We are pleased to announce that on March 4, 2025, an updated Rich Text Editor will be introduced in the MyFitnessPal Community. To learn more about the upcoming changes, please click here. We look forward to sharing this new feature with you!

Striking balance with body fat, abs, age, etc

Woolooloo
Woolooloo Posts: 82
edited December 2024 in Motivation and Support
Over the course of a year I met my weight loss and fitness goals, and then for a contest at my gym, I pushed further, lost 55 pounds total, dropped my body fat to about 8%, and got pretty reasonable abs for a 41 year old. The contest ended a month ago about the time my 2nd child was born and I've indulged quite a bit in that time. I mentioned this evening to my wife that I needed to get serious again because my weight is up 10 pounds (to 170) from the low I hit and she said that I look better at this weight. She said the lower weight aged my face and that several people had commented that I looked too skinny, even like I might be sick.

That was kind of hard to hear, I had worked hard to get down to that weight, and it was a weight where my abs were probably as good as I can get them. Unfortunately genetically I seem to lose weight in my midsection last like a lot of guys. At 170 you can see them but they really aren't very pronounced. I admit at the lower weight I could see the "aging" at times in photos or in the mirror, I think it is mainly in the chin and neck area.

I guess I should listen to my wife and stay at higher weight where I "look better', but with a beach trip coming up in a month, I was really looking forward to walking the beach with nice abs. It really sucks to have finally reached my goals and find out that I can't really be at my goal without looking like I'm "too skinny", I guess in large part because at 41 I'm just too old to pull it off.

Anyways, thanks for listening to my rant, just feel a little defeated and don't know what to do. I wish I had done this 10 years ago...

Replies

  • Amy911Gray
    Amy911Gray Posts: 685 Member
    It's okay--someone told me today at work that I shouldn't lose anymore weight...that I would look like a breakable object..but I just carry weight better than most people...at 151 I look 130, so it stands to reason that at 130 I would look 110. And I'm going to be okay with that...and on the trend I'm on, I'm looking at my 48th birthday!

    Best of luck to you!
  • KyleB65
    KyleB65 Posts: 1,196 Member
    I am 47 and I have lost almost 90 lbs over the past year.

    I have been married for 22 years this coming Nov. and my wife has never seen me this fit.

    Although she is happy that I have improved my health. She is not entirely happy with my new physique.

    Like you I am trying to find a balance in life. My needs, wants & goals vs my wife's.

    It is a constant struggle. Lucky for me, my wife is very supportive!

    Best of luck on your journey!
  • 6heatherb6
    6heatherb6 Posts: 469 Member
    You're NOT to old to pull anything off!! :noway:

    It is discouraging when love ones say things like you're too skinny! :grumble:

    I had this earlier in the year when I got to my goal of 54kg and then went down another 2kg before an overseas trip (lol...just so I could eat it back!!) I was so HAPPY at 52kg ...finally got new clothes etc and felt on top of the world! Then came the comments from my parents and sister that I was too skinny for 'someone MY age":sad: :sad:

    I'm back up to 57.9kg and if I'm honest my 'face' probably does look better but definately NOT my waist!! I'm determine to get back down at least to 54! :drinker:

    I'd say in regards to waist loss...PLEASE YOURSELF!!! That's what I'm going to do from now on....:wink:

    Anyhow.... go you for having 'abs'....wish my hubby did!!

    All the best

    :flowerforyou:
  • gazz777au
    gazz777au Posts: 157 Member
    MAAAAAN you look great. Don't listen to the negativity (some of it is from within - I know this with myself!).

    My mid-section still has the spare tire look but I understand with strength training I can kick it eventually... Even if not, the rest of my life should be longer, healthier and happier.

    I am at the point in my weight loss if I do not do things in balance, I look gaunt. Plenty of veggies and water and I feel and look better and don't gain.

    Enjoy YOUR life now, you've rocked it !

    Cheers
  • shelbiejo
    shelbiejo Posts: 283 Member
    Do what makes you feel good about yourself. Don't change what you were doing just because of some peoples opinions. Everyone has a different one.
  • Rayman79
    Rayman79 Posts: 2,009 Member
    I completely understand the need for balance and keeping your wife happy.

    If I could offer a suggestion it would be to look at going through a slow bulk. If you added a little more muscle to your frame you could afford to carry a little extra fat and still have a low bf% and some ab definition.
  • Woolooloo
    Woolooloo Posts: 82
    I completely understand the need for balance and keeping your wife happy.

    If I could offer a suggestion it would be to look at going through a slow bulk. If you added a little more muscle to your frame you could afford to carry a little extra fat and still have a low bf% and some ab definition.

    I am actually working towards this. I think I might be something of a hard gainer, although to be honest I've been on a calorie deficit while lifting so that obviously makes it difficult to gain. I'm a little worried that it is the low body fat % that is making my face look more aged, so I'm not sure that adding overall muscle is going to help, and I'm not sure my abs will have definition at a higher percentage. I think it is my best option to try though, so thanks for the tip.
  • Woolooloo
    Woolooloo Posts: 82
    Thank you everyone for the encouragement :)
  • Woolooloo
    Woolooloo Posts: 82
    I completely understand the need for balance and keeping your wife happy.

    If I could offer a suggestion it would be to look at going through a slow bulk. If you added a little more muscle to your frame you could afford to carry a little extra fat and still have a low bf% and some ab definition.

    I didn't completely think this through last night, but now that I have I understand better that by carrying more muscle I could still carry more pounds of fat and still keep the same low body fat %. So hopefully the additional pounds of fat would fill out my face a little more, but the low body fat % would allow me to keep my abs. Sounds like a good long term solution, it will probably take me a good while to put on the muscle, but I need a new goal so there it is!
This discussion has been closed.

Categories