Dealing with fat jokes/comments

cassimus
cassimus Posts: 9 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone,

Generally I'm pretty confident being a bigger woman but there is one guy at work who seems to constantly comment on my weight and it makes me angry and bothered. He's bigger than me (but that shouldn't really matter) and makes comments or jokes about me or what I'm eating (i.e. if I have a small slice of pizza and a salad he tells me to lay off the pizza). Today he asked me if I've lost weight, which I have, and I joked about how every time I Skype my mom she says "You're so skinny now!" to which he replied "If you're skinny, I'm malnourished!"

I'm more bothered *that* he says the comments, more than what he says. I'm just wondering what other people say, either to those who make comments to them, or to themselves, to get over the anger or hurt?

Replies

  • a2902c
    a2902c Posts: 96
    You need to report this type of behavior. It's completely uncalled for. You legally do not have to work in a hostile environment.
  • Jenyphur
    Jenyphur Posts: 59 Member
    Wow, you are a much better person than me..that is for sure. I would have stabbed his left eye by now. Sheesh.
  • KittyMarie13
    KittyMarie13 Posts: 75
    That is absolutely unacceptable. In a REALLY odd coincidence I'm actually currently listening to our company's HR videos (annual requirement and they're the same videos each year) and I was literally just listening to a scenario in the harassment video where an overweight coworker was offended by comments made in passing between a group of other coworkers on their opinions about certain body types. That's harassment, plain and simple, and it was just an overheard conversation. What he's doing in making pointed comments and jokes about your weight is illegal in the workplace.

    Tell him he's being inappropriate and that it classifies as harassment (without pointing out that he has no room to talk about weight) and ask him to stop. If he doesn't, go to your supervisor.

    And on a personal note, he can go suck a big fat turd for being a jerk. You're working to be a healthier person and he's probably just jealous that you're making progress while he sits and spins.

    YAY YOU!
  • LiveHarder
    LiveHarder Posts: 13 Member
    I honestly haven't dealt with any repeated harassment about my size since I was in highschool. Not even in the workplace. Yeah I've been teased some and subjected to some negative comments, but not on a regular basis.
    You said that you usually are confident as a bigger woman. Since you said he was bigger than you, maybe that's the issue. His insecurity. He sees that you are okay with yourself and by trying to knock you down maybe he thinks it will make him feel better about himself. Maybe when he recognizes your self control to only eat a small slice of pizza and a salad, it reminds him of himself hiding at home eating a whole pizza by himself. Don't let it get to you. It's uncalled for, me and childish. Reguardless of the reasons. Or worse case you can confront him very nicely, maybe that will make him feel guilty. Tell him that you do know that your are over-weight but you are taking steps to try and overcome that and you would appreciate if he would keep his negative comments to himself because they are in fact disheartening and uncalled for.
    Keep it up sweetheart and don't let people get you down.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    punch him in the face and kick him in the balls.
  • Lkoblara
    Lkoblara Posts: 137 Member
    um, yeah, get on the phone to your human resources dept. That is workplace harassment. Plain and simple.



    ..... and then get him a mirror.
  • brentdaniels
    brentdaniels Posts: 127
    In our sue happy society HR will take care of that situation quickly....some people are pretty ignorant.
  • alikrorp225
    alikrorp225 Posts: 54
    Ugh. That's terrible! I agree that HR will take care of the situation. I am a stay-at-home mom, so I don't have to deal with comments at work, thankfully. However, I've had enough with comments from people who are supposed to be my friends! It's not that they're calling me fat...I would completely stop talking to them, if that were the case. It's that the more weight I lose, the more comments I get about "rewarding" myself with crap food OR that I work out "too much." Apparently, working out twice a day every once in a while is "too much." *sigh*

    I think that in both your case and mine, the issue is jealousy. That idiot at your job is jealous of your success and so he's trying to "trip you up" with his inappropriate/rude/idiotic comments. That's what non-friends do. "Friends" instead, tell you to "go eat a Krispy Kreme" or cheesecake or some cookies...and so on. *sigh*

    It really sucks that we get it from both sides! Why can't people just be happy for us??? GRR

    That's why I love MFP. The encouragement is wonderful.

    So let me encourage you to not only speak with HR(or him first and then HR) and keep going! You're doing GREAT!!!!! :)
  • lavenderlilly603
    lavenderlilly603 Posts: 4
    I have delt with co-worker bullying. Its terrible and makes your day horrible. I literally had this woman say "if you layed off the coke you wouldnt have acne" she literally hit two of my wounds at once. She would also make daily comments about what i was eating (this was before i started dieting). I eventually had to talk to my boss and after that she avoided me like the plague which was fine with me.

    People can be cruel for no reason at all. They need to be put in their place. Speak up dont just let it continue to happen.

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