giving up seems much easier....???

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I have been working on losing weight for a year , I got started by joining a small group of people lost 20lbs in 10 weeks once the class was over I found that I started to slack ..... Soon March was here and my wedding was around the corner so I kept saying after the wedding ill get back on track , well then came honeymoon and I said the same thing .... Now my weight is creeping back on me ... And yet I still say tomorrow , tomorrow , tomorrow ....... Why don't I care enough for myself to do this?? Why is it easier to just give up ? With work and two kids and my husband being on third how can I fit anything in ? How do I make that first step how to I get motivated and stay motivated? I'm so sick of me and my empty promises ..... What should I do .... What can I do??? How do I let go of excuses????
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Replies

  • leahartmann
    leahartmann Posts: 415
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    I would like to kick your butt to get you into gear (:laugh: ) butt no one can make the changes but you!

    Is your husband supporting you in wanting to lose weight? Maybe he could take the kids an hour or two a couple of times a week? Then you will have some time for yourself to do some work out. If that´s not possible, find a appealing work out dvd, so that you can work out at home. A friend of mine work out together with her children. They think it´s so much fun, like playing with her. Once you get started, it´s makes you addicted. Sometimes it´s so hard to get going, but you will feel sooo much better and have a lot more energy. You will feel good about yourself for going.

    And when it comes to food... Make the changes nice and easy. You don´t have to change your entire life all at once, if it seems impossible. Start by getting rid of the soda and sweets (it´s not good for your children either. If not for you, then do it for them). Drink some water. Then later maybe eat a fruit with your breakfast, maybe som vegetables with your lunch (like a carrot, for instance.) Small changes can have a great impact- and you´re going! Start in one place and work your way to the changes.

    You have children and you have to teach them some good habbits! They will watch you and follow your example as they grow up. You will feel much better and confidence is sexy. :wink:
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    it sure is easier isn't it? but remember that anything worth having is worth working for :wink:

    when i want to give up i just think about WHY i'm doing it. i also think about all the things i want to do and wear once i'm at goal weight. i think of challenges in the past that i have blown past. then i pick myself up and get back into it
  • EvilMomma
    EvilMomma Posts: 70 Member
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    Get honest with yourself. If you don't want to do the work, stop. If you want to do the work, log in everything you eat, get off your duff and get that body moving, and you'll see the scale inch its way downward. Won't be fast but it will come off eventually. Read about women and men who have hundreds of pounds to lose; if they can do it so can you.
  • leahartmann
    leahartmann Posts: 415
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    About work out- half an hour is better than nothing....
  • ImKindOfABigDeal40
    ImKindOfABigDeal40 Posts: 807 Member
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    There is no simple, quick easy answer here. It just doesn't sound like you've made fitness a priority in life. You will never succeed until you realize that it is a commitment. Just like being in a committed relationship. Unless you take it seriously, it is never going to work.
  • ishtar13
    ishtar13 Posts: 528 Member
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    Of course giving up is easier; anything worthwhile is worth working for.

    But, I'll be honest and say, I was not able to focus on this until my daughter was in high school and working and I was done with school.

    When she was younger, and I was both working and trying to go to school, it was nearly impossible. Maybe I could have done it, but I didn't have the mental energy for it.
  • sarah3333
    sarah3333 Posts: 222 Member
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    I always try to remind myself that being overweight is just as hard as trying to lose or maintain weight. You can do it!
  • AmyBetty
    AmyBetty Posts: 18
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    You are not alone in feeling like this. I have been procrastinating so much lately about my diet, exercise, study. There are always excuses as to why you can't do it today - I'll start tomorrow. Or if it's the weekend - there is no point in starting today, I'll wait until monday!
    My biggest advice is to make a photo/goal board and put it in a place you will see every day like on your fridge or wardrobe. Put pictures and words on one side showing what you DONT want - an old pic of yourself before weight loss, words like "can't, lazy, tomorrow etc". On the other side, find pictures of what you are aiming towards. Put words like "CAN, healthy, free etc". You need to get into the right headspace before you can expect to get long term positive results. Forget about the scales for the moment. Think about making yourself feel FANTASTIC and everything will come easier from there. GOOD LUCK! You CAN do it!!!
  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,261 Member
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    Get honest with yourself. If you don't want to do the work, stop. If you want to do the work, log in everything you eat, get off your duff and get that body moving, and you'll see the scale inch its way downward. Won't be fast but it will come off eventually. Read about women and men who have hundreds of pounds to lose; if they can do it so can you.

    It's true. Do you want it not? I finally came to the conclusion if I'm not happy about it, and don't wanna work for it, I better not be complaining either.
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    everything I do fitness/exercise wise I love and enjoy. I don't look at it as working out. I get sad when life gets busy and I miss a day. find something you like to do and it'll become 2nd nature.
  • LooseWheel
    LooseWheel Posts: 211 Member
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    You need to be able to see your goals. Here on MFP you can sort of feel like you have to be accountable for foods and excercise by having to enter it. Not mandatory but it is a motivator.

    A visual goal poster. They work great. Get a piece of cardboard poster size. Cut out pictures of all motivational things that you are aiming for. This can be not only fitness but money, a car, holiday, study achievement, work. Get pictures of your fav car and put it up, get pics of your fav holiday destination and also get pics of yourself. Ones you really like the most, at a time when you were closer to your goals, if you have some from when you were younger, it can still be a good motivator to see yourself at a size you were happy with. Get pictures of fit women who's figures you admire and can aspire to. There's a lot of fitness guru's out there that aren't overly bulked up but are really nicely toned. I have a pic of someones legs and backside, nice for hubby to look at too lol, I dont mind as thats my motivation pic.

    Seeing your goals and what you are working for is a great motivator. Being a Mum means being busy. I do find it hard to set aside 30 mins for fitness routine because when I actually get 30 mins its to rest right! It happens being so busy all the time. I do my kitchen exercises. No excuses allowed. i'm in the kitchen every night, I love cooking, its my 'thing' and doing some regular exercises in there helps. My bench push ups are a great starter. 3 types, hands close together, hands shoulder width apart and hands out wider. Start with 5 of each. Stand about a metre away from the bench top. Put your hands on the edge and keeping your body stiff, lean towards the bench just as if you were doing a push up on the floor. Get up to 10 of each, then 15, just keep increasing every few days and the work on your upper body/arm area is done while making dinner!

    Lunges during ads watching tv are a quick one as well. Alternate feet you step out first with, step together and do 3 squats, then step out with the other foot. Turn around and do two lunges back with 3 squats at each stop. Done in the 30 seconds of ads and done several times during a show. I've started doing them with a weighted medicine ball and it ups the anti for sure. Got sore the first day. The ball stays in the lounge room near the tv cabinet. Its my visual reminder!

    Hope you can find the little things easy to do. Putting a note up in the kitchen to remind you, works well also. Best of luck, this is an ongoing journey and you will find the downer times challenging but the only way to go now is up. Up the anti, up the motivation and up the movement chicky babe. You deserve this time for yourself hey. cheers :)
  • Helloitsdan
    Helloitsdan Posts: 5,565 Member
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    I have been working on losing weight for a year , I got started by joining a small group of people lost 20lbs in 10 weeks once the class was over I found that I started to slack ..... Soon March was here and my wedding was around the corner so I kept saying after the wedding ill get back on track , well then came honeymoon and I said the same thing .... Now my weight is creeping back on me ... And yet I still say tomorrow , tomorrow , tomorrow ....... Why don't I care enough for myself to do this?? Why is it easier to just give up ? With work and two kids and my husband being on third how can I fit anything in ? How do I make that first step how to I get motivated and stay motivated? I'm so sick of me and my empty promises ..... What should I do .... What can I do??? How do I let go of excuses????

    Plan ahead.
    Make time for yourself even if it means getting up an hour earlier to workout 3x a week.
    Make YOUR food the night before and log it.
    If the zombie apocalypse were to happen tomorrow and your husband and kids were to be overrun....would you give up or keep trudging?

    Make time for yourself and plan ahead for the next day.

    PS: Eat right!
    Height and weight play a bigger role than just trying to lose 2lb a week.
    hit up Fat to Fit and do the BMR calculator to see what I mean.
    Hugs!
  • juicemoogan
    juicemoogan Posts: 999 Member
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    if getting fit and healthy was easy.. everyone would do it..

    Things that are worthwhile are never easy.. but always worth it..


    you have to find your internal motivator.. you have to just finally be so fed up with not being healthy that you aren't willing to spend another day the way you are without change.

    Sounds like you did well in a group class, i would recommend joining another one to kickstart you back into it
  • tnrunningnurse
    tnrunningnurse Posts: 549 Member
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    Maybe you are trying to change to much all at once. For me I changed things one at a time so I didn't feel overwhelmed. My journey into health and fitness started 16 years ago when I quit smoking. For 6 months that was all I was concerned with, I gained weight of course. So then I had to decide how to lose the weight. The first think I did was to buy a treadmill and I walked 3 to 4 days a week for about a month, then I started making changes in my diet, but just one or two things at a time so I didn't feel overwhelmed. I would suggest you set a long term goal for weight loss, then break that down into smaller goals. Then make a list of what you need to change in order to meet that goal, and then pick one or two things on that list to do, after a couple of weeks add something else. How old are your kids, can they be incorparated into some kind of excercise? Playing tag, riding bikes, walking with you????? If you really want to lose weight you have to put in some effort. Feel free to add me as a friend.
  • Meg_78
    Meg_78 Posts: 998 Member
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    You just have to stop making excuses and do it, just do something every day, at least 4-6 days a week, it doesn't have to be for hours and hours, do 30DS or something from home, then you don't even have to leave the house and its free on youtube, its 30min a day...no more excuses, just do it.

    No one said this was easy, and results do not come fast, but persistence is the key.
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
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    Get up at 6am tomorrow. Workout before you kids and husband wake up. Videos are great for this. Then you'll feel energetic, motivated and accomplished first thing in the morning. This will help with motivation to eat well all day. Repeat the next day.
  • TheArmadillo
    TheArmadillo Posts: 299 Member
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    I agree with the one step at a time.

    I failed so many times because of trying to go from crap to perfect in one fail swoop.

    So this time I did it step by step - today one small change, and when I could cope with that easily then another. The changes sometimes were fast, sometimes slow. But I haven't gone back and I don't plan to.

    They can be as small as you like but every one is a step forward instead of staying where you are.
  • hothodgie
    hothodgie Posts: 258 Member
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    It is MUCH easier and VERY effortless to give up. It is a hard, hard journey to go on. But is it worth being unhappy? That is what you need to ask yourself. Are you happy? If not, find a way to fix it. If you are, then yes, give up. You have to want to do the work. Nobody can or has a right to make you do it. It's just you. A lot of things in life are easy, but that doesn't mean they are good for us. Marriage is hard work. Raising kids is hard work. Losing weight is right up there. It's an uphill battle it is SOOO worth the fight!
  • Tat2dDom624
    Tat2dDom624 Posts: 1,226 Member
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    Does your husband know that you're feeling like this, or are you just venting here? If he knows, then he should encourage you, and motivate you, so that you DON'T quit and give up. I do that for my wife though. We both know that we have to push each other in order to stay healthy and not veer off. When we're scheduled to get up in the mornings to exercise before work (i get up before she does, and do my workout), i make sure she's up, i have the treadmill ready for her, and have her water sitting in the cup holder on the treadmill. I'm not saying your husband should follow exactly what i do, but words of encouragement and motivation can go a long way, so that you don't quit on yourself, and also to not quit on your family. The one question i ask myself is, "how bad do i want to be healthy for myself and my family'? I wish you luck in finding that motivation, because i know myself that i've felt the same way you're feeling, and thought about just not caring about my health like alot of other people i know.
  • arathena720
    arathena720 Posts: 449 Member
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    Sometimes just finding something different is all you need. Maybe take a cruise through the fitness video aisle and pick up something you haven't seen before. Even better, try something from netflix or rent it. Take a tour of the vegetable and fruit aisle and pick out something you've never tried before. Go to your favorite clothing store and buy a new pretty outfit to exercise in. I found myself wanting to give up after I had gotten sick of running, but by allowing myself to change what I do for fitness I found I got a renewed interest in doing it. It sounds like you did an amazing job losing weight before, but, knowing how tough it was the first time around, it's hard to face again. Try to mix it up a bit, make it fun, do something different. Billy Banks is a hoot to watch on video (nice eye candy, too!) if you'd like a recommendation. Good luck!