Deleting friends who aren't logging in.

KNarrainen
KNarrainen Posts: 135 Member
edited December 22 in Motivation and Support
I was wondering how long before you delete friends who don't log onto MFP?

In some cases I know that people are dealing with medical issues in which case, fair enough.

But one person on my friends list hasn't logged in for 3 months, in that time I have posted on their wall and sent them supportive messages asking if they are okay and when they might come back.

I also noticed that in the past they have taken a 10 month hiatus from MFP.

I don't want friends just to have a list of friends, I want them as a group that support each other mostly that is what I get, there are just a few exceptions.

Anyway, thoughts appreciated.

Replies

  • GemmaRowlands
    GemmaRowlands Posts: 360 Member
    I don't bother deleting them to be honest. If they start logging in again and need support I like to be there for them, and if they're not posting then they're no problem to me just sitting on my friend's list so they can stay.
  • hunter1025
    hunter1025 Posts: 281 Member
    I usually wait about1-2 months. I have found that they don't usually lag back in after that or they deleted their MPF account.
  • sandown12
    sandown12 Posts: 648 Member
    3months but also if they never ever interact as having 70+ buddys its hard to interact with everyone and those who support me I try doing the same visa versa x
  • Ralphrabbit
    Ralphrabbit Posts: 351 Member
    I have phases where I delete friends who seem to have disappeared. If they just happen to be in my list I have less of a problem with them than if they are active but not changing bad eating habits! If I have friends I take the time to check their diary & comment on how they are doing well or could improve (kindly of course!) I expect the same from them but not every day just on occasion, If I can not see a diary I can not comment on what they are eating, in positive or negative ways. If they really do not want to share that is their choice but I can not really support them as I would like. So I end up deleting them as they just end-up taking up news feed space! That may seem harsh but they do what they have to do & I do what I have to do!
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
    I think it's personal preference. It's not doing any harm keeping them on your friends list. If you've sent messages and had no reply you could always send another to say you're removing them due to inactivity but they're welcome to re-add you if they decide to come back :smile:
  • MemFox
    MemFox Posts: 35 Member
    odd question.. Why are you their ''friend'' in the first place?
    I know Ive had a week or two here and there where I've stopped logging,, or not logged consistently.. Life gets busy, more important things in life happen (yes more important than self indulging weight loss) and sometimes we all just need a break from it..
    I think you need to think about why your here.. Deleting others because their not as dedicated as you? or whatever reason seems odd.. Just my thoughts..
  • thebigcb
    thebigcb Posts: 2,210 Member
    I don;t bother deleting them

    Sure if they aren;t logging etc, not like they are taking up any of your time
  • Pixie_star1234
    Pixie_star1234 Posts: 55 Member
    I delete them after a month or so, although I do also delete people who annoy me :)
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    While it might not be a problem for most, after you're here for a long time and/or if you're very active on the forums, you end up getting a lot of friend requests. I add pretty much everyone who sends a request, but there's been times that I hit the limit of 1000 friends. Should I tell new friends, "No, I can't add you because someone added me four months ago and hasn't logged in for three months?"
  • MashaSK
    MashaSK Posts: 142 Member
    I try to comment and be interested in everyone in my friendlist even with time zone changes. But I delete those who never write me back, anorexia-bullemia on a regulat basis and guys with offensive sexist comments about girls in general
  • KNarrainen
    KNarrainen Posts: 135 Member
    odd question.. Why are you their ''friend'' in the first place?
    I know Ive had a week or two here and there where I've stopped logging,, or not logged consistently.. Life gets busy, more important things in life happen (yes more important than self indulging weight loss) and sometimes we all just need a break from it..
    I think you need to think about why your here.. Deleting others because their not as dedicated as you? or whatever reason seems odd.. Just my thoughts..

    Thanks for your thoughts, as I stated in my opening post: I prefer to have people on my friends list that are supporting each other and engaging, I'm only talking about people who haven't logged in for at least 2 months that I am considering deleting.

    I'm not judging anyone by deciding to delete them, I've added people to my friend list who are either doing similar things to me in terms of exercise program or at a similar stage, and if they are not participating any more, I don't see the need to keep them on my friends list, it's my own personal perception of how I like to manage my friends list, everyone probably has their own critieria which is fine.
  • chazsucks
    chazsucks Posts: 170
    I have deleted people after 16months no posts. I try to keep my friends list not too full and I don't accept just any friend request and I don't often add people myself, there's usually a reason
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
    I hate deleting people, but I usually give them 30 days.

    I will see if they are away on holiday first. I will typically message someone that hasn't logged in for 7 days to see if anything is wrong, etc. I will keep someone on my list that is having trouble, just so I can keep track of them and make sure they are okay. I have a few friends on here with some problems and I want to watch out for them.
  • Dare2BThin
    Dare2BThin Posts: 211 Member
    When I first started MFP they had a extremely low cut off of friend so I use to delete ppl who hadnt logged in 30 days to make room for new friends....now Idont really bother because they lifted the friends limit
  • WildcatMom82
    WildcatMom82 Posts: 564 Member
    I wait a month or two. A lot of times it's someone who had just joined and disappears after a week or two so I don't really "know" them that well anyway. People I know IRL or through other social media I keep in case they come back :)
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    You are putting way too much thought into this. They aren't actually your friends just because that's what the site calls them.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    I delete all kinds of people for all kinds of reasons. I just like clicking the button, I think.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    Use caution! Folks can get mighty worked up when you delete them. :frown:
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    They aren't actually your friends just because that's what the site calls them.
    :drinker:
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
    I delete people who I don't interact with much. If they don't interact with me and I don't interact with them, what's the point?
  • greasygriddle_wechnage
    greasygriddle_wechnage Posts: 246 Member
    I LOVE how MFP isn’t a fitness site, but really a popularity contest. Christ, hello 1985! :noway:
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    I delete people who I don't interact with much. If they don't interact with me and I don't interact with them, what's the point?

    define interaction? Because the pics I keep getting are starting to scare me, just fyi
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
    I delete people who I don't interact with much. If they don't interact with me and I don't interact with them, what's the point?

    define interaction? Because the pics I keep getting are starting to scare me, just fyi

    Well, I'm interacting with you regardless.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    Use caution! Folks can get mighty worked up when you delete them. :frown:

    I think people care less than you think they do.
  • eriemer
    eriemer Posts: 197
    I have deleted, most of my friend on MFP give a warning before they go on vacation, have surgery, or aren't going to be logging in for a while. I do tend to my friend list every now and again since I started adding friend. I agree, I add for support and feel I give support in return. I like adding ppl who aren't quite newbies and have made a commitment to weight loss. I will also delete friend's who don't eat enough. (900 cals or less, not NET, I don't follow NET but there is no excuse for not eating) I prefer to see your diary but if you lock it i'm okay with that too.
  • KNarrainen
    KNarrainen Posts: 135 Member
    Use caution! Folks can get mighty worked up when you delete them. :frown:

    How strange?

    Do people really get worked up about being deleted?
    Like somebody else said, they're not really your friends. Although I feel like there are a few people I have connected with who if geography wasn't an issue I would suggest meeting up, as feel I have gotten to know them a bit.

    But seriously, what's to get worked up about? Each to their own.

    And if I decided to delete someone, and they got worked up, well... I'm not likely to re-add you if that was your reaction.

    There's nowt as queer as folk...
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