches them that moms can and SHOULD be healthy.

Replies

  • JoeD1968
    JoeD1968 Posts: 167
    this is great, the reverse happened to me,when my kids started playing football the coaches were better at telling them how to eat then i was..:sad:
    better coming from you than someone else
  • noirnatural
    noirnatural Posts: 310 Member
    I began my weigh loss journey in February and have worked hard to lose 30 pounds. I am now 5'2" and weigh 133. I would like to lose another 10 pounds. I am currently a size 8 and would like to be a toned size 6. I have three daughters (2, 9, and 13) who do not like the new me! My kids argue and complain when I exercise. If I take them for ice cream, they complain that I don't eat it with them. Today they told me that they would rather have a "squishy" mom. My nine year old said that she has always known me as being "fluffy" and she likes me better that way because it is more mom-ish. She said I don't seem like I am as much of a mom if I have muscles. What the heck??? I feel like they are trying to sabotage my goals. I hope that this transformation teaches them that moms can and SHOULD be healthy.

    Are you acting any differently? They may not be used to seeing a more active mom, or if you are dressing differently....Congratulations !!!!
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    They're too young to understand how hard it is to lose and maintain weight yet. I'd tell them that unless they want their mom to die of a heart attack or diabetes, they can just shut up. This is why I'm not a parent yet, lol. I'd be a horrible mother. XD
  • Innerautumn
    Innerautumn Posts: 120 Member
    They're too young to understand how hard it is to lose and maintain weight yet. I'd tell them that unless they want their mom to die of a heart attack or diabetes, they can just shut up. This is why I'm not a parent yet, lol. I'd be a horrible mother. XD
    That is too funny! I thought about presenting all the health risks of being overweight to my nine year old, but I think she might go overboard with it. She worries about everything. I don't want to add to her list.
  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
    My short answer to them would be: "tough noogies".

    In all honesty though, I'd have a talk with them about the importance of health, and how you losing weight will benefit you and your family in the long run - you can do physical activities together, you'll feel better about yourself, and you'll be able to spend a longer portion of their lives with them. I think it's important to stress that, no matter how much weight you lose, you'll still be the same mom.
  • Innerautumn
    Innerautumn Posts: 120 Member
    I began my weigh loss journey in February and have worked hard to lose 30 pounds. I am now 5'2" and weigh 133. I would like to lose another 10 pounds. I am currently a size 8 and would like to be a toned size 6. I have three daughters (2, 9, and 13) who do not like the new me! My kids argue and complain when I exercise. If I take them for ice cream, they complain that I don't eat it with them. Today they told me that they would rather have a "squishy" mom. My nine year old said that she has always known me as being "fluffy" and she likes me better that way because it is more mom-ish. She said I don't seem like I am as much of a mom if I have muscles. What the heck??? I feel like they are trying to sabotage my goals. I hope that this transformation teaches them that moms can and SHOULD be healthy.

    Are you acting any differently? They may not be used to seeing a more active mom, or if you are dressing differently....Congratulations !!!!
    I don't dress differently (except that now my clothes are getting really baggy). I don't think I act differently. I have more energy, but it seems like they would like that...
  • Innerautumn
    Innerautumn Posts: 120 Member
    My short answer to them would be: "tough noogies".

    In all honesty though, I'd have a talk with them about the importance of health, and how you losing weight will benefit you and your family in the long run - you can do physical activities together, you'll feel better about yourself, and you'll be able to spend a longer portion of their lives with them. I think it's important to stress that, no matter how much weight you lose, you'll still be the same mom.

    Great advice! Thanks so much! I love this!
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    Once a few months back I broke down and took little miss to McDonalds. When I did the classic fat guy tip-the-fry-box-to-my-face-to-get-every-last-bit my little girl said, "There's my daddy."

    Little :grumble:
  • MooMooooo
    MooMooooo Posts: 306 Member
    They are just normal - all humans resist change.

    You can either ignore the comments or tackle them head on.

    Either way they will go away, the kids will adjust and your body shape will become a non issue for them (as it should be)

    Congratulations and kisses xxx
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    They're too young to understand how hard it is to lose and maintain weight yet. I'd tell them that unless they want their mom to die of a heart attack or diabetes, they can just shut up. This is why I'm not a parent yet, lol. I'd be a horrible mother. XD
    That is too funny! I thought about presenting all the health risks of being overweight to my nine year old, but I think she might go overboard with it. She worries about everything. I don't want to add to her list.

    Fair enough. Just find a way to communicate that this new change is a positive thing. That and unless they wanna grow up to be fatties that they should start eating like you too, sounds harsh but I wish someone told me that as a child. :P
  • peace_pigeon
    peace_pigeon Posts: 120 Member
    Change is so hard for kids! As they watch you change (the person who is most important to them- their world) I am sure they are worried about what it all means for them. Will you still do *mom things*? What will other kids think about you/them if you look different from other moms? I would just keep on reassuring them that you are still the same mom who loves them and will take care of them forever, no matter what your outside looks like. They might need to hear it a lot for a while. I would also try to get them involved in the fun aspects of having a fit momma- challenge them to races, take them to a farmers market to pick out interesting foods, ride bikes, ect. Make it fun!
  • HelloSweetie4
    HelloSweetie4 Posts: 1,214 Member
    they'll eventually get used to it. It's like when you have long hair for a long time and then cut it short it looks strange for a while, but you get used to it
  • Innerautumn
    Innerautumn Posts: 120 Member
    Thanks for all the support and advice. I did not like their comments but they did not make me want to go back to being their "fluffy mom". If anything it makes me want to work harder so that they don't think moms need to look fat. I want them to be healthy moms when they grow up.
  • vanillaeclare
    vanillaeclare Posts: 18
    I've got 2 young children, 4 and 2. Feel free to add me. I'd love a Mommy friend! Congrats on all your weight loss!
  • NNAhuja
    NNAhuja Posts: 669 Member
    The "squishy" mom thing I can relate to with my mom. I love cuddling with my "squishy" mom but when she lost weight, she was less cuddly. I was older when it happened so I just put a pillow between us and dealt with it. As for the ice cream, I'd get ice cream with them and just burn it off! That's a pretty easy prob to solve.
  • bm99
    bm99 Posts: 597 Member
    I hope that this transformation teaches them that moms can and SHOULD be healthy.

    First of all, ignore the little brats :happy: Or talk to them about health and being fit. Either one, they'll get over it and be happier (even if they dont realize it) with a fitter, happier mom.

    I really, really love that you said what is quoted above, as that's one of the reasons I am trying to lose weight. It is very dangerous that kids see parents being overweight as a normal thing.

    You're doing great, and way to go on not letting them demotivate you. When they understand they will look back on this time and be so proud of you :flowerforyou:
  • Innerautumn
    Innerautumn Posts: 120 Member
    Thank you for your words bm99 and good luck to you in reaching your goals as well.
  • kimdarren
    kimdarren Posts: 76 Member
    I agree with all of the healthy eating etc talk, but at the end of the day, you are still a mum. It would't hurt just once in awhile or on the odd occasion to sit in the park and have an ice cream with them. Some of my happier moments as a child are being at the park having a picnic & an icecream. You just have to remember to keep a reign on it and keep in control. x
  • michward10
    michward10 Posts: 4 Member
    Growing up my mom weighed over 300 lbs. When I was 7ish she got stomach surgery and started losing weight. Even though I was happy to have a healthier mom it was also scary seeing her change... I had grown so used to seeing her look the same way every single day for 7 years and such drastic changes in her appearance scared me.. I thought if she didn't look like my mom maybe she wouldn't keep acting like my mom.

    Another possibility is that your kids could be jealous of your new healthier lifestyle. I'm a bit obsessive when it comes to losing weight and it takes everything in me not to bore my family to death going on about how many calories i need to burn and so on.. Perhaps you have also been preoccupied with your diet and your children feel like you're so busy thinking about your diet that you no longer have time for them.

    Either way, just spend some "diet/exercise talk-free" time with your kids and make sure they know that no matter how you look, you'll always be the same mom to them.
  • jumpyjavajawa
    jumpyjavajawa Posts: 36 Member
    What are some games they like to play? Play tag with them, catch, something that requires running around and having tons of fun. Get a great routine of on day X we play this game each week or do something fun and new.
    After a week or so ask them if they like going out and having fun with you then let them know, squishy mom can't do that because she'd get tired too fast. New mom can do sooooo many fun new things and go on adventures with them. Squishy, fluffy mom would get tired and they would have never experienced all that play with mom time.
    Go to the pool, check out any outdoor parks, biking, I don't know where you're from but if available try out indoor rock climbing, even a day at the zoo! Fluffy mom would last an hour and you wouldn't see all the animals, new mom can go all day! (Or at least long enough for the whole zoo lol)

    I agree with the others as well, have an ice cream! You most likely do it as a once in a while treat for them, so add it into your diet as a once in a while treat for you! You deserve a break to!
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