Anyone else find this odd?
Replies
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The people, the wonderful people, on this board have the same common goal - fitness. Everyone else is out life does not have that goal.
This!0 -
I hear this also. I've always been the family cook and host most of the family gathering.
A lot of the dishes I use to make, I don't make anymore and I get complaints all the time. But they never stop coming over for dinner. To be honest all of the family, except for 2-3 people, can stand to lose a few pounds.
I'm hosting Sunday dinner and I will will be making mock mashed potato and spaghetti using squash instead, if I can find.
Can't wait to see the reactions!0 -
Threads like this make me feel grateful for having having classy friends, family, and coworkers. Not a single person has given me **** for losing weight.0
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I feel people close to us get jealous or have gotten so use to my chubby self that lost weight is a foreign world to them. When people can't except change they can be harsh.
We are all on the same page here and know how important encouragement is. I love the support here and soak it up!0 -
I am extremely lucky to have encouraging family, friends and co-workers. MFPeeps are just the cherry on top
I like cherries! 0 -
"your on edge lately, you need to get laid"
Next time they say that, get a worried look on your face and say "That's not an offer, is it?"0 -
"your on edge lately, you need to get laid"
Next time they say that, get a worried look on your face and say "That's not an offer, is it?"
I hope it wasn't a relative that said that. It could get awkward.0 -
Not only do I find it strange but at the same time very sad. Because those who are supposed to be the ones who should support you are the ones who are doing it against you. This applies not only in fitness but also in other areas of life. I don't have any friends in person & those that I consider my true friends are the ones that I met on facebook, mfp & we chat. So sad but sometimes we encounter our mutual partners or friends in not so expected places like the internet.
Oh & my family is no exception to this either =(0 -
My best friend says this to me all the time. She just told me yesterday I was "too skinny" on my wedding day(not true I was in the best shape of my life thank you, I ate like a pro football player and was solid muscle). She also inists I look "normal" at 30 pounds overweight these days... I just blow it off but it does get frustrating -especially since she is home crying over her 30 pounds of baby weight right now.0
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I agree. Sometimes my boyfriend is super supportive and other times he gets kind of mad about my food logging and tells me to just eat stuff. But just eating stuff without taking into account its nutritional value is what caused me to gain so much weight in the first place! He also gets frustrated if my workouts don't work out with his schedule, but then again, he also sometimes sets up a whole area for me to workout so that he can use my usual space without conflict. He also cooks my healthier food alternatives for me most of the time, so IDK. He is mostly supportive, but on the days he isn't, logging onto MFP helps.
My grandma also isn't so supportive. Every time I lose weight and get into a healthy weight range she swears I am starving myself and sends me home with all sorts of processed food grossness. lol. I guess that's a grandma thing, though. In a way its kind of cute. If anyone else did it I would probably get angry, but its Gram.
Aside from that, my boyfriend's dad is kind of a **** to me about my being a vegetarian. He is totally beating a dead horse because I have been a vegetarian longer than I have been with my boyfriend. Its not going to change. He has repeatedly tried to argue with me about my choices, has snuck beef stock into potatoes (which I noticed on my first bite and called him out on and he was surprised I was able to taste it and confused as to why it upset me...), constantly tells me that animals are on this earth to eat, constantly waves meat right in my face... etc etc etc... but the rest of my boyfriend's family has been more than accommodating. They make vegetarian versions of everything if they know that I am coming over to eat. No one in the family really likes his dad, though, so I guess he is just a **** in general.0 -
the difference for me was......
Facebook post ---- "i started a new C25K program, starting slow and working my way back to good health and fitness"
Facebook comment --- "that isn't very smart, at your size your just going to get hurt!" (family member)
Facebook comment--- "are you going to stick with it or give up like everything else" (family member)
Facebook comment ---- "well maybe in a several years you will be able keep up me" (family member)
Facebook post --- delete!
Facebook post --- " i need some good music to listen to while running"
Facebook comment
..................................... (crickets)
MFP post ---- "i started a new couch to 5K program, starting slow and working my way back to good health and fitness"
MFP comment --- "awesome good job"
MFP comment --- awesome keep us posted on your good work"
MFP post --- "Day 1 week 1 --- walked most of the way"
MFP comment --- " i had to walk most of the way my first time too!! but keep it up you will do awesome"
MFP comment --"first day was a sucess!! you started the program!"
MFP post ---- " i need some good music to listen to while running"
MFP comment
50 comments with awesome suggestions for beginning runners to experienced, to all out head banging, to 70's, 80's, 90's to techno!!!!!!
MFP people are awesome, honest, helpful, supportive, they build you up when you need it and bring you back down to earth when needed. Don't complain about gaining weight with your diary open because they will tell you why, stop losing and they will tell you why. Disappear off the wall and they will hunt you down and bring you back. Because they get it! It is not easy! I will give up! I will try hard! I will have bad days! I will eat a bag of chips! I will try new foods as suggested! My knees will hurt! And my clothes will get to big!
MFP people just get it!0 -
the difference for me was......
Facebook post ---- "i started a new C25K program, starting slow and working my way back to good health and fitness"
Facebook comment --- "that isn't very smart, at your size your just going to get hurt!" (family member)
Facebook comment--- "are you going to stick with it or give up like everything else" (family member)
Facebook comment ---- "well maybe in a several years you will be able keep up me" (family member)
Facebook post --- delete!
Facebook post --- " i need some good music to listen to while running"
Facebook comment
..................................... (crickets)
MFP post ---- "i started a new couch to 5K program, starting slow and working my way back to good health and fitness"
MFP comment --- "awesome good job"
MFP comment --- awesome keep us posted on your good work"
MFP post --- "Day 1 week 1 --- walked most of the way"
MFP comment --- " i had to walk most of the way my first time too!! but keep it up you will do awesome"
MFP comment --"first day was a sucess!! you started the program!"
MFP post ---- " i need some good music to listen to while running"
MFP comment
50 comments with awesome suggestions for beginning runners to experienced, to all out head banging, to 70's, 80's, 90's to techno!!!!!!
MFP people are awesome, honest, helpful, supportive, they build you up when you need it and bring you back down to earth when needed. Don't complain about gaining weight with your diary open because they will tell you why, stop losing and they will tell you why. Disappear off the wall and they will hunt you down and bring you back. Because they get it! It is not easy! I will give up! I will try hard! I will have bad days! I will eat a bag of chips! I will try new foods as suggested! My knees will hurt! And my clothes will get to big!
MFP people just get it!
Wow, its really sad that your family had those responses, but I am so happy you found this community and that you are able to get the support that everyone needs AND deserves. 0 -
I agree, I have just starting reading the message boards and it has greatly helped me because I respond to people who are going through the same thing I am and understand. Some of the questions that get asked or ones I want to and love to read the responses. MFP is the best thing that I have found that has helped me to change my lifestyle and really lose weight and feel great!0
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Completely agree. I have to visit MFP every day to get the motivation I need.. most of the people around me are too busy trying to tempt me with food because they're upset that I'm actually DOING something about my obesity.
that's how I feel .. "you know you want it", or "oh come on 1 bite won't kill you"
some times I turn down food, simply b/c I have no desire for it (some sweets and anything bagel)
I come on here and have a few friends, who support me all the way (good and bad, not just diet wise, but emotional crap too)
I wuv my MFP friends :flowerforyou: :smooched:0 -
This is a great thread. I am a "closet MFPer"
I haven't told any friends or family that I am using it because I'd rather not hear the comments.
My husband is for the most part supportive of me working out and eating healthier, but I do get some annoying comments from time to time. For example, I subscribe to magazines like Oxygen, Fitness Rx, and Muscle and Fitness Hers, because I find them motivating and informative. However, the covers always have a muscular woman on them (which I think is awesome - not like the models on Shape or Health magazines), and my husband will look at the cover and say "That's not what you want to look like, is it?". The truth is I would love to look like that. I know it's not realistic because I don't have that much time to devote to the gym, but those fitness models sure keep me motivated!0 -
some poeple on here arent exactly nice either.
This is true sometimes though. This site is meant for support...0 -
Completely agree. I have to visit MFP every day to get the motivation I need.. most of the people around me are too busy trying to tempt me with food because they're upset that I'm actually DOING something about my obesity.
Amen. I get done telling a friend that I have lost 7.5 pounds and am determined to keep going - she offers me a Coke and a bag of Famous Amos cookies.
*facepalm*0 -
After reading some of your posts, does anyone else find it odd that complete strangers, on an internet message board, provide MORE encouragement, support and motivation to you... MORE than the people, friends, family, coworkers, etc. that you've known in real life for years, or maybe even your whole life?
"You're getting too skinny"
"Eat more"
"You need to gain some weight"
"Stop losing weight"
"You'll get sick" - lol @ this one, like obesity isn't a sickness and is completely normal. Obesity is so common that it's becoming "normal" to most people now.
Or just generally giving you grief about your nutrition plan, exercising, being picky and conscious about your body, etc.
Humans can be a funny species sometimes. What's up with that?
At this point, I get lots of support from friends and family. However, I'm sure that once I get under the 150lbs mark, the negative comments will begin. My goal is 135-140lbs. I'm 5'4", so that translates to about a size 7/8 (MAYBE a 5/6 if I can get my bodyfat % low enough).0 -
In my own life, the people around me are sitting in the same sick spot that we all were in for years, and they really don't appreciate the fact that I am going out of the box to find something better without them. They WANT to do it, and yet they just sit there and do nothing but judge me.
That is why I come here. The support and motivation can't be beat!
Good luck, and don't let the bastids getcha down!!!!
I agree, noone understands how daunting it can be to track your food EVERY day and to expose it to the internet.
You have to be "IN IT" to appreciate the journey.0 -
Completely! I've even lost a good friend over how I'm losing weight and choosing to be healthier and her "not being bothered". I guess when we are all doing the same thing and having the same goals we can be more encouraging to one another.0
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Man, can I relate to that. Lots of the people who I'm closest to have started calling me "obsessed". I go to the gym for one hour a day, which is the minimum recommended daily cardio amount, and I watch what I eat. And I'm obsessed. Heaven forbid I turn town some kind of fattening food or a 3rd beer when everyone else is indulging. "What's wrong with you?" "Geez, live a little! Stop being so hard on yourself! It's just food!" And then I want to say "Exactly. It's just food And I don't want it, so leave me alone."
MFP is where I find my support. Mostly everyone in my "real life" is tired of me "obsessing" about my weight.0 -
Oh my gosh, I SO thought I was the only one who felt like this! Thanks for posting this. Now I can see that I'm not alone. My family likes to go out to eat a lot and if they're not eating out, they cook things like burgers or barbque chicken or just generally unhealthy meals and they make me feel bad for not wanting to go out or eat what they're eating. Then they tell me that I need to lose weight?!? Then when I do they harass me about HOW I am losing it... that I'm not eating enough (1200 calories)!!
It just seems kind of sad that complete strangers are the ones who ultimately support us more... and what I find even more ironic about that (for me anyways), is that BEFORE, I always felt like it was the STRANGERS who were judging me and my FAMILY who supported me. Anyone else?0 -
And then I want to say "Exactly. It's just food And I don't want it, so leave me alone."
THIS! I love this! I might end up having to steal this defense from you. It's crazy how people will try to guilt you into eating more food/drinks!0 -
I agree with you. Although my family isn't as supportive as people here on MFP and that can be frustrating, I try not to let it get to me too much. I think my change in lifestyle intimidates them. After all, when you see someone eating healthier than you everyday it's going to make you exam your own eating habits and compare, right? It think my family has some negative feelings because it's making them uncomfortable, so I don't push for support to much. I have friends on here that encourage me, and maybe I can cause a positive change in them with time.0
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Completely agree. I have to visit MFP every day to get the motivation I need.. most of the people around me are too busy trying to tempt me with food because they're upset that I'm actually DOING something about my obesity.
Amen. I get done telling a friend that I have lost 7.5 pounds and am determined to keep going - she offers me a Coke and a bag of Famous Amos cookies.
*facepalm*
You should have clunked her on the head with the bag of cookies...lol!!! With friends like that who needs enemies.... :huh:0 -
Actually I've gotten encouragement from here, my wonderful MFP and my friends & family 0
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And then I want to say "Exactly. It's just food And I don't want it, so leave me alone."
THIS! I love this! I might end up having to steal this defense from you. It's crazy how people will try to guilt you into eating more food/drinks!
Feel free to steal it! I don't know what else to say to them! I mean seriously, why do people make it such a big deal?!0 -
It just goes to show that some of us are surrounded by enablers and haters!!! Usually family members are the enablers...you know the ones who have a weight issue themselves or they have an emotional need to keep you stuck in the same old patterns. The friends tend to be the haters... they also may have a weight issue or sometimes they just enjoy feeling superior to you because you're the "fat friend". Whats worse is when the person is both an enabler and a hater...because they will intentionally discourage you for their own fulfillment.
So be thankfull if you have support...and if you don't find it here!!!0 -
:devil: Beware the food pimps!!0
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I think A LOT of it boils down to jealousy. You're looking more fit and healthy because you've changed your lifestyle. Your friends and family also want to look and feel better but may not yet be willing to do what it takes. So rather than buckle down themselves, they try to knock you off the wagon. (Lots of metaphors there, I know!) Everyone here is working hard toward shared goals. We all want to see each other do well because that tells us this works. I also LOVE all the recipe and exercise tips people here provide. I can't get enough new ideas! I talk about this site to my friends and family all the time, but I don't know if any have tried it out yet. I am loving it!0
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