I was just wondering ... losing weight for others ?

I have lost weight to compete for a pair of jeans my sister and I were fighting over once............that doesn't really count though does it?
I won btw

Yes - I want to lose weight for my hubby. He is wonderful and he loves me at whatever size I am but he is so good to me, he deserves a hot wife.

I have a tendency to do this, or similar don't want to go into details. BUT the downside is that if you're doing it for someone else then it makes it too easy to fall off the wagon.

Like I'll be really motivated for weeks leading up to a catch up with girlfriends in my home town (becasue I'm super competitive and have to look my best!) but then when I get back I'll majorly fall off the wagon!

Having said that I think its great when people want to look good for their partner/spouse within reason, as long as the effort is reciprocated!

Yes - I want to lose weight for my hubby. He is wonderful and he loves me at whatever size I am but he is so good to me, he deserves a hot wife.

This is what I was meaning ^^^ I think this is really sweet

I think that if that is the only reason you are trying to lose weight, you may be walking on a slippery slope....I am certainly not one to talk about weight gain or loss; I probably have gained and lost another whole person 20 pounds at a time! Just be careful, sometimes people become someone they are not and find out that the reason they changed is not there after the change either. Love yourself and strive to be the person you want to be, not the person you think someone else wants you to be. Confidence and Happiness (true happiness) sends a very loud message to those around you.

I reckon when you think about it, most of the people losing weight for appearances are really losing the weight for other people (i.e. to appease society). As for me, I'm losing weight to feel better about myself because society's telling me I should look good in a bikini, and because I want to look good for my boyfriend when I see him for the first time in a year this Christmas

EDIT: just emphasising that I said people losing weight for 'appearances', not 'health'; I think there's a difference when your weight is actively affecting your health and you're doing something to change that.

it's their bodies. who am i to say what's right or wrong for their bodies.

i have enough on my hands being the boss of me and not enough time or inclination to try and be the boss of someone else

I wouldn't personally use someone else as my motivation for losing weight, especially not as (one of) my main motivator(s). It's sort of been something on my mind a bit in the past (previous weight loss attempts), but now I really want to do this for me--so I feel good about myself and so that I can go out and do things that my current weight and fitness level do not allow (sky diving, bungee jumping, long strenuous hikes, things of that nature). In the past when my reasons for losing weight had not been focused on *me* -- my health and crossing things off my bucket list and such, I always gave up after maybe a month at most. This time feels different; I feel much stronger in my dedication to lose this weight and I think had I not adjusted my view on why I want to get fit I would have once again given up by now.

Having said all that, just because it's not something I would use to keep at it nowadays doesn't mean that it wouldn't be the right motivational boost for someone else. We all have different driving forces behind our goals and I think that's just dandy.

I lost 33 pounds when I was 19 because my boss required it (that probably wasn't legal). I starved myself with 500-600 calories per day and trained like a triathlete every day (I have since learned that they call that "exercise bulimia!")

Gained it back and then some.

I lost 68 pounds in my mid-twenties doing a nationally marketed weight-loss program and more exercise bulimia because my first husband didn't like me at a size 12--( I met him right after that first weight loss when I hovered between a size 8 and a size 10).

Gained it all back and then some, as our marriage fell apart, and he was seeing someone else.

I remarried and got pregnant, miscarried, then got pregnant right away again and never lost the baby weight until I started working some really physical jobs (I lost 20 pounds because I sweat a ton, couldn't eat and couldn't sleep.) My current husband loves fat chicks, so he has sabotaged any attempts I've made to diet (and I let him, because I wanted the excuse to pig out)--right up until a few months ago when I found out my blood pressure was really high and I had become what is now referred to as pre-diabetic. BUT--during that time, he taught me lots about loving myself, and assured me that no matter how I looked, he would always adore me, because I was. . .well. . . ME! (cool, huh?)

So, this time, I am losing weight for me; for my health, for my longevity and for my peace of mind. I still have to run the gauntlet of several foods in the house that I cannot eat, and I have to force myself to exercise, but I am plenty stubborn enough to succeed. As they say in 12-step addiction meetings a lot--it takes what it takes to get you to where you need to be, and we'll love you until you can love yourself.

I hope that helps.

If the person is losing because of someone else, whether it's to look better or catch their eye, and it's not because the person has said something I don't see a problem. If the situation is that it would honestly make them feel better in their own skin and thus more confident in the relationship, why not?

One of my reasons to lose is my guy. We're long distance and he's always known my weight and he's seen me before we met in person, but when we did meet I was so embarrassed to take my clothes off I thought he was going to tear them up when we tried having sex. I wouldn't even take pictures of us together because I didn't want to show people this tall man who obviously works out against a dumpy little person. I didn't want most of our relationship marred for my hatred of my body. Now, is he the main reason? No. Hell he doesn't even know I'm losing weight.

Along the same vein, my mother sometimes tells me about this boyfriend she dated for 6 years, his family practically adopted her, and she found out he was cheating on her. In fact, ever since they began dating he was sleeping around even though he would tell my mother he loved her and she was the best. His reason was he "needed" to sleep with these women because he couldn't with my mom because he said she was fat. She ended up leaving him, but she did go through years of weight loss fads most likely because of him.

Although I want to be to be fit and healthy for myself I also want to look attractive for my bf.

He fancies me more when I am smaller. It doesn't make me feel insecure, it is just his preference for leaner women.

It's no different to me liking men with well developed forearms (as he well knows!)

I *want* him to look at me and think "Yum you are looking goood !". I know I am attractive to him anyway but I could be even more fanciable and I love him.

It's not a bad thing. I see it as a positive in a great relationship

I think it's okay to an extent. It shouldn't be the only factor motivating you, and you should ultimately want to do it for yourself, but that doesn't mean looking better for your partner shouldn't provide additional motivation. If you are insecure with your body, it can hinder your relationship.

However, I think a lot of people (young girls especially) think "If I become skinny, then he will like me." I think this is sad and unhealthy. He should like you for who you are, regardless of size. Hopefully you have features that are more important than a flat tummy and skinny thighs too.

If you're losing weight for other people, then did you feel you were fine at that weight? Then, yes, I think that's a problem. Why change if you think you are fine where you are?