I want to give up nursing!!!

rai8759
rai8759 Posts: 296 Member
edited December 22 in Motivation and Support
Ok.. so breastfeeding. Good for me. Good for my little girl. Frustrating as h*ll.

So this morning I wake up, feed her with not that much problem. Come the next feeding she eats a little and starts fussing. I'm wondering... Is she hungry and not eating because my milk is coming too slow? I don't want to offer her the other breast because she drained that one the last feeding and the one she needs to eat on now ALREADY makes less milk... ugh. I don't want lopsided boobs!

Maybe she is not hungry? Going from every 3 hours to 4? She is almost 4 months old now. Sometimes she does and sometimes she doesn't. Should I pump or just wait it out until the next feeding? I HATE PUMPING.

Just having a small psychotic break... but besides the extra calorie boost.. I'm kind of fed up today. Just looking for some encouragement.

Replies

  • Sondras09
    Sondras09 Posts: 30 Member
    Dont over think it. Just nurse when she is hungry. If you arent needing the pumped milk for any reason, dont stress yourself with pumping. Its not worth the hassle. The baby will go through times where they will eat ALL THE TIME, then other times where you will wonder if they are eating enough. As long as there are enough wet diapers through the day you are doing it all right! Just keep it up, stress less, and just enjoy your moments :)

    (im currently nursing my 3rd baby, she will be 10 months on sat : )
  • starla5881
    starla5881 Posts: 190 Member
    Oh, I have been there! I had similar problems with my daughter favoring one side over the other, but it passed in time. I didn't like pumping either, but your best bet might be to just pump on the side that she's not nursing from for a few minutes every day. It will keep you from getting too lopsided, and keep your production up until she's ready to nurse on that side again.
    And while there's a good chance that it will get better soon, remember that you can stop nursing if you feel like you have to. You've nursed through the most crucial period already. There are definite benefits to continuing, but not if it makes you insane.
  • curvykim78
    curvykim78 Posts: 799 Member
    Don't give up. Been there done that with my 3 kids. The more you nurse her or pump, the more milk you will make. She might fuss if your milk tastes different, such as due to exercising. She also might be fussy because she could be going through a growth spurt and is really hungry, Maybe that's why she wants to eat more often. I'd offer BOTH breast at a sitting, that way whatever she takes out, will begin to refill and it will encourage your body to make more milk.
  • terrigrace
    terrigrace Posts: 199 Member
    Yep, all of the above. My daughter nursed until she was 18 months and then just stopped. I think it was my crazy work schedule. She was done to just one feeding before bed and since someone else put her to bed 3 nights a week she just got out of the habit. I miss it, but I don't miss those darn pumping sessions, freezing the milk, checking the dates. Ugh. She preferred one side too, so I got in the habit of offering both each feeding, then starting with the side she finished on before. Never seemed to have a milk production problem unless I had to go a whole day with just the pump. It was never as efficient as she was. I bought some really nice breast shields that fit inside my pump (medela softfit) and a pumpinpal (pumpinpal.com) kit. It helped because I could pump both sides at once hands free and the softfit shields (I had an Ameda pump, but those shields fit pretty much anything) actually pumped more than just the regular shields.

    There were just some days where I was exhausted, frustrated, and constantly questioning if I was doing the right thing. If she's peeing and pooping enough, you are just fine. You are a great mom and will always have her best interests at heart. If that means giving up breast feeding so that you are more relaxed, then that's what you do. if that means continuing like you are, then that's what you do. You will both be just fine. Hugs,
  • SweatpantsRebellion
    SweatpantsRebellion Posts: 754 Member
    ((HUGS)) I love nursing my babies, but I hate dealing with nursing issues. And sometimes I just get tired of nursing. Hang in there - you'll be glad you did.

    I second the advice to pump on the side that's not being used as much - keep yourself comfortable!

    Also, I'd watch for any sign of fussing, mouthing hand, etc...and offer her the option of nursing. Skin on skin contact can also encourage nursing. Do you have a sling/carrier to wear her around in? The extra closeness often encourages nursing.

    I also agree that I'd offer both breasts. Definitely offer the one that's engorged first, but better for her to nurse on the other one than not at all. Another option is to pump a little on the side she doesn't want and then offer it to her once the milk starts flowing.

    I know this sounds like a lot of work. We always see these peaceful nursing pictures. Nobody puts a picture of a baby screaming, arching the back, and turning the head away from the breast. But this is reality for many of us when issues hit. If you feel like this becomes an ongoing problem I'd definitely recommend seeking out a qualified ICBLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant). I needed a lot of help to successfully nurse my oldest son - so thankful for the women who've made it their career to help new nursing moms. Use that resource if you need it!
  • PippaJo_
    PippaJo_ Posts: 233 Member
    I also agree that I'd offer both breasts. Definitely offer the one that's engorged first, but better for her to nurse on the other one than not at all.

    If you feel like this becomes an ongoing problem I'd definitely recommend seeking out a qualified ICBLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant).


    This, and this.

    I'm not sure why you're only offering one breast at a feeding (unless I've misunderstood)? I always offered both breasts - burping in between, and if the baby didn't 'finish' the second breast, I just started on that side the next time.

    Also, it looks like you might be feeding on a 'clock schedule'? (The question about 4 hours rather than 3 made me wonder.) If so - unless your baby has specific special nutritional needs, don't worry about the clock, instead just watch her for signs of hunger, and feed then. (Just like you're not always hungry at 'mealtimes', she might not be either!)


    As for lopsidedness - YMMV, but for me, I was a bit lopsided to start with (many women are), and there was absolutely *nothing* I could do to 'fix' it - and I tried. I tried pumping on the less-used side, starting and finishing feeding on that side, everything. Whenever I pumped for storage, I found that I could get three times the amount from the bigger breast than the smaller breast - I think the smaller side might genuinely have had fewer ducts or something. It made me so crazy with my first baby (and he began refusing that breast because he just didn't get enough out of it to satisfy him) that with my second baby, I just gave up on that breast - fed 100% from the bigger breast only, and I still had plenty of milk for on-demand feeding. (Pumping was another story - I could never pump or store much at all.)

    Basically, the point of that is - don't let worries about lopsidedness prevent you from giving your baby the best. Your boobs will do what your boobs will do - but feed anyway, because it's about the nutrition, and the closeness, not about looks.

    Stick with it! It can be challenging at times, and every experience is different, but overall it's usually worth it. :-)
  • NellyRabbit
    NellyRabbit Posts: 11 Member
    Really, you are doing great. Sometimes it seems like being done would be easier, but having done both formula and nursing I can truly say nursing is easier in the long run. I love not having to remember the formula and the bottles and cleaning the bottles,, but I totally understand how frustrating it can be to figure it out everyday. I promise it does get easier. If you are worried about supply you can also take a natural supplement called fenugreek. It worked amazingly well for me and my youngest was able to nurse until 19 months. And don't feel silly talking with a lactation consultant, that is their job, I saw one about 5 times with my 2nd daughter and up until she was about 7 months old. They have tons of ideas. Hope everything works out. :flowerforyou:
  • Sapporo
    Sapporo Posts: 693 Member
    Just keep going, you'll get to a point where you'll realize it is a piece of cake and glad you didn't give up. I totally formula fed my 1st from day 1 and my 2nd was only breastfed, Overall looking at both I wish I never did the formula.
  • rai8759
    rai8759 Posts: 296 Member
    hey ladies!

    Thank you so much for the help. I was just at the end of my rope! My husband seems to think she is fussy due to being sick (she has a little scratchy throat probably a virus according to her doc). I do feed her from both sides at every feeding, but I always offer the smaller side first so she can drain it and hopefully increase the supply. Thanks for the advice, and if we keep having problems I will absolutely talk to a lactation consultant. In the past she has gone through little spurts of moodiness with the breast and they have resolved in a few feedings. Right now I'm at work and pumping and my hubby is home with her so I'm getting a little break from the stress.

    Thanks again!
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