I was just wondering ... losing weight for others ?

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newfitTasha
newfitTasha Posts: 56 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
Does anyone think it's right or healthy to use a person as motivation to lose weight ? Is it okay to want to slim down for a guy/girl? Whether they're your spouse/gf/bf or a just someone you wish you could have. I'm obviously not talking about getting "healthy" , I 'm talking strictly appearances. People are always quick to say things like "oh well he/she should accept you for who you are, flaws and all, blah blah". I just wanted to get opinions of others. :)

I think it's perfectly fine, by the way, as long as you don't become obsessive.
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Replies

  • Generalle
    Generalle Posts: 201 Member
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    I have lost weight to compete for a pair of jeans my sister and I were fighting over once............that doesn't really count though does it?
    I won btw
  • freerangehuman
    freerangehuman Posts: 19 Member
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    I use people as motivation. My kids. I want to be healthy for them. :bigsmile:
  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
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    Yes - I want to lose weight for my hubby. He is wonderful and he loves me at whatever size I am but he is so good to me, he deserves a hot wife.
  • wyze
    wyze Posts: 248
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    I personally wont do it for anyone else because if your doing it to gain the person's acceptance, and you dont get it when you are done, you might get disappointed and maybe go back to your unhealthy ways or even develop a low self esteem. I think people should learn to find happiness and contentment in themselves before reaching out to others.

    That being said, i think it is okay to use others, situations or setbacks to motivate yourself to become a better person. To be clear, these things might be the reasons you embark on your journey, but the focus should be on you, it should be about you getting better or healthier for you and not them. By becoming a healthier person in all facets of your life, you have more to offer and you can make not just your self happy, but those around you too.
  • Jozie_
    Jozie_ Posts: 61 Member
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    I have a tendency to do this, or similar don't want to go into details. BUT the downside is that if you're doing it for someone else then it makes it too easy to fall off the wagon.

    Like I'll be really motivated for weeks leading up to a catch up with girlfriends in my home town (becasue I'm super competitive and have to look my best!) but then when I get back I'll majorly fall off the wagon!

    Having said that I think its great when people want to look good for their partner/spouse within reason, as long as the effort is reciprocated!
  • Natashaa1991
    Natashaa1991 Posts: 866 Member
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    whatever works for you. the point is, motivation is most important. :)
    whatever i do i always do it for myself, i lose weight for myself, too. everybody's telling me i shouldn't lose anymore but until i'm completely satisfied i'm not going to stop (no ED lol) :)
  • Jozie_
    Jozie_ Posts: 61 Member
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    Yes - I want to lose weight for my hubby. He is wonderful and he loves me at whatever size I am but he is so good to me, he deserves a hot wife.

    This is what I was meaning ^^^ I think this is really sweet
  • newfitTasha
    newfitTasha Posts: 56 Member
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    I have lost weight to compete for a pair of jeans my sister and I were fighting over once............that doesn't really count though does it?
    I won btw


    hahaha, that's a first, fighting over jeans, congrats to your victory though :)
  • JayChaGrammi
    JayChaGrammi Posts: 6
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    I think that if that is the only reason you are trying to lose weight, you may be walking on a slippery slope....I am certainly not one to talk about weight gain or loss; I probably have gained and lost another whole person 20 pounds at a time! Just be careful, sometimes people become someone they are not and find out that the reason they changed is not there after the change either. Love yourself and strive to be the person you want to be, not the person you think someone else wants you to be. Confidence and Happiness (true happiness) sends a very loud message to those around you.:love:
  • newfitTasha
    newfitTasha Posts: 56 Member
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    has anyone ever succeeded in winning a guy/girl over after losing lbs?
  • small_ninja
    small_ninja Posts: 365 Member
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    I reckon when you think about it, most of the people losing weight for appearances are really losing the weight for other people (i.e. to appease society). As for me, I'm losing weight to feel better about myself because society's telling me I should look good in a bikini, and because I want to look good for my boyfriend when I see him for the first time in a year this Christmas :smile:

    EDIT: just emphasising that I said people losing weight for 'appearances', not 'health'; I think there's a difference when your weight is actively affecting your health and you're doing something to change that.
  • Spanaval
    Spanaval Posts: 1,200 Member
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    Losing weight just so some guy would notice you - shaky ground, IMO. Do you really want to be with someone who wouldn't give you the time of day simply because of your external appearances? 'cause that changes over time, and then what?
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    it's their bodies. who am i to say what's right or wrong for their bodies.

    i have enough on my hands being the boss of me and not enough time or inclination to try and be the boss of someone else
  • iKapuniai
    iKapuniai Posts: 594 Member
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    Yes - I want to lose weight for my hubby. He is wonderful and he loves me at whatever size I am but he is so good to me, he deserves a hot wife.

    This, exactly. My hubby fell in love with me while I was fat, still loves me now that I'm fatter, but DESERVES so much better.
  • jikkenkekka
    jikkenkekka Posts: 61
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    I wouldn't personally use someone else as my motivation for losing weight, especially not as (one of) my main motivator(s). It's sort of been something on my mind a bit in the past (previous weight loss attempts), but now I really want to do this for me--so I feel good about myself and so that I can go out and do things that my current weight and fitness level do not allow (sky diving, bungee jumping, long strenuous hikes, things of that nature). In the past when my reasons for losing weight had not been focused on *me* -- my health and crossing things off my bucket list and such, I always gave up after maybe a month at most. This time feels different; I feel much stronger in my dedication to lose this weight and I think had I not adjusted my view on why I want to get fit I would have once again given up by now.

    Having said all that, just because it's not something I would use to keep at it nowadays doesn't mean that it wouldn't be the right motivational boost for someone else. We all have different driving forces behind our goals and I think that's just dandy. :)
  • newfitTasha
    newfitTasha Posts: 56 Member
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    Yes - I want to lose weight for my hubby. He is wonderful and he loves me at whatever size I am but he is so good to me, he deserves a hot wife.

    This, exactly. My hubby fell in love with me while I was fat, still loves me now that I'm fatter, but DESERVES so much better.

    awww , love that ^
  • dorothymiriam
    dorothymiriam Posts: 14
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    I lost 33 pounds when I was 19 because my boss required it (that probably wasn't legal). I starved myself with 500-600 calories per day and trained like a triathlete every day (I have since learned that they call that "exercise bulimia!")

    Gained it back and then some.

    I lost 68 pounds in my mid-twenties doing a nationally marketed weight-loss program and more exercise bulimia because my first husband didn't like me at a size 12--( I met him right after that first weight loss when I hovered between a size 8 and a size 10).

    Gained it all back and then some, as our marriage fell apart, and he was seeing someone else.

    I remarried and got pregnant, miscarried, then got pregnant right away again and never lost the baby weight until I started working some really physical jobs (I lost 20 pounds because I sweat a ton, couldn't eat and couldn't sleep.) My current husband loves fat chicks, so he has sabotaged any attempts I've made to diet (and I let him, because I wanted the excuse to pig out)--right up until a few months ago when I found out my blood pressure was really high and I had become what is now referred to as pre-diabetic. BUT--during that time, he taught me lots about loving myself, and assured me that no matter how I looked, he would always adore me, because I was. . .well. . . ME! (cool, huh?)

    So, this time, I am losing weight for me; for my health, for my longevity and for my peace of mind. I still have to run the gauntlet of several foods in the house that I cannot eat, and I have to force myself to exercise, but I am plenty stubborn enough to succeed. As they say in 12-step addiction meetings a lot--it takes what it takes to get you to where you need to be, and we'll love you until you can love yourself.

    I hope that helps.:heart:
  • StarIsMoving
    StarIsMoving Posts: 437
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    Well, let me start by saying that I am doing this for me. However, having my husband do double-takes more than he used to (and yes, he did them before, but I seem to catch his eye more now) is wonderful incentive to push harder. That being said... since I have gotten "hotter" in his eyes, he has just recently started getting on the elliptical himself! He says that he has to do something cause it's not right to have me looking so good with him not making an effort. So in turn he is doing it for me, sort of.... but if that's what it took to get him taking an interest in his health - I am for it - though I find him sexy with or without it.. but I want him around longer. Whatever your motivation, just insure that you don't set yourself up for disappointment and ANY motivation is a good thing
  • newfitTasha
    newfitTasha Posts: 56 Member
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    I lost 33 pounds when I was 19 because my boss required it (that probably wasn't legal). I starved myself with 500-600 calories per day and trained like a triathlete every day (I have since learned that they call that "exercise bulimia!")

    Gained it back and then some.

    I lost 68 pounds in my mid-twenties doing a nationally marketed weight-loss program and more exercise bulimia because my first husband didn't like me at a size 12--( I met him right after that first weight loss when I hovered between a size 8 and a size 10).

    Gained it all back and then some, as our marriage fell apart, and he was seeing someone else.

    I remarried and got pregnant, miscarried, then got pregnant right away again and never lost the baby weight until I started working some really physical jobs (I lost 20 pounds because I sweat a ton, couldn't eat and couldn't sleep.) My current husband loves fat chicks, so he has sabotaged any attempts I've made to diet (and I let him, because I wanted the excuse to pig out)--right up until a few months ago when I found out my blood pressure was really high and I had become what is now referred to as pre-diabetic. BUT--during that time, he taught me lots about loving myself, and assured me that no matter how I looked, he would always adore me, because I was. . .well. . . ME! (cool, huh?)

    So, this time, I am losing weight for me; for my health, for my longevity and for my peace of mind. I still have to run the gauntlet of several foods in the house that I cannot eat, and I have to force myself to exercise, but I am plenty stubborn enough to succeed. As they say in 12-step addiction meetings a lot--it takes what it takes to get you to where you need to be, and we'll love you until you can love yourself.

    I hope that helps.:heart:

    so beautiful :heart: , thanks for sharing your story & good luck on your journey :D
  • newfitTasha
    newfitTasha Posts: 56 Member
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    Well, let me start by saying that I am doing this for me. However, having my husband do double-takes more than he used to (and yes, he did them before, but I seem to catch his eye more now) is wonderful incentive to push harder. That being said... since I have gotten "hotter" in his eyes, he has just recently started getting on the elliptical himself! He says that he has to do something cause it's not right to have me looking so good with him not making an effort. So in turn he is doing it for me, sort of.... but if that's what it took to get him taking an interest in his health - I am for it - though I find him sexy with or without it.. but I want him around longer. Whatever your motivation, just insure that you don't set yourself up for disappointment and ANY motivation is a good thing

    true, any motivation is good motivation.

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