I'm disgusted by me!

caspelletier28
caspelletier28 Posts: 7
in Introduce Yourself
hey there people.. i say "i am new to this" even though in all actuality i am not. here is my story.. i heard about MFP last year and started an account.. i believe that's about as far as i got.. lol.. i don't believe i even checked in more then a few times before forgetting about it completely. (this is sooooo me!)

well a few days ago i was trying on clothes to go out.. i am pretty sure by the end of the night i was so disgusted by who i have been seeing in the mirror there was no chance i was goin to have any fun.. until i started drinking my dear old good friend bud light.. soon there after i forgot about my gross self and proceeded to drink more.

the next day i woke up feeling like a bag of poop and bloated.. soo soo bloated.. i got out of bed went to my closet saw all of my beautiful clothes that no longer fit me.. it hit me. maybe its time i take control of this. i

logged into MFP and put in all my new goals and current weight .. i was very please to see that since the last time i logged in i had lost 29 lbs.. (that's all well and good however i still wear the same size everything which makes no sense to me at all..) i am really putting an effort in this time. I refuse to quit until i reach my goal.. getting into the habit of exercising is gonna be a tough one for me.. but damn it i will do it and i will look smoking by the time i am done!!

i would love to meet new people on here.. its always great to relate.. so please feel free to add me.. i would love an oppertunity to get to know a few people out there with the same goals..

i guess that's really what everyone is looking for

Replies

  • stephsteph76
    stephsteph76 Posts: 54 Member
    That is why I started MFP!!! I am starting to like how my old clothes look on me now, its taken 17 lbs to get there, but MFP has helped me out. Good luck and feel free to add me!!
  • starfishth
    starfishth Posts: 8
    I know that feeling quite well. I have been bouncing around 200 for the last several years, and while not happy, not really motivated to do anything about it. Got up to 217 and that did it. Lost six pounds like week, and hope to stay motivated to keep it up. We can support each other.
  • JoJoDoerr
    JoJoDoerr Posts: 173 Member
    I too know that feeling! I got started here because I seen a picture of myself and could not believe I looked like that! every day is a struggle to stay on track but is easier with friends! ;) Feel free to add me!
  • Mgroovy
    Mgroovy Posts: 2
    Insane!!! Disgusted by me??? That's just mean. We all fall down, relationships, school, work, life.... Our troubles help us to hopefully see a different way whatever that way may be to a greater happiness.

    The best we can do is find what makes us whole! Is it our personality, a hat, jewelry, the way we look, our friends etc...

    For what it's worth I hope you never look at yourself again like that because it is so negative and brings on negative attributes like consoling oneself with booze, "Just another separation from reality"

    If you want something "Then Take it", "If you're not sure, then continue living the same life" IT'S THAT EASY; IT'S ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE!!!


    Mitch
  • caspelletier28
    caspelletier28 Posts: 7
    If u look in my pics there is one of me in a yellow dress.. that is me about 15lbs lighter then my biggest!! its yucky i think.. i just recently started showing people i was so ashamed.. : (
  • Heather_Rider
    Heather_Rider Posts: 1,159 Member
    If u look in my pics there is one of me in a yellow dress.. that is me about 15lbs lighter then my biggest!! its yucky i think.. i just recently started showing people i was so ashamed.. : (

    oh honey! =( I also felt the same. I swear if i didnt have to shower nude, i wouldnt!!

    I will keep you in my thoughts.. i know you can do this! Please feel free to add me as a friend if you like.. i have less than 5.. i just joined yesterday, but once i really started getting into this site.. its made things SO much easier! i have faith in you! =)
  • redhousecat
    redhousecat Posts: 584 Member
    It takes just a little at a time, that's all! You have taken the first small step, now take another!

    Good luck!!
  • caspelletier28
    caspelletier28 Posts: 7
    If u look in my pics there is one of me in a yellow dress.. that is me about 15lbs lighter then my biggest!! its yucky i think.. i just recently started showing people i was so ashamed.. : (

    oh honey! =( I also felt the same. I swear if i didnt have to shower nude, i wouldnt!!

    I will keep you in my thoughts.. i know you can do this! Please feel free to add me as a friend if you like.. i have less than 5.. i just joined yesterday, but once i really started getting into this site.. its made things SO much easier! i have faith in you! =)

    thank u for doing this Quote thing.. now i understand! lol.. : )
  • phluffmuffin
    phluffmuffin Posts: 5
    You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Loosing weight takes a lot of dedication, time and patience but if you're hard on yourself all the time it takes even longer. It's hard to stay motivated if you're ashamed of yourself. Find something you like about your body and give it a compliment. Love yourself for taking care of yourself.
  • 7bel0
    7bel0 Posts: 192 Member
    I totally understand how you feel. It takes me HOURS to get ready to go out. Find something that you love about yourself and just rmind yourself everyday that you are making a life long change that is going to be beneficial to you for far longer than looking good out at the bars/etc.
  • jsukhan
    jsukhan Posts: 149 Member
    Take it as a learning experience and keep working for your goals.
  • WellnessbyVisalus
    WellnessbyVisalus Posts: 1
    You really need to try Visalus protein shakes. It tastes like cake mix and has everything you need for nutrition to help loose weight and give you more energy. Bud light is not going to help the bloat, but Visalus will.
    go to my website: www.wellnessbyvisalus.com

    Good luck to your new transformation,

    Diana
  • headlock_lynn
    headlock_lynn Posts: 79 Member
    For many of us on MFP we join because we get to the stage where we are disgusted with ourselves. That's the point where we have reached the stage of motivation and have the will power to do this. Well...I can't speak for any one else but for me that was certainly the case. I was wearing the same couple of expandable things because they were the only thing that fit anymore. Wardrobe full of clothes that I love but couldn't get into them.

    So pleased you have joined us and we are all here for you. Take it slow and steady and you will lose and look great. feel free to add me as a friend if you wish. We all need to support each other and encourage each other because some days it isn't easy. However, every pound lost is a huge step towards the goal. I have lost 32lbs now and am so pleased I stuck with it this time. I had finally reached that stage of being totally disgusted and "how did I let myself get this big".

    Good luck. Stay in touch. Love to hear how you are doing.
  • legaline
    legaline Posts: 35 Member
    keep your chin up! one of the best pieces of advice i've ever heard about trying to lose: its not even one day at a time, its one choice at a time. had too many beers one night? move on and make every choice the next day count!
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    being disgusted by myself is my motivation for losing weight.
  • 13inchestogo
    13inchestogo Posts: 296 Member
    Looks like your using your disgust in a positive way at least and thats awesome!!!! Just try not to be too mad at yourself! Your the you you wanna be just carrying extra unecessary weight :smile:

    If you want some support here and there feel free to add or message me :) Weeeeeu Fitness!!!!
  • cjh03
    cjh03 Posts: 74 Member
    You're on the right track by finding others that are working towards the same goal. Peer motivation can be a powerful tool...stick around and work towards that same goal with others helping you along the way!!
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    I too know the feeling of self-loathing.
    I never want to be that man again. KEEP PUNCHING!
    You can do this:flowerforyou:
  • myfitnessval
    myfitnessval Posts: 687 Member
    welcome back! my best friend and i decided to ban negative terms like disgusting, gross, fat, heffer...whatever you name it from our vocabularies from now on so that we can also get our mind fit too. basically i dont allow myself to look in the mirror and be like 'val you're so friggin fat!' its more like 'val we have work to do'. you should try it! it does wonder for the self esteem through these tough times of working our fat off!

    if only i had discovered MFP and kept all my beautiful clothes i was clinging to (got rid of the last skinny crap last year when i saw no hope and now I regret the decision)
  • smhaze77
    smhaze77 Posts: 52 Member
    I know that feeling all too well. My profile pic was taken on a day where I didn't hate how I looked for a change. Its nice to talk to people who understand how difficult it is some days and share a common goal. Add me if you'd like, I always appreciate having a new friend:smile:
  • Meaghan619
    Meaghan619 Posts: 2
    I know exactly how you feel, I'm a naturally thin/athletic person and even though I'm still pretty active I've blown up to nearly a deuce and a half which is more than 100lbs overweight for me.. it's so hard, just to look in the mirror and say "this is reality, this is actually me." Especially because I'm a compulsive eater and stuff my face to make myself feel better, even though the reason I felt like crap in the first place was because of how I look. It's a vicious cycle and daily struggle for me. But you can do this, and so can I! Just like another poster said - one choice at a time.. one bad choice is not the end of the world, just keep on trucking and make as many good choices as you can! Feel free to add me, I'm looking for lots of support and friends with similar struggles.
  • ajsopher
    ajsopher Posts: 3 Member
    Hello!! I can so relate to your pain!!! I have spent the past few years in total denial of my weight gain..............i would go shopping and not find anything that fits and my young daughter would ask me why I was bigger than the other moms at her school!!!! I would just take these disappointments and shove them deep somewhere inside. I became a homebody and avoided going out..............I would look at pictures of me and be disgusted, but still just buried how I felt.

    I have trouble living by a number on the scale...........exercise is where it is at for me. Since my eyes finally opened 3 months ago, I have lost 20 inches everywhere..........the tape measure is my new best friend, to hell with the scale!!!! I could barely get through walking a mile without thinking I would die, and three months later I am walking 5 miles a day with a 10 pound vest on in less than an hour............I also do extra work for about 1/2 hour a day on my abs, arms, or legs............then reward myself with a 20 minute stretch!! Once I was able to handle adding the weights, the inches really started dropping...........

    YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!! Small steps, small steps!!!!!!!

    I don't have any friends on here as of yet because I just found this site a couple of weeks ago, so feel free to add me:happy:
  • BeSophisticate
    BeSophisticate Posts: 132
    Welcome back!

    I totally empathize with the exercise thing. All you can do is find something you like (experimenting might be necessary) and start small. If you try to jump in to exercise at the deep end, you might do like me and give it up completely (otherwise known as burning out).

    So far, the elliptical trainer is my fabvorite. I know that sounds weird. It's not like it's something 'fun' like water skiing, but I always feel like I've accomplished something after, which is a great feeling for me. I started out at just 2 days per week but quickly added more. I've been on here about a month and a half or so and I'm up to 4 days per week, with 5 being my goal.

    The most important thing is to figure out what is going to work for you. You'll do great!
  • Rayman79
    Rayman79 Posts: 2,009 Member
    I think I started just like you did! I downloaded MFP about 9 months before I actually started using it properly. I lost a little bit of weight during that time, but since I came back to MFP properly the results have been awesome (although still slow going). I have not missed more than a couple of days logging since last September, and in that time have lost about 40lbs.

    The hard part is turning it into a habit. There will be times you want to not log, you have something you shouldn't have, you drank too much etc. The keys to success are consistency and accountability. Stick it out, be honest with yourself and you will be successful!

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