Rough times...

dangerkitty2001
dangerkitty2001 Posts: 44
edited September 20 in Motivation and Support
I'm at a very frustrated point where I don't know what to do. I started over with MFP again in August, serious this time because I was running out of options. I knew I had really let myself go, and my boyfriend finally broke down and admitted that he was not sexually attracted to me anymore. That broke my heart, but he was right, I was out of control, and that was the kick in the butt I needed. (I have to add that I know he loves me very much - today is actually our second anniversary together and I can't imagine my life without him!) I'm very proud of the 20 pounds I have lost. But the last couple of weeks have been hard, I have had the flu and been swamped with school work, and 3 pounds crept back in. It has felt like an awful blow and I've been angry and crying all day. As selfish as it may be, I feel cheated, cheated out of a sex life with the person I love, and cheated out of my enjoyment of food, because I stress over every calorie I consume. So I'm pissed off and sad and frustrated and full of hate. I didn't know what else to do to try to get this off my chest, so I thought I'd try here and see if it helps me feel better.
Forgive me if I sound whiny, but my brain just can't take much more of this!!

Replies

  • pkgirrl
    pkgirrl Posts: 587
    Aww, hunny, don't beat yourself up. Just think of the 20lbs you lost, and remember, you've already taken those 3lbs of once, you can do it again! And then some, if your so inclined :)

    Try not to stress so much over food, I used to be pretty obsessive, so I completely understand if that's just not an option right now, but try to just let the calculator on myfitnesspal worry about that. Eat what it tells you to eat, because you need food to survive, and lose weight! And if you go over, hit the gym :)

    Try to think about the positives, when you need motivation, picture yourself with the hot body you want, and remember that your on your way there.

    I totally understand, I actually decided to lose for my boyfriend too, but now I do it for me.

    You can do it, and you can message me anytime you'd like someone to talk to :flowerforyou:
  • KatWood
    KatWood Posts: 1,135 Member
    I'm sorry you are feeling this way right now. But you know what? It is only a matter of time before you lose the weight. You have already lost 20lbs which means you know you can do this. Take it one day at a time. This is a life long journey, not a race. Stay positive and try to focus on your accomplishments and all the great things that are to come.:flowerforyou:
  • havingitall
    havingitall Posts: 3,728 Member
    Losing weight is difficult, especially when there is a large amount of weight to lose. I know because I am in the same boat.

    You sound like you are really at your wit's end. Is there somebody you can talk to, like a counsellor that would be able to put things in perspective for you? You have been hurt by what your boyfriend said and you sound like you are desperate to get the results. Unfortunately, these results do not come at the speed we want, nor do they come easily.

    I wish you all the best in your journey to a healthier you. This is a long road but a very worthwhile one to go down.
  • 135gratitude
    135gratitude Posts: 364
    I know this can be frustrating - I've felt, many times, that I was slipping backward. Then I just need to snap out of it, and get back on track.

    You will move forward, get right back to logging everything and exercising, and you will keep losing.
    :flowerforyou:
  • Rosebud1956
    Rosebud1956 Posts: 56
    Hang in there and keep doing what you are doing. You have already lost a lot and I am sure you can lose more. I think the word is consistance.:smile:
  • bampitt
    bampitt Posts: 43 Member
    I am so sorry you are feeling this way and I know how frustrating it can be to obsessive over food. But remember, 3 pounds is nothing in the grand scheme of things. It could simply be water weight!

    One of the ways I have combated food obsessions is to look at food as fuel. If I take the emotion out of food, I become less obsessed over it. Food is a tool just like my weights or my resistance bands. I want to use the best tools I can afford so I provide my body with lots of fruits and veggies and good protein. Yes, like everyone else, I indulge my sweet tooth but I find that just a bite will do me just fine without the guilt.

    Katwood stated that this is a life long journey, not a race. That is an extremely good way to look at your transformation.

    Life sometimes gets in the way of my fitness goals too. I work full-time, go to school full-time, have 2 teenagers and 1 infant. 3 months ago I injured my kee and the workouts and diet went out the window. I had to start all over again. With all this, I don't always get my workouts in and sometimes dinner is eating out. But, I keep plugging away at it because I have a goal in mind that I want to reach and I will reach it!!

    Keep at it and keep coming here because everyone will give you the support and advice to help you.
  • akgrant
    akgrant Posts: 293 Member
    I hate to sound horrible in the sea of needed encourgement but if it was me, I would dump the boyfriend. You need support on this lifelong journey not someone telling you he isn't attracted to you because you have put on some extra pounds. He needs to accept you as you are RIGHT NOW before he can partake in the new you! What happens if you decide today that you aren't going to lose the weight?? You are still the same beautiful person on the inside!!

    Lose the weight for you and stay on this site to get the help and support you need. With the right focus, you can do this!!
  • altazin0907
    altazin0907 Posts: 188 Member
    :flowerforyou: Don't be so hard on yourself. We all believe in you and know you can do this!
  • LaurelFisher
    LaurelFisher Posts: 407 Member
    I hate to sound horrible in the sea of needed encourgement but if it was me, I would dump the boyfriend. You need support on this lifelong journey not someone telling you he isn't attracted to you because you have put on some extra pounds. He needs to accept you as you are RIGHT NOW before he can partake in the new you! What happens if you decide today that you aren't going to lose the weight?? You are still the same beautiful person on the inside!!

    Lose the weight for you and stay on this site to get the help and support you need. With the right focus, you can do this!!

    :flowerforyou: I agree, I have been married for 35 years. The sex is good and my husband is as amorous as he was on our honeymoon. :blushing: My husband has always found me attractive no matter what I looked like or how much I weighed. At one point I weighed 221 pounds, at another time I lost some of my hair and looked like hell. Hy husband has loved me through the birth of 4 children, the loss of a child, menopause, dieting, weight gain and dieting again. You need to do this for you because you want to look good and be healthy. :grumble: Don't do it for the love or lust of a man. What does he look like? Suppose he gained weight or lost all his hair or teeth? Would you still want him in your bed? :smokin: You can do this, don't fret over a few pounds, you took it off once you can do it again. The women on MFP will always be here for you even if some guy won't. :brokenheart: Don't let him break your heart or your spirit.
  • akgrant
    akgrant Posts: 293 Member
    Thanks, LAURELFISHER, for the backup. I hated to sound negative but sometimes we need to hear things like this! 35 years of marriage, that's inspiring!!! What a great husband!!!
  • dangerkitty2001
    dangerkitty2001 Posts: 44
    Thank you all for your support and encouragement! I just had a really bad day that day, and I'm feeling better now. It's just nice to know there are others out there who understand and can give that extra boost when needed! I'll keep on workin on it all.... :smile:
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