Scared to Eat

HulaHips83
HulaHips83 Posts: 129
edited 2:46AM in Health and Weight Loss
I'm so desperate to lose weight I'm afraid to eat even if I stay within 1200 calories. If I eat so much as half a mini whole grain bagel, I hate myself. When I do eat, it's only because I know I have to and I eat the right kinds of foods. I do need a healthier lifestyle and I do need to drop the weight, but I used to be super skinny with an eating disorder. I do NOT want to go back to that (the eating disorder part...the skinny part I want). It feels like I have trouble not having an unhealthy relationship with food...it just goes from one extreme to the other. It's either my best friend and my drug or my worst enemy that I avoid like the plague. Does anyone have any advice?

Replies

  • mayerel
    mayerel Posts: 254 Member
    Do you have someone you can talk to? A therapist or nutritionist? Sometimes creating a healthy relationship with food is the hardest part, and asking for help can be an amazing tool! It's certainly not easy (how many of us are here?) but it is possible!

    Good job to you for recognizing what's going on and asking for help!
  • now_or_never12
    now_or_never12 Posts: 849 Member
    I would suggest going to see a Doctor. You shouldn't be scared to eat. 1,200 calories a day is very low to begin with.
  • HulaHips83
    HulaHips83 Posts: 129
    Do you have someone you can talk to? A therapist or nutritionist? Sometimes creating a healthy relationship with food is the hardest part, and asking for help can be an amazing tool! It's certainly not easy (how many of us are here?) but it is possible!

    Good job to you for recognizing what's going on and asking for help!

    I started at the Bariatric Clinic so I see the doctor there every time I go. But that actually is fueling these feelings. I feel obligated to make significant progress since they will check my BMI and review my diet every time I go. I really want to be healthy and set a good example for my little girls. I don't want them to have the same problems I've had.
  • kimnsc
    kimnsc Posts: 560 Member
    Do you have someone you can talk to? A therapist or nutritionist? Sometimes creating a healthy relationship with food is the hardest part, and asking for help can be an amazing tool! It's certainly not easy (how many of us are here?) but it is possible!

    Good job to you for recognizing what's going on and asking for help!

    I started at the Bariatric Clinic so I see the doctor there every time I go. But that actually is fueling these feelings. I feel obligated to make significant progress since they will check my BMI and review my diet every time I go. I really want to be healthy and set a good example for my little girls. I don't want them to have the same problems I've had.

    I think you need to see a therapist and/or a nutritionist, not a bariatric doctor.
  • zsaoosh
    zsaoosh Posts: 402 Member
    I think maybe you should become best friends with your doctor and a counselor. That way you know you are staying healthy both physically and mentally/emotionally.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Remember, skinny and healthy are not the same thing.

    Do take care of yourself and try to regain a healthy relationship with food. You may need to speak to a therapist directly to find out where these feelings are coming from and how to deal with them.

    I wish you the best.
  • kk281
    kk281 Posts: 66 Member
    the untied way offers free counseling for woman and their children. having someone to talk to helps.
  • megblair1
    megblair1 Posts: 1,226 Member
    This sounds like an eating disorder. I agree with the comments about seeing a counselor. Good luck!
  • TinaBaily
    TinaBaily Posts: 792 Member
    As a former binge eater, I think the advice to speak with a therapist might be the best way to go. It is a HUGE step in the right direction for you to even recognize where you are starting to head. It's also a big step to realize that heading down that road isn't going to be healthy. I wonder if some of what you are feeling is due to the pressure you mentioned in needing to show the bariatric clinic that you are doing well and making "progress".

    If I were in your shoes a few years ago, just that stress alone would have me off the wagon, so to speak. I had to battle some emotional demons before I could manage to even start losing weight again, let alone think that I could lose it and keep it off. I wish you the best of luck!
  • thelovelyLIZ
    thelovelyLIZ Posts: 1,227 Member
    I would highly recommend speaking to a counselor or therapist to help you overcome these fears. Remember, food is fuel necessary for your body to function, not something that makes you fat.
  • janet0513
    janet0513 Posts: 564 Member
    Definitely look into talking with a therapist for starters. Take the pressure off yourself about losing and make healthy changes and don't focus on the weight loss.

    I had a hard time with food and I think I have finally gotten to a point where we can have a healthy relationship. I set my goal and eat back my exercise calories. I try to make healthy choice, but no food is off limits so I don't feel deprived in anyway. I generally eat beween 1500-2000 calories a day so I feel full and not like I am dieting. If I want extra food or to have a few drinks, I try and do an extra walk. I try to eat within a range of my goal, because honestly it isn't going to be exact anyway. Don't get stuck on the calorie #'s or the scale #'s.

    I go to the gym 2-4x / week for cardio and weights and I walk on the other days. I am losing weight (over 60lbs so far) but most of all I am getting healthy and strong which makes me feel better about myself. Learn to stop beating yourself up, I think sometimes we are our own worst enemies. There is no "failure" unless you quit on yourself. Somedays will be good and others will be bad but each day you start fresh and do your best.

    Lastly, find some friends here. My MFP friends are the best and I can turn to them when I need to and they keep me motivated. Take it at your own speed because this isn't a race. Best of luck.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    As a former binge eater, I think the advice to speak with a therapist might be the best way to go. It is a HUGE step in the right direction for you to even recognize where you are starting to head. It's also a big step to realize that heading down that road isn't going to be healthy. I wonder if some of what you are feeling is due to the pressure you mentioned in needing to show the bariatric clinic that you are doing well and making "progress".

    If I were in your shoes a few years ago, just that stress alone would have me off the wagon, so to speak. I had to battle some emotional demons before I could manage to even start losing weight again, let alone think that I could lose it and keep it off. I wish you the best of luck!

    Happy to hear you are doing better. :flowerforyou:
  • tabik30
    tabik30 Posts: 443
    I have the same problem of being afraid to eat because I want to lose so badly. I always take in 800 or less cals and run of an evening. I have run my system in the ground so bad that I can hardly function. I feel like im walking around in a haze all of the time because im so tired. It's affecting my job ( I am the manager of a bank) and all areas of my life. So needless to say im eating more (ALL HEATHY), even though it's a constant battle for me. Good Luck, i totally feel your pain
  • dirtbikegirl5
    dirtbikegirl5 Posts: 391 Member
    I'm so desperate to lose weight I'm afraid to eat even if I stay within 1200 calories. If I eat so much as half a mini whole grain bagel, I hate myself. When I do eat, it's only because I know I have to and I eat the right kinds of foods. I do need a healthier lifestyle and I do need to drop the weight, but I used to be super skinny with an eating disorder. I do NOT want to go back to that (the eating disorder part...the skinny part I want). It feels like I have trouble not having an unhealthy relationship with food...it just goes from one extreme to the other. It's either my best friend and my drug or my worst enemy that I avoid like the plague. Does anyone have any advice?

    Hi, Luv: My heart goes out to you. The best advice I can give is to stop tracking your calories and see a pyschologist who specializes in eating disorders. Eating disorders are always waiting to take you back. Fight back for you and your girls. You deserve to have a healthy relationship with food.
  • m16shane
    m16shane Posts: 393 Member
    I agree about seeing a Dr.

    Just so you know, not eating is just as bad as pigging out. Its all about fuel for your body. I don't know your stats but I'm guessing that 1200 calories is actually not enough. Find out what you need to lose the healthy way. Than find recipes or foods that you like. Your body needs the fuel to run right! Good luck to you!
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    I think you should definitely see a therapist. Some therapy clinics have costs on a sliding scale, so they'll work out a place to fit into your budget. Maybe do some research to see what you can find in your area. I know you mentioned having daughters earlier, so I think it would be good for you to get better and show them by example how to live a healthy lifestyle. Best of luck! :flowerforyou:
  • OSC_ESD
    OSC_ESD Posts: 752 Member
    ~ Try thinking of food as fuel for your body ... if you want to be healthy, you need to start thinking healthy. I would suggest you try to plan your day ahead of time ... a schedule doesn't work for everybody, but in your case I feel you would benefit immensely. Try to add one ingredient foods to all of your meals ... protein, nuts, seeds, grains, veggies, fruits, greek yogurt, good fats ... etc. Do some research on powerful foods. These choices will not only make you healthier ... but you will become much stronger !

    Are you getting in any form of exercise ??? Exercise is a great way to mentally jump start your mindset into how good it feels to be healthy ! You have lived on both sides of the coin ... now it's time to start living life to the fullest ! Your children should be one of the many reasons to get focused and start making positive changes.

    If you don't think you can make the choices needed to eat healthy and regain your confidence in your body ... seek help, from whatever source your comfortable with. You can lose the weight and have a healthy relationship with food all at once ... it's the greatest feeling in the world !

    Food is not your enemy ... it is your best friend and the only way to make your body healthy again is to embrace that relationship and make the best choices possible !

    I won't tell you this journey will be easy .... But, I will tell you it will be totally worth it !!! C'mon ... get started, get up and get moving ! I want to see your progress ... I know you can do it .... you got this !

    :flowerforyou:
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    I have the same problem of being afraid to eat because I want to lose so badly. I always take in 800 or less cals and run of an evening. I have run my system in the ground so bad that I can hardly function. I feel like im walking around in a haze all of the time because im so tired. It's affecting my job ( I am the manager of a bank) and all areas of my life. So needless to say im eating more (ALL HEATHY), even though it's a constant battle for me. Good Luck, i totally feel your pain

    Good for you, dear! This might be a good example for the OP, too. Try upping your calories with healthy food. Maybe that will make you feel better. Eat a lot of fruits and veggies.
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    When I'm feeling exceptionally emotional and feel a binge coming on, I am afraid to eat. I feel like any food consumption is going to set me off. ED's aren't like other addictions where you can just avoid your drug of choice. We have to keep eating to live- and for me, I can binge on anything. I've had plenty of "healthy food" binges. Keeping trigger foods away doesn't really help when that's not the problem.
  • nill4me
    nill4me Posts: 682 Member
    I'm so desperate to lose weight I'm afraid to eat even if I stay within 1200 calories. If I eat so much as half a mini whole grain bagel, I hate myself. When I do eat, it's only because I know I have to and I eat the right kinds of foods. I do need a healthier lifestyle and I do need to drop the weight, but I used to be super skinny with an eating disorder. I do NOT want to go back to that (the eating disorder part...the skinny part I want). It feels like I have trouble not having an unhealthy relationship with food...it just goes from one extreme to the other. It's either my best friend and my drug or my worst enemy that I avoid like the plague. Does anyone have any advice?

    I see the words "desperate", and "hate", and "afraid"...."unhealthy relationship with food", "super skinny with an eating disorder".

    It seems to me that you actually recognize that you have an issue, and are looking for a little push to go work on it again.

    Heal your relationship with yourelf and with food first....then focus on the rest.

    *push*
    *push*
    *push*
  • alibyouss
    alibyouss Posts: 129
    VERY GOOD POST, COMPLETLY AGREE WITH YOU
    Definitely look into talking with a therapist for starters. Take the pressure off yourself about losing and make healthy changes and don't focus on the weight loss.

    I had a hard time with food and I think I have finally gotten to a point where we can have a healthy relationship. I set my goal and eat back my exercise calories. I try to make healthy choice, but no food is off limits so I don't feel deprived in anyway. I generally eat beween 1500-2000 calories a day so I feel full and not like I am dieting. If I want extra food or to have a few drinks, I try and do an extra walk. I try to eat within a range of my goal, because honestly it isn't going to be exact anyway. Don't get stuck on the calorie #'s or the scale #'s.

    I go to the gym 2-4x / week for cardio and weights and I walk on the other days. I am losing weight (over 60lbs so far) but most of all I am getting healthy and strong which makes me feel better about myself. Learn to stop beating yourself up, I think sometimes we are our own worst enemies. There is no "failure" unless you quit on yourself. Somedays will be good and others will be bad but each day you start fresh and do your best.

    Lastly, find some friends here. My MFP friends are the best and I can turn to them when I need to and they keep me motivated. Take it at your own speed because this isn't a race. Best of luck.
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