Insert foot here . . . (vent)

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JediSwan
JediSwan Posts: 455 Member
in Motivation and Support
I realize that sometimes husbands say things in a way they dont mean it but seriously . . . if your wife asks you to help her, support her, and or just be there for her . . . dont make comments about things that jiggle while doing the work outs! This coming from a man who cannot even gain a pound (not his fault I suppose since the MS causes serious calorie burning) . . . but geez, have some tact! I have down days and days when I just want to give up and all I need is some support and some encouragement not comments that make me feel worse about myself.

Thanks for reading. Just needed to vent.

Replies

  • evenduchess83
    evenduchess83 Posts: 28 Member
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    I completely understand! Even though my hubby does not say things like that he still likes to make food that is high in calories which definitely does not help me. I am trying to lose weight here...not gain. Common now. He says he likes me just the way I am but I feel like crap. I lost 15 pounds before we got married and I gained it all back and then some. Partially because he loves to cook and partially because of an injury. At my worst I was 177 but I have lost 10 pounds since that time...but i definitely want to lose more. Just the hubby does not seem like much help.
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
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    Boy, can I relate! My hubby has sure stuck his foot in his mouth a few times. Even though I'm sure he didn't mean it the way I took it, it still stings! I just try to remember that he always wants the best for me, he never intends to hurt me, and that the hurt comes from the way I feel about myself.
  • JediSwan
    JediSwan Posts: 455 Member
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    Boy, can I relate! My hubby has sure stuck his foot in his mouth a few times. Even though I'm sure he didn't mean it the way I took it, it still stings! I just try to remember that he always wants the best for me, he never intends to hurt me, and that the hurt comes from the way I feel about myself.

    Exactly! I know he wants to support me and he does. He has no tact sometimes though. Its frustrating but then I have to think that he married me, he tells me quite often he loves me the way I am and I have to try to remember that when he does put his foot in his mouth.
  • impyimpyaj
    impyimpyaj Posts: 1,073 Member
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    That is frustrating. Have you talked to him about the comments that frustrate you? I don't mean in the moment, when you're frustrated, because that can turn into a fight. But maybe just mention sometime why those particular comments are hurtful, and let him know about the comments that he makes that DO help you. Like you said, he loves you, and he doesn't want to hurt you. Help him support you the way you need to be supported.
  • JediSwan
    JediSwan Posts: 455 Member
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    We have. He tries really hard to make me laugh when I'm down and sometimes ends up making me feel worse.
    He says he is sorry when he realizes what he said was not appropriate. He is a smart a$%. Always has been, always
    will be. I do love that he can make me laugh but when its about my body and how I feel . . . its a different story. I dont know why.
    I am very critical of myself and have extremely low self-esteem and I'm working on it. That's why I stay away from scales and measuring. I'm having an especially rough anxiety day today because my one year old has another health issue and she's going to the doctor again today. I'm feeling really down, like a horrible mother and just . .. having one of those days where I want to go home, go to bed and not talk to anyone. But alas, I cannot do that.
  • impyimpyaj
    impyimpyaj Posts: 1,073 Member
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    Yeah, I totally get those days. I'm glad you keep the lines of communication open with him though. That's important.

    Keep going. You're doing awesome, you have a man who loves you, and the stuff with your daughter is NOT YOUR FAULT. I've totally been there. My oldest didn't grow at all from 6 months to 14 months of age, and that was a really difficult time. Full of worry and stress and wondering what I was doing wrong. But I wasn't doing anything wrong, and I'm sure you're not either. You're taking her to the doctor to get the problem solved. That makes you a good mom. *hugs*
  • JediSwan
    JediSwan Posts: 455 Member
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    She had a staph infection that put her in the hospital for a week. Now the same bumps are back with white heads. Makes
    me nervous. She is acting fine but I really dont know if we can take another hospital stay. I just want her better. Of course
    she had thrush for a week after hospital stay because of the amount of antibiotics that were pumped through her system.
    She is the happiest baby you ever did see. She is smiling from morning until night. Its refreshing and makes life great but
    at the same time, wonder how she is so happy all the time and I would love to bottle that. LOL

    I am trying really hard to keep motivated through all this. :) I actually did some of the P90X weight stuff with my one year old
    as the weight. LOL She weighs 25 lbs. She was laughing the entire time.

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