Why do they do that!

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holly0171
holly0171 Posts: 19 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Why do they do that! I wanted to try and attempt a healthy meal so I could enjoy a family dinner together...Dear husband gets grumpy because he wants fried chicken...Dont worry you can eat it...just have one..NO! I dont want to have just one. Then my motherrinlaw calls and wants to know if my daughter can go to the mall with her tomorrow...Husband says Let me call you back and talk to Holly she was water arobics tomorrow..Here is the conversaition, You are going to have to miss water arobics tomorrow my mom wants "daughter" to go to the mall with her...HMMM really! why did you even talk to me then. So now I have to stay home with son, (to young to be home alone) or drag him there kicking and screaming. So..I had a salad, I freaking hungry as all get out, and now it looks like Im dragging my son to water arobics..I am feeling so grumpy and sad....and I dont know what else....:sad:

Replies

  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
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    I think you should find a baby sitter. Let your husband know that if he'd like your daughter to visit with her grandmother, you're all for it. But, you have other plans so a babysitter is your compromise.

    As to the fried chicken, I'm sorry. I'm hoping you at least had your husband make it himself.
  • holly0171
    holly0171 Posts: 19 Member
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    Update..No, I made the fried chicken and ate my salad.....And I took my son with me....He hated every minute of it..But I felt since I made MY commitment to it, that I was carving time out to do it, in my busy schedule, that it wasnt ok to just miss it...My will power withstood, just hope it keeps going. Its not going to be easy, and I am sure there will be more situations like that, I just have to keep trudging on...But thanks for the support!
  • momtokgo
    momtokgo Posts: 446 Member
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    How old is your son? Maybe next time send him to the mall with your MIL....she can deal with him hating every minute!
  • Arthemise1
    Arthemise1 Posts: 365 Member
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    You deserve to eat healthy and exercise. Fight for it. If the husband wants something other than that, he can darn well do it himself. My husband wouldn't even think of telling me what to do. He asks, like a partner should.

    I'm rooting for you.
  • iluvprettyshoes
    iluvprettyshoes Posts: 605 Member
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    Mine lately has taken to cooking dinner and making stuff that I can't eat...and then I feel guilty for not eating it bc he cooked it. It's tempting already bc it's my favorite foods and then the guilt factor in there makes it hard to resist!
  • Asil02
    Asil02 Posts: 261
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    I am so sorry that you have had to deal with that. I am with momtokgo in that the MIL should have the boy with her and "daughter". I probably would have stood my ground and said no, daughter needs to be home so I can make my aerobics class. MIL can get daughter afterward or another day.
    Good luck with this in the future!
  • sewedo1
    sewedo1 Posts: 200 Member
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    What about baking your piece of chicken with all those yummy herbs. Maybe your husband will eventually get curious enough to try "your" foods once he sees them being enjoyed. I eat fried from time-to-time, just remove the skin and have a smaller portion. Sounds like better communication is needed in many areas, so when you're calm, ask him to sit down and discuss how to handle such matters in the future so it's a "win" situation for everyone.
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
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    where was "hubby" ? couldn't he look after your son?

    Good for you for the salad too
  • Athijade
    Athijade Posts: 3,272 Member
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    I would have had a piece of chicken as long as if fit into my calories. Or, I would have compromised and made a baked "fried" chicken so you get the flavor and crunch without the calories.
  • patchesgizmo
    patchesgizmo Posts: 244 Member
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    sounds like hubby is trying to sabotage you. Not intentionally but subconsciously he might have a deep hidden fear that if you lose the wieght you will leave him or some such nonsense.

    You are right, you made the commitment, so stick to it and if he wanted fried chicken then he can fix it himself.

    See why I am single???? been divorced for over 20 years and have never looked back. I have hard enough time putting up with my own crap, I cannot deal with someone elses.
  • YuffieKisaragi
    YuffieKisaragi Posts: 13 Member
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    I know what you mean. My boyfriend is actually very supportive of my diet, but he is a cook at a bar by profession and loves cooking (so do I and I have some healthy recipes for him to choose from but...). Anyway, he really wants to surprise me with dinner some day but he's scared because he doesn't know what I'll have already eaten for the day or if I've already used a cheat day for the week. So it just hasn't happened yet, but he does always let me know when he's going to cook something nice so I can see if I can afford the calories. :)
  • RuthieCass
    RuthieCass Posts: 247 Member
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    Why do they do that! I wanted to try and attempt a healthy meal so I could enjoy a family dinner together...Dear husband gets grumpy because he wants fried chicken...Dont worry you can eat it...just have one..NO! I dont want to have just one. Then my motherrinlaw calls and wants to know if my daughter can go to the mall with her tomorrow...Husband says Let me call you back and talk to Holly she was water arobics tomorrow..Here is the conversaition, You are going to have to miss water arobics tomorrow my mom wants "daughter" to go to the mall with her...HMMM really! why did you even talk to me then. So now I have to stay home with son, (to young to be home alone) or drag him there kicking and screaming. So..I had a salad, I freaking hungry as all get out, and now it looks like Im dragging my son to water arobics..I am feeling so grumpy and sad....and I dont know what else....:sad:

    Your husband does sound like he is sabotaging you a bit here. If he wants the unhealthy food, he should learn how to cook it himself. My fiance is very skinny and has no reason to watch what he eats. But when I cook, he eats eat and loves my "healthy" food. He eats tofu and tempeh and anything else-- and then he thanks me for cooking it. If he really wants something unhealthy, he will eat it out or eat a frozen pizza (and sometimes I join him for a smaller portion).

    The whole water aerobics conversation continues his behavior. First, he should've discussed the plans with you, not told you to miss your class. Everyone deserves some of their own time to do something important, whether it is working out, playing video games, or whatever. This seems like a fairly easy and thing to do, especially since the class is unlikely to last very long. If your husband was unavailable to watch your son, the trip to the mall could've been pushed earlier or later, or to another day. It seems pretty inconsiderate to ask you to not go to a class that's on a fixed schedule in order to accommodate a mall trip that is not on a fixed schedule.

    Maybe you should talk to your husband about being more supportive. Even if he is not overweight himself, I am sure he can work on improving his health through diet. And surely he wants you to be healthy and happy? Maybe he has some anxieties/insecurities himself about your potential weight loss? All I know is that it can be really hard to be with a partner that is so unsupportive of you improving your health (I speak from experience with my ex).

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