Emotional Eating NSV

I am an emotional eater. And even with all the weight I’ve lost, I’m still not good at separating food from emotions.

Lately when I get emotional, I still binge but it’s on lesser amounts and healthier options (helps that I don’t really have junk food handy anymore). So I figured I was making strides in my emotional eating. But today was a big leap forward for me.

Right before lunch I was hit with some family drama and had to leave work (and cancel my lunch time walk date). After an hour of stress, panic, and anger, I headed back to work. As relieved as I was to have the issue resolved, I was left with one feeling… the urge to eat. My thoughts were on fast food and/or ice cream.

On the drive back to work I had to pass a Burger King, Wendy’s, McDonald’s, KFC, A&W, Dairy Queen, and Taco John’s. As tempted as I was to pull into a drive thru of one these places, I kept reminding myself that eating was not going to erase my emotions. It would not make me feel better. And it would mess up my eating plan for the day (which I had carefully worked out this morning since I know I’m going out to dinner tonight).

So, with white knuckles on the steering wheel, I drove back to work. I then had to face the smell of pizza from our building’s cafeteria. I sat at my desk and realized that if I tried to eat my lunch at that moment, I would devour my lunch and want to continue eating. I grabbed a bottle of water and walked to a co-worker’s office, vented to her about my family drama, and returned my own office calmer and more clear-headed. I gave myself another 5 to 10 minutes to calm down, and then ate my lunch I brought with me. The only thing I ate that I had not planned for the day was a 100 calorie bag of Cheez-Its.

For me, this is a huge victory. I have been working on my weight loss and maintenance for over 8 years and this is the first time I can remember NOT giving into the urge to eat because of my emotions.

I can only hope that I will remember this feeling the next time I am fighting with my emotions. Because at this moment I have feel like I have the power over food and not the other way around.