Trigger Foods Rant

Eating disorder mindsets are actually genetic in some ways, and I think that's a contributing factor in my bulimia. My mom is a yo-yo dieter. She never eats in the late afternoon or dinner; I know it's been this way for more than 17 years. She'll never admit that she has EDNOS, but my therapist and I have done plenty of diagnosing for her. Lately, she's been driving me absolutely nuts. She binges in the morning on eggo waffles and whipped cream. (She's always gone through these episodes of cravings that last for weeks on end). When she goes grocery shopping each week, she buys everything that she has a craving for or looks good to her: donuts, cookies, cakes, pies, sugary cereals and more. She doesn't even TOUCH them. Instead, they are left in the house, and I have to deal with them. Everything she craves is also what I crave. I often binge on the junk food she brings home.

Last week, I threw an almost fit in the kitchen as she was putting groceries away. I asked her why she would buy this crap when she doesn't even eat it. I even started sobbing, and she promised she wouldn't do it anymore.

A week later: 4 packages of little debbie cakes, 3 boxes of cookies, a box of rice krispy treats, and a box of honey buns. Yeah, so much for not doing that anymore. I've already binged and purged twice in the past four days of this crap.

Sigh. Major test of my sanity and control.