Mixed messages, and so very confused.

I don't know what the right way is but I have been losing very slowly. I have been actively trying for almost a year and am at 31 lbs lost. I have donE quick weight loss before and seem to gain it back easier when I go that route.

I'm right with you - a little over a year, and 31 lbs lost - It's all about the person, I guess - you try things out, and see what works for you. everyone is unique.

I have lost weight several times. I have done low fat, low carb, nutrition shakes, 1000 calories or less etc. I have gained it back every time. Just because these diets work, doesn't mean that the weight will stay off. You have to change your lifestyle in a way that is sustainable. If you lose weight in a slow and healthy way, I believe you will have a better chance and maintaining your weightloss because it's done in a way that is not so restrictive that you would give up on it and revert back to your old habits. Anyway, that's my two cents worth.

Even if you see these people in person, and it seems like they're doing great, talk to them in 2 or 3 years and see how it's going.

Ultimately they don't matter, though. If your doctor thinks you're doing great, I don't see what the problem is. Don't go looking for problems where none exist It's not productive to compare your weight loss to anyone else's as a form of validation or justification of what you're doing.

You're successful. Period. Don't question it until you stop being successful.
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Thank you. This is very helpful to me. I realize that I didn't put on all this excess weight overnight; however I am doing something for my overall health and learning in the process.

I've had a vertical gastric sleeve and even with us sleevers the diet varies. Some are eating less than 1000 calories a year out. Some like me always eat more because wanted heathy fats in my diet to keep my skin from being baggy. Some won't touch carbs. I do.

You've got to find out what is going to work for you for the rest of your life. My surgery helped me lose enough to start running and have an active life, but I won't be dieting the rest of my life. Why do I want to run? So I can eat more. I don't want to give up the joy of eating.

Don't dispair!!!!! If keeping a healthy weight was easy for all of us or if there was a solution or some magic, Oprah would always be skinny.

I would recommend not polling the average opinion of the forum. The correct answer isn't the average of the group, it is the subset that happens to be correct

Why don't you google a topic and only work with reputable organizations, Mayo and Livestrong are good bets. I suspect you will find everything known and true at the mayo clinic site.

EvanKeel is SO RIGHT! I've lost the same 80 pounds twice already. The way I did it before is to deprive myself and lose extremely fast and then in 2 to 3 years I balloon back up to where I was. I keep gaining back because I can't seem to tell myself no or live without the stuff you're not supposed to have. I'm really excited about this time though because I feel like I'm mature enough to make better choices for my body. My plan is to only eat the calories I have set to reach my goals, not including exercise calories. I feel like that way I will be getting the nutrition my body needs, and I'll still be doing my body good with exercise. Being that successful weight loss is a lifestyle change I want to take an approach that I will be able to maintain for the rest of my life. This time hopefully I can manage to make the calories count and try harder to eat things that fill me up and do the body good. I too am an emotional eater, and that is a hurdle I haven't figured out how to tackle. I've only recently figured out that when I get emotional I reach for the lunchbox and feel like I'm really teaching whoever I'm mad at a lesson. (really?!) I hope you find a way to lose weight that really works for you and you can feel confident in knowing you're doing it right. Sometimes it feels like being unsure about what you're doing is just as dangerous as an unsupervised chocolate cake!

Having been on this site for a while, there are several common threads.

First, you're correct that there are plenty of people on this site who stick to their 1200 calories/day and swear up and down that they're losing tons of weight and quickly. They say eating back their exercise calories will cause them to gain weight and that because the number on their scale (which unfortunately seems to be the ultimate sign of success or failure) has gone down, even temporarily, then what they're doing MUST be the answer.

Second, you hear just as many people on this site who fall into that group and pop up complain about how their weight loss stalled or how their weight went up. Many people who see the idiocy of the first group, who actually eat back their exercise calories, who know what they're talking about, will inform this group that they're doing more harm than good and need to eat back their exercise calories. Sometimes they learn the error of their ways, other times not.

But the important thing is that we can all understand and relate to you wanting faster results and seeing other people getting them (albeit either temporarily and/or at the expense of their long-term health) can seem discouraging. But remember that the grass is not greener on the other side- just because they're scale is telling them a smaller number, doesn't mean they're any healthier, faster and/or stronger. You also need to make the important distinction that you are on your own journey and what anyone else says or does ultimately should have little to no impact on it.

Oohh! I feel exactly the same way! I don't know what to do :S I've tried eating very little and exercising loads, I did actually lose weight, but I found I couldn't keep it up. I'd binge eat later and would ruin everything. I'm trying to take it slow now, and I actually think I'm losing weight just as fast as I did before, but via less extreme methods. Which is probably a good thing

Hmmm... I'd probably just try to find whatever works for you. But I'm no expert so I don't know :P
Good luck though!

Yep, there's a lot of confusion for me too. But I've decided I've got to do what's best for me, even if it means the weight will come off slowly. I've been dieting for 6 weeks and have only lost 4 pounds of the 15 I need to lose. That's so frustrating to me! But I'd rather "do it right" and re-learn good eating and exercise habits that last a lifetime than do a fad diet that gets me to lose fast only to regain it quickly. Do what's right (and healthy) for you!

I have decided to just start eating 1000-1200 calories, and see how that goes. That seems to be working for so many people, so that is what I will try. If I pass out or feel bad, I am sure I will get over it. It will definitely take some getting used to. But, since everyone is saying that very obese people can safely do it, then I guess I should try. If after a few weeks it doesn't work, I don't know what I will do.

It's probably not a bad idea to get your doctor's take on this even if his background isn't in nutrition specifically. He may have some experience with patients on low-calorie diets.