Actually, I don't want your advice.

This is a rant. This is directed at a specific person that is not a member of MFP. I don't really want anything out of this except to get it out.


Dear Friend,

You know me better than many people. You have watched me go from wearing a size 0 during our freshman year of high school to the size 12-14 that I currently wear. You know that I grew up in a family that did not cook and ate fast food constantly, and that my knowledge of healthy eating came from my own research over the years. You, of all people, should know that it's been a struggle for me to get to the point where I can make healthy choices. I know that you were on unemployment for like 4 years and had all the time in the world to make 6 meals a day and workout 3 times a day, but I had to get through nursing school, work anywhere from 20-40 hours a week, and still make time for my fiance, family, and friends. Unlike you, I had goals in life alongside my goal toward becoming more physically healthy and unfortunately, they took precedence because you can't fail a class for not working out, but you can fail if you don't get your care plan turned in on time to your clinical instructor. And while I'm sure strangers would regard me better if I was thinner, my family and friends would rather see overweight me during my limited free time than see skinny pictures of me on Facebook.

Now things have changed. I DO have the time and energy and motivation to change my habits. Slowly but surely, I'm doing it. For me, it's a big change from ignoring my gradual weight gain over the years.

So when you asked me what I was doing for exercise, and I told you I was walking at least 30 minutes a day, why did you make it seem like I wasn't doing anything? Why did you not support me in my positive healthy changes, as I have done for you so many times over the years? I have come from someone who drank 5-6 Mt. Dews a day, ate fast food a minimum of 7 times a week, and binged in the middle of the night. Now I'm doing light exercise, drinking diet soda, freaking out over the calories and sodium and usually cutting down the portion when I do eat fast food, and cooking the majority of my meals at home. I'm sorry, but after drinking Mt. Dew since I was 9, I'm not going to cut it out overnight. Yeah, soda sucks, but I'm not telling myself I can't have it so that I will turn around and binge the heck out of it when I start going through caffeine withdrawal. Sorry, but I'm not going to turn around and try to do Insanity (yes, I bought it, yes, it's a goal of mine in the near future) when I haven't really worked out in 5 years. Since you do know me so well, you should know that my jumping events from middle and high school have left my knees in a precarious position, and Insanity is not easy on the knees - I'm building up to it. I'm going to work my way up to my exercise instead of trying to do it all at once and, like I've done in the past, quit after a couple of weeks because I'm not at the physical level to keep up with it and I hurt myself.

I realize that this is partially my fault. I never should have complained to you about how confusing it can be to decide how much of each nutrient to eat because there is so much disagreement between even the authorities on it. I never should have trusted you to be supportive and gentle of my weakness in this area. Instead of being met with empathy and support, I was given judgment. You lost a crap ton of weight without counting calories because you ate nothing but bananas and salad for a year. I'm not trying to do a crash diet - I'm trying to make this a lifestyle.

Do yourself a favor and keep going to therapy. And maybe actually start taking the medication they prescribed you instead of complaining about how horrible you feel. I'm sick of listening to you complain about your mental state and then chasing after home remedies when you have insurance and plenty of money to deal with it in a traditional way that's proven to work. Quit using the fact that I'm a caring friend and a nurse to bounce your crazy off of me. I'm going to stop being your sounding board if you refuse to be mine. And unlike you, I'm licensed to give advice, so you really should be paying me for it when you ask anyway.

Love,

Me