Upset not getting enough support

BreakingUpWith75lbs_Cass
BreakingUpWith75lbs_Cass Posts: 181
in Motivation and Support
I've lost 30+ pounds so far my goal to lose 65.. I know you can see a huge difference yet my so called friends and family refuse to give me any recognition for it not a single you look nice or your doing great ect.. (yes my hubby tells me all the time I look great I'm glad for that) but as far as extended family its almost like they are jealous and want me to fail (which isn't going to happen) hubby says to just ignore them and I do but it still hurts. but it won't stop me from getting to my goal. add me always welcome new fitness pals... cass2u2

Replies

  • loneworg
    loneworg Posts: 342 Member
    Your hubby is right, screw them. You are doing awesome, halfway to your goal.
  • yankeegrl223
    yankeegrl223 Posts: 3
    I feel it's always nice to get the outside recognition for all the hard work you are doing. However, I've learned with several things over the past few years, that YOU are the only one who will ever know the exact amount of blood, sweat and tears you have put in to this. I'm just beginning, but I think 30+ pounds of weight loss is commendable and inspirational! With that being said, I'll give you a great big YOU GO GIRL! Best wishes to you in reaching your goal!
  • BreakingUpWith75lbs_Cass
    BreakingUpWith75lbs_Cass Posts: 181
    Thank you so much guys!!!! xx
  • nattielove
    nattielove Posts: 17 Member
    Remember that you're doing this for yourself, not for them! And the fact you have a supportive husband in the first place is better than nothing. Maybe they just feel awkward saying anything. What if they said hey you're looking great you've lost weight.. some people would turn around and think .. well what? did i look bad before?
    it's all in your perspective
  • lacewitch
    lacewitch Posts: 766 Member
    I think most people are are at heart insecure, and to see you changing your life and making a difference reminds them of their own insecurities.
    just keep proving to yourself you can do it and get where YOU want to do through YOUR hard work

    all i can say is losing 30lb is amazing and inspirational
    well done!
  • wantstolooseweight
    wantstolooseweight Posts: 166 Member
    Sending a huge hug!!! My mother used to make snarky comments all the time "you cant wear red at your weight" I've learnt to ignore the family "energy vampires".... end of the day your doing this for YOU!!!! YOU YOU YOU YOURSELF AND YOU!!!!! Your husband is being supportive and you have come so far!! Bask in your own glory, their probably just jealous that you have the will power and your sticking to it. If you want cheering up and a little support then feel free to add me, and I'm sure many of the others on here will be feeling the same. The only person who is important and can make the decisions to stick to things is you so be proud of how far you have come without the family. (Hell you may even get the last laugh at christmas when you ask them for the recipt to take that jumper back for a smaller size!) Good luck and remember how far you have come x
  • tanyaslosingit
    tanyaslosingit Posts: 178 Member
    I have to share this story with you as we are in a similar situation:

    Most of my co-workers are male. Next to me, in fact is a guy who is also on a weight-loss campaign. We had never acknowledged each others efforts! I never acknowledged his efforts because he seemed somewhat embarrassed about it (I only know because I've seen what he's been eating lately.) The other day, a friend of ours came in and was talking about a personal trainer. I couldn't resist and was showing this friend my FitBit and we were talking about apps (MyFitnessPal and FItBit.) This actually broke the ice between all three of us. From there, word spread about my tech toy and it turns out a *lot* of other people are not only on their own weight-loss campaigns but *had* noticed my weight loss. Many were afraid to say anything for fear of being accused of sexual harassment! Now we're all good; but it was a lonely couple of months!

    I don't doubt that there are people who are/will be jealous and/or feel threatened by your weight loss. Other heavy people in particular seem to become more resentful and women especially so; but like the old saw goes: The best revenge is in living well!

    Hang in there, there are great things ahead :-)
  • klg_2003
    klg_2003 Posts: 2
    You are doing great! Don't let their jealousy and lack of support get you down. Use their jealousy as motivation to make them even more jealous! People get jealous because you are doing what they can not or are not willing to do. Feel proud of your accomplishments and continue working toward your goal.
  • bradphil87
    bradphil87 Posts: 617 Member
    I've lost 30+ pounds so far my goal to lose 65.. I know you can see a huge difference yet my so called friends and family refuse to give me any recognition for it not a single you look nice or your doing great ect.. (yes my hubby tells me all the time I look great I'm glad for that) but as far as extended family its almost like they are jealous and want me to fail (which isn't going to happen) hubby says to just ignore them and I do but it still hurts. but it won't stop me from getting to my goal. add me always welcome new fitness pals... cass2u2
    My brothers were the same way....I think they are jelious. However my oldest one is starting to come around :) my other one I'm sure would love it of I failed. I think he would live it more than anything in the world.....he constantly picks my biggest insecurity and points it out :( I just tell him that, yes I may still have a larger belly for now, but I'm happy with the progress I am making and as long as I stick to eating right and working out (like I have been) it WILL go away eventually. But it sucks to hear....like when I wear my new large shirts and I feel like I look good and he tells me that they they don't look good on me because they are a bit tight....screw him....Im sick of wearing baggy clothes and covering myself up. Everyone else complements me but him. Especially my friends...(one of them actully bought me the shirt as a gift because he said my xl's were hanging off me :) ) so don't let it get to you...focas on the people that give you support, not the ones trying to break you down
  • devonette
    devonette Posts: 263 Member
    I've been on both ends of your situation before. It's possible your friends don't know you'd like more support and positive input, or making positive comments about your weight loss might be viewed as them thinking you were too fat before and therefore insulting. If your friends and family KNOW (you've told them) you are making the effort to lose weight, and the weight loss is obvious, it could be either they are jealous or they don't think you need to lose weight. Sometimes their saying nothing is better than them saying something negative about it. If your friends and family have not been told you are purposely making the effort to lose weight, and the weight loss is obvious, they may think you are losing weight because you are ill and they are afraid to say something like "wow, you're doing great with your weight loss" only to find out that you may be losing due to a disease. Have you said anything to them to indicate you are trying to lose weight and encouragement is welcome?

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